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AIBU

Trans Teacher

(1001 Posts)
TheHappyGardener Sat 09-Sept-23 23:58:36

My friend’s grandchild has just gone in to Year 4 (so aged 8-9) and her teacher is a man, who identifies as a Mr, but who chooses to wear a skirt to work. I’m all for informed sexual education but at the appropriate time (ie secondary school) - Should his personal sexuality choices be given free rein at primary school age? I think young children should be allowed to be ‘children’, and not have adults flaunting their sexual choices on them. Did we, at primary school, ever have to know or worry about our teachers’ private lives? There’s a time and a place … what he does outside of his working hours is entirely up to him but surely this is not appropriate in a primary school setting?

Nicenanny3 Sun 10-Sept-23 09:52:57

I suppose it could be worse he could have false boobs as well like this male teacher in Canada 😁

Mollygo Sun 10-Sept-23 10:00:49

Just another attention-seeking male IMO.

Unless his outfit is really unsuitable (e.g. staff are not allowed to wear skimpy tops and no staff are allowed to wear tops with pictorial logos or unsuitable wording), then they should have blatantly given him permission. Having permission to do something you think is challenging the rules is a real kill-joy.
The school could also have made a point about uniform.

The head could have had an assembly to announce that, as Mr x has demonstrated, boys may wear the school skirts if they so wish.
A few would . . . for a while. I saw that happen when we changed our uniform from boys and girls to just school uniform.

A few boys did indeed challenge that by coming in their sister’s skirt, but when it went on challenged, it wasn’t interesting enough to continue.
Our uniform is now just stated as trousers or skirts or divided skirts, not under boys or girls.

BlueBelle Sun 10-Sept-23 10:02:28

Why on earth are people so concerned at what a teacher is wearing Franbern I don’t know if it’s the same where you live but may I give you two examples of why it is of interest if not concern to me
At the beginning of the hot weather my friend who has two school age sons had a school letter sent home saying during this hot weather ‘Boys are Not allowed to wear shorts unless they are trans then they may wear a skirt’
The children here in high school have to wear their blazers whenever they are moving from classroom to classroom or in the corridors even in these boiling temperatures the High school here have recently ( last year or two) become very strict on their uniform rules. Children have to put plasters over earrings if they can’t take them out what happens if the teacher a brilliant teacher turns up with face tattoos, long plugged ears etc is that suitable?

I think teachers should set an example if he has changed his sex to female there is nothing wrong with him dressing in his new genders clothes however if dressing in female clothes is just something he likes doing like drinking beer then that’s for his home time only and his personal life He may adore a pet duck but he doesn’t bring it to school with him

Keep your preferences at home and be a dedicated respectful teacher dressed in a conventional manner and I would say the same to someone like myself who loves, colourful Boho hippy style clothes they would never be appropriate in a classroom or office

maddyone Sun 10-Sept-23 10:03:27

No, he should not be wearing a skirt to school.
If he wants to transition fully, it would involve a lot more than just wearing a skirt.
A class of eight year olds is not the place to be ‘projecting his individuality.’
He is employed to teach the National Curriculum, not to flaunt his differences.
He should follow the school dress code, just as the children are required to do.
Normally this means fairly conservative dress.

Callistemon21 Sun 10-Sept-23 10:06:22

Ashcombe

I wonder what this chap wears when he teaches P.E?
I imagine that the parents are more concerned about this than the children, who tend to be more tolerant. They would be more concerned about being treated fairly by any teacher and if he was good at the job.

Would it be newsworthy if he were wearing a kilt?

A hockey skirt?

That was probably the nicest item of clothing of all our school uniform, a short kilt in plain fabric!

At a school near here the boys went in wearing skirts to support the girls who had been told they were not allowed to wear trousers.

NanKate Sun 10-Sept-23 10:08:05

I’m with you Urms.👍

My grandchildren live in the Brighton area and my eldest who was 9 at the time commented to me about someone who had just walked passed us. ‘That posh lady had on a lot of makeup’ he said.

When we got back in the house I explained that some men like to dress in women’s clothes (in this case a long pink dress with a matching parasol). ‘That’s not a man Nan’ ! ‘Yes it is’ I replied. I then started to say how we had Dames in Pantos. By this time my DGS had lost interest and the conversation stopped. I now suspect children accept these situations far more easily than some of us do.

Callistemon21 Sun 10-Sept-23 10:12:25

maddyone I do agree with you.

Women teachers do wear trousers as they are unisex so he could too.

What point is he trying to get across to young children?

maddyone Sun 10-Sept-23 10:13:29

When I first started teaching in 1974, many schools did not allow female teachers to wear trousers. Nowadays of course, it is completely normal for women teachers to wear trousers and indeed, it is more convenient and dignified if a teacher is teaching Early Years and is often sitting on the floor.
However, societal norms do not include men wearing skirts, apart from kilts, and schools should reflect the society they serve, not reflect the individual whims of teachers.
Perhaps the parents views should be sought. I’m fairly sure what the outcome would be.

Jackiest Sun 10-Sept-23 10:14:26

We no longer refer to trousers as men's clothing maybe we should stop referring to dresses as women's clothing.

Callistemon21 Sun 10-Sept-23 10:16:12

It depends what he would wear under his kilt.

Fleurpepper Sun 10-Sept-23 10:19:50

Parsley3

I watched the last night of the Proms yesterday and one of the people in the women's section of the choir was dressed in a suit like the men. Gender fluidity is with us and 10 years from now it will no longer attract a comment, imo.

