Totally exhausted from babysitting GC

It really is so sad to hear all these stories of GMs who take on too much because they want to help their AC as much as they can. Then, when they realise they are finding it very hard/exhausting, they fear upsetting their AC if they say they need to scale back on the childcare. I understand this is very difficult, particularly if you're caring for GKs whilst their parents are working and they have no other options, or can't afford nursery/childminders.

When my DS & DiL moved to be closer to both sets of GPs, they struggled to find childcare. Both GMs said, if they couldn't sort anything out, we would share the childcare between us throughout the week. All I can say now is, thank God that they did find a wonderful childminder! I absolutely worship my little GKs, but having them on the odd occasion has made me realise that there's no way I would've coped having them 2-3 full days each week. I'm so exhausted after just a few hours! It's non stop! I take my hat off to any GM who does this, and some do far more!

I think many of us are initially pleased that, when our AC have their own babies, they still need us, so we go along with offering up our free time to help them out as much as possible. For some, this often escalates to be more than they'd ever planned for, or can cope with. We all need balance in our lives, and that goes for GPs as well as our AC.

EHM, I hope you reassess how much childcare you are able to do, and get some proper balance in life, especially with your lovely partner. Time waits for no one, as the saying goes, so don't waste yours on looking after the GKs, when you have a lovely man you should be spending your time with! Your ACs will find a way to cope! Good luck to you!

Your post has left me exhausted just reading it! No wonder you’re on your knees. I’m afraid your adult children are being totally selfish. They chose the life they have, ie, having children, so in truth they are the ones who should have the majority of the responsibility in bringing them up and arranging child care rather than expect you to do so much of it. Helping out is one thing, being “mother” whilst they live a life akin to one before having children is quite another. You need to put strict ground rules in place and stick to them. Your AC have to take much more responsibility for their children. A worn out, ill, grandparent is what you’ll become if you carry on as you are.

As for them trying to dictate whether you have a boyfriend “or them” - well that’s disgusting behaviour on their part. They are adults behaving like small children.

Your post says you are totally exhausted, you have been ill and enjoyed the peace and quiet; you have a kind partner and selfish adult children who have shown they can't manage without you.
So set your guidelines; help during the week on your terms but absolutely no babysitting at weekends; that time is reserved for your partner .Any criticism of you and him and the weekly help goes. You can't allow them to treat you like this, and I believe your daughter in law is on your side, so be firm.

So what have you done, OP?

No wonder you're exhausted OP . I do think the AC take the mick these days when babysitting for a night out blends into half of the next day as well ! If our DPs ever babysat it was at our house then they went home when we got in . You will have to put some restrictions on the amount of care you're giving .We cared for 2 of our now school age GKs quite alot with overnight stays etc - not as much a you're doing - but now we hardly see them ! Only at family get togethers when all the family are there. So that's made me very wary of getting to attached to any future GKs. You must put clear time schedule in for the new year . You have your own life and you're fortunate to have a new partner who will hopefully be with you long after the GKs are off your hands . You need to plan time for the two of you xx