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AIBU

Trans Teacher

(1001 Posts)
TheHappyGardener Sat 09-Sept-23 23:58:36

My friend’s grandchild has just gone in to Year 4 (so aged 8-9) and her teacher is a man, who identifies as a Mr, but who chooses to wear a skirt to work. I’m all for informed sexual education but at the appropriate time (ie secondary school) - Should his personal sexuality choices be given free rein at primary school age? I think young children should be allowed to be ‘children’, and not have adults flaunting their sexual choices on them. Did we, at primary school, ever have to know or worry about our teachers’ private lives? There’s a time and a place … what he does outside of his working hours is entirely up to him but surely this is not appropriate in a primary school setting?

VioletSky Tue 19-Sept-23 10:09:57

Dickens

^Neurotypical minds are something aren't they^

... and that's an example - what do you mean - who are you addressing?!

(a PS to VS)

I obviously don't communicate within parameters you would like to set for me

That isn't a me problem

Doodledog Tue 19-Sept-23 10:43:34

VS why not start a separate thread about you? This one has had enough posts wasted already.

WRT the book - we have no way of knowing how many schools have stocked it but the fact remains that this sort of thing is marketed at young children and is therefore part of the context I outlined earlier (many times, as it is always ignored grin). Put together with the drag queens, the 'grandad' book, the Stonewall/Mermaids courses, the teachers being disciplined for 'misgendering', children having 'gender change' affirmed without consultation with their parents etc etc it forms another piece of the jigsaw that makes people question the motives of the skirt-wearing teacher.

Callistemon21 Tue 19-Sept-23 10:46:53

Just another brick in the wall.

Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone
All in all, it's just another brick in the wall
All in all, you're just another brick in the wall

We don't need no thought control

FarNorth Tue 19-Sept-23 11:01:12

A lot of books for children are published sometimes independently,

HarperCollins Publishers Glorianny.

FarNorth Tue 19-Sept-23 11:12:00

I know some kids are quite 'advanced' at an early age but, generally speaking, what an 8 year old is capable of understanding fairly comprehensively will surely be beyond the average 4 year old?

Just thinking back to when my son was 4 - he was of average intelligence. I can imagine showing him such a book and he would give me that eye-blinking, 'tolerant' look reserved for those times when I was babbling on to him about something he didn't really understand or have much interest in.

Children around that age are still figuring out what a girl or boy is.
To learn that it all depends on how you feel and what you like to do or wear - that could seem fun & attractive.

I can easily imagine my kids going for it, at that age, if an adult showed them this book with pictures of happy kids, perhaps read it to them and told them that's how things are.

Glorianny Tue 19-Sept-23 11:14:09

So what should a teacher do when a child in their class is introduced to them as transgender, something the parents are supporting, and the child becomes the object of teasing and bullying? Just ignore it?

Funny how the words of a song can be misrepresented.
Another Brick in the Wall was about not conforming, accepting difference, being different, choosing a different path to the conventional one.
Thought control indeed, but not from trans people.

FarNorth Tue 19-Sept-23 11:15:53

What do you suggest the teacher do Glorianny?

FarNorth Tue 19-Sept-23 11:22:15

I suggest :
Stop the bullies, however that's usually done (Idk, I'm not a teacher)
Use the name the child wants.
Avoid using wrong-sex pronouns.
Do not treat the child as the sex they are not, eg in sports.

If the reason for not doing all that is fear of losing the job, the job isn't worth having.

I don't suggest just following orders and being a jobsworth while coaching a child towards ruining their life.

Doodledog Tue 19-Sept-23 11:32:52

Glorianny

So what should a teacher do when a child in their class is introduced to them as transgender, something the parents are supporting, and the child becomes the object of teasing and bullying? Just ignore it?

Funny how the words of a song can be misrepresented.
Another Brick in the Wall was about not conforming, accepting difference, being different, choosing a different path to the conventional one.
Thought control indeed, but not from trans people.

Nobody should ignore bullying. The question is too open to know which post is being addressed, but bullying should not be ignored. That should go without saying.

As for the meaning of Brick in the Wall (or any other lyric, poem or novel) - it is not fixed, and will vary according to the mindset of the reader/listener, as well as according to the time in which it is heard. Thought control is thought control, and I can't think of any other topic where thoughts have been controlled as much as with this one. Are there other examples of people being 'cancelled', sacked from jobs, threatened and shouted down for expressing beliefs in 'democratic' societies?

'Trans issues' didn't exist when BITW was written, and would not have been in Waters' mind at the time, but that doesn't mean that that interpretation is not valid 40 years later.

Dickens Tue 19-Sept-23 12:11:01

VioletSky

Dickens

Neurotypical minds are something aren't they

... and that's an example - what do you mean - who are you addressing?!

(a PS to VS)

I obviously don't communicate within parameters you would like to set for me

That isn't a me problem

You posed a question - I gave a possible 'answer', a reason why the "some people" might be a problem.

... and I don't "wish" to set any parameters for you, or anyone else come to think of it.