And she looked great, didn't she.

maddyone Sun 10-Sept-23 10:20:08

Thanks Callistemon.
I too wonder about the motivation of this person.
If I had an eight year old in this class I would be quite concerned about this flouting of normal, societal behaviour.
A school is not the place to be pushing an individual agenda, although what his agenda is, I’m not sure.
As a parent ( if I were such a parent) I would undoubtedly be seeking an appointment with the headteacher to discuss my concerns.

maddyone Sun 10-Sept-23 10:20:36

Jackiest

We no longer refer to trousers as men's clothing maybe we should stop referring to dresses as women's clothing.

Why?

Bodach Sun 10-Sept-23 10:25:22

Urmstongran

I don’t think we can stuff this particular genie back into the bottle now. We’ve gone too far in ‘acceptance’ (Goodbye Mr Chips) and more will follow. I don’t like it but again it seems I’ll be in the minority on GN. It seems to be my role these days.

I wouldn't worry about being in the minority on GN, Urmstongran; and I suspect you don't..
Anyway; I think it's a pity that - when there are relatively few male teachers/role models in primary schools - one of them chooses to present himself like this for his own gratification. My father became a primary school headmaster after he came home from WW2 (and, incidentally, often wore the kilt when appropriate). He would have given this skirt-wearing individual short shrift.

Bodach Sun 10-Sept-23 10:30:05

PS: As is the way in the British Army (other than when doing highland dancing) my father wore nothing under his kilt.

nanna8 Sun 10-Sept-23 10:31:42

Is he a Scotsman or a Pacific Islander? A lot of men wear skirts out in the island regions and I think they look wonderful. If he is just an attention seeker wearing a very feminine type skirt I would worry - in fact I would remove my child and send them to another school.

Enid101 Sun 10-Sept-23 10:31:50

I don’t think the Headteacher could prevent this teacher from wearing a skirt. My view is, with any item of clothing a member of staff chooses to wear, you shouldn’t be able to see up it, down it or through it.

Bella23 Sun 10-Sept-23 10:33:29

Why do we all just accept everything we think we should? When I taught even small tatooes had to be covered with Elastoplast and people with multiple piercings never seemed to get promotion.
I'm not against cross dressing in fact I have two paintings by a cross dresser displayed in my house.
All I would say is in the past it was done with decorum. Thinking of some of the disruptive children I taught I wonder how he keeps control. Mine would have been peeping up my shirt.

paddyann54 Sun 10-Sept-23 10:34:37

Maddyone "normal" means something different to us all,its just clothes and children might have a giggle about them as we did in the 60's when our teacher wore trousers to school but it was soon forgotten.Personal things are often seen or heard in the classroom,we had a male teacher who suffered very badly from shellshock.Any loud noise had him shaking like a leaf in the wind and sometimes he would walk into the cupboard until he had calmed down.
Should we ,as 8 year olds,been spared that sight or was it as in my case a reason why many of us became anti war and joined organisations that were like minded .The teacher in a skirt isn't harming anyone with his "normal" the kids will take from it what they want ,indeed in todays world they probably wont give it a second thought

Franbern Sun 10-Sept-23 10:44:17

Nicenanny3

09:40Franbern

Seems a rather 'strnge mind to wonder what underwear someone is wearing!!

*I was having a bit of fun obviously lighten up. Seems more strange to me perhaps not to you that a grown man and a teacher is going to school wearing a skirt 😉*

No more than another teacher wearing trousers, however they may identify,

Glorianny Sun 10-Sept-23 10:46:08

If we are to assign items of clothing to one sex or another who s going to make the final ruling? Will kilts become male and not female wear, and trousers???
Dress codes change. I once worked for a head who didn't allow women staff to wear trousers. Shortly after that I worked in a school which employed a couple of Australian teachers who wore shorts in hot weather, very smart respectable shorts
.
I also don't see how wearing a skirt is anything to do with sexuality. Do we regard all women in trousers as doing this? Leave him alone. The children probably noticed when term first started, but by now they will have accepted him and won't be bothered.

Bellanonna Sun 10-Sept-23 10:49:11

Good posts Maddyone.

Trousers are worn by most women and this has never been to
support their identifying as male. Skirts, apart from kilts which are part of Scottish culture, have never been a part of male dress code. I can’t work out why a skirt might feel more “comfortable” for the teacher in question, but he should not be dressing in one while taking a class of 8-9 year olds. He is clearly making a point, whether or not he calls himself Mister.

Children have to follow uniform criteria so this man should confirm to whatever is the norm for his male colleagues. By all means, dress as he likes when out of school.

maddyone Sun 10-Sept-23 10:51:43

Paddianne
Perhaps you never taught in a school. I did, and schools have dress codes for staff as well as children. Perhaps you didn’t know that.
My normal has nothing to do with it, but societal norms do!
Schools reflect societal norms, not individual preferences.
This person is pushing the boundaries. Out of school, pushing the boundaries is fine. In school, it is not! This person is showing a total lack of respect for the school he works in, the children he teaches, and their parents.
In all likelihood the headteacher is afraid of appearing in the national press, should he/she challenge this unorthodox behaviour.
Because that’s the world we live in now.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 10-Sept-23 10:54:52

I agree with your posts maddy.

maddyone Sun 10-Sept-23 10:57:17

For example, female staff in my school were unable to wear spaghetti strap tops. They were considered unsuitable in school, although they are obviously perfectly suitable at home, in the garden, on holiday etc. But not in school!
Male and female teachers were unable to wear vest tops. All tops should have a short sleeve.
It’s called respectful dress, and I conformed.
Dress codes are mandatory in many professions and workplaces. It’s not unusual, it’s required.

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