It's a fairly simple concept - even if you are neuro-divergent (one of my grandsons is so I'm not speaking entirely without understanding)... address the person (or people) with whom you have taken issue. It doesn't matter how you word your comment, when we know you are 'talking' to a particular poster, regardless of what you say, the thread then just flows on and continues focusing on the topic, rather than the confused reaction you get after one of your rather confusing observations... not infrequently accusatory observations.

You are basically doing the equivalent of someone physically walking into a room full of people debating - making an announcement to no-one in particular, and then walking out again, resulting in confusion and curtailment of the discussion whilst everyone tries to figure out what you were on about.

Maybe you'd rather we just ignored your posts - perhaps you just want to make a point and leave it at that?

That isn't a me problem

I've seen posts from you on other threads, on other topics, which indicate that you have a good grasp of it - making quite astute observations on the matter being discussed. I'm not entirely convinced that you are as 'helpless' as you are implying. From those particular posts, no-one would know or guess that you are neuro-divergent.

inishowen Tue 19-Sept-23 12:21:13

Men tend to sit with their legs apart. I wonder what the kids are seeing under his skirt?

Doodledog Tue 19-Sept-23 12:29:35

Not everyone who is neurodivergent bangs on about it all the time either. It is not a 'get out of jail card' - as my daughter always says 'it can explain behaviour, but not excuse it - there are always choices'.

For all anyone knows everyone on this thread could have neurodivergences - in fact research is suggesting that the idea of neurotypicality is out of date, and that people are a mixture of divergent traits. Not everyone rushes to diagnosis, but that doesn't mean that they are not struggling with various things that they are not declaring, and this also applies to areas such as previous life experiences, sexuality and so on. Arguments and opinions should stand or fall on their merits, particularly as we are all anonymous and could claim to be anything or anyone.

But this is another diversion from the topic, isn't it? And one that brings the topic back to VS.

VioletSky Tue 19-Sept-23 13:40:07

Or maybe people could accept I am autistic and speak the way I speak Dickens

It doesn't cause me any issues in real life in conversation because people can hear my tone and see my mannerisms

In fact, it doesn't cause me any issues anywhere online either except trans threads and estrangement threads so...

Maybe check for unconscious bias

Doodledog Tue 19-Sept-23 13:45:54

inishowen

Men tend to sit with their legs apart. I wonder what the kids are seeing under his skirt?

That's an interesting point. Women are socialised to sit with legs together or crossed, but anyone who uses buses or trains will know that men are brought up very differently.

Much would depend on the style of the hypothetical skirt of course, but it's a valid question.

TerriBull Tue 19-Sept-23 14:14:53

inishowen

Men tend to sit with their legs apart. I wonder what the kids are seeing under his skirt?

Oh so perfectly illustrated by trans woman Rachel McKinnon when she won a women's cycling event, towering over her slight female runner ups with her broad shoulders, sturdy thighs and legs akimbo in what was formerly known as "man spreading" but I guess that term ought to be re worked into something like "external genital bearer spreading" to reflect the current climate of not defining certain characteristics such as penis and testicles as part of the male anatomy only!

FarNorth Tue 19-Sept-23 14:17:24

It would also depend on the man's awareness.

Men in kilts have a useful sporran which weights the kilt suitably when sitting.

Mollygo Tue 19-Sept-23 14:18:09

Terribull
"man spreading" but I guess that term ought to be re worked into something like "external genital bearer spreading"

Excellent!🤣

FarNorth Tue 19-Sept-23 14:19:26

"external genital bearer spreading"
Great idea!
We haven't seen nearly enough of men being reclassified in the way women are.

In fact, What Is A Man anyway?

Doodledog Tue 19-Sept-23 14:22:34

Oh, don't ask that one grin. We still don't know what 'being in the wrong gender' means.

Were sporrans designed for weighting down purposes? I kind of assumed they were handy places to put a spare hankie and change for the bus, but maybe I've been wrong all along wink

Mollygo Tue 19-Sept-23 14:24:38

VioletSky

Or maybe people could accept I am autistic and speak the way I speak.

I’ll have to take your word for that.

And possibly in real life you are astute enough not to

In fact, it doesn't cause me any issues anywhere online either except trans threads and estrangement threads so...
I don’t know about estrangements threads, but on trans threads, have you ever considered that it’s your behaviour that causes issues.

Maybe check for your conscious bias.

VioletSky Tue 19-Sept-23 15:56:47

Unnecessarily rude as always Mollygo

GrannySomerset Tue 19-Sept-23 16:36:19

Not rude, * Mollygo*, just accurate.

Doodledog Tue 19-Sept-23 16:55:03

Crikey. Is this thread still about VS?

Callistemon21 Tue 19-Sept-23 17:07:09

😴

VioletSky Tue 19-Sept-23 17:13:26

Yes apparently everyone would like to make the thread about me:

So, I am just having a nice bath after finishing cleaning the bathroom. I think I will just cook something simple for dinner, not really that hungry. Then I was considering watching a new sci-fi series.. probably fall asleep trying though.

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