DH habits

If you have been married long enough to know his habit of not being an early riser, why are you intent on spoiling his new retirement by trying to force him out of bed?

Perhaps he stays there to avoid you.

Or perhaps this is a wind-up.

eazybee
ThankYou for the helpfulness in your response . I also have no idea why on numerous threads people indicate that things may be in your words eazybee a “wind up” or made up .

My DH is early to bed and gets up early morning too. I don't wake up naturally as I constantly get disturbed by toilet visits. I don't get up late I don't see the point if I'm awake.
We make arrangements for whatever I will call my DH only to find him sleeping. I feel as if I spend half the day waiting for him to shift. I will call to him when a meal is being served again I will find him asleep. It could start WW 3 but it's not worth an argument life is too short.

Because, Nana Tuesday, yours is such a silly post.

eazybee
Actually it wasn’t a silly post ‘ as I started my op with
‘My DH like others of yours I imagine , has annoying habits ‘
Yet no one really mentions their DH annoying habits just focused on my apparent failings .

If you know his sleeping habits , why try and change him when he’s recently retired. One of the joys of retirement is not having to get up early.
Instead of getting annoyed, do your own thing in the mornings . Household chores , walk the dog, run errands , meet a friend for coffee.
You say want to chat in the mornings, but you have the whole day to chat. Why are the mornings so important? .
As someone else said , you need to lighten up. There are far worse habits to have .

NanaTuesday

eazybee
Actually it wasn’t a silly post ‘ as I started my op with
‘My DH like others of yours I imagine , has annoying habits ‘
Yet no one really mentions their DH annoying habits just focused on my apparent failings .

My DH has annoying habits but after 35 years of marriage, I just let it go . Because at the end of the day it’s not important.

NanaTuesday you are getting a bit of stick on here but maybe that’s because in this pretty upside down world your irritations about your husband seem a bit of a non starter.
Can you think why it annoys you so much ? it does sound a bit demanding to expect a newly retired man who’s enjoying a lie in to be bouncing around early just because you are 🙃
I know how difficult it can be as I m an early girl too and if I stay at my children’s any time I m always trying to keep quiet

Instead of worrying about it why not just get on with whatever you like doing in the mornings and he ll join in when he’s up and running
Is it really worth getting in a tizz over I m sure you’re not joined at the hip so have some nice things perhaps with others to do in the mornings then do together things in the afternoon evening but don’t be resentful it’s not worth it 😀

So what ! I mean seriously so what ??
Let the man sleep, he deserves the rest surely to goodness !

NanaTuesday

eazybee
Actually it wasn’t a silly post ‘ as I started my op with
‘My DH like others of yours I imagine , has annoying habits ‘
Yet no one really mentions their DH annoying habits just focused on my apparent failings .

I expect some posters, like me, are widowed and would give anything to have a bed with a husband still in it! Count your blessings.

Its not always easy is it NanaTuesday this retirement lark? I'm wondering if the getting out of bed thing is part of some other struggles eg coming to terms with the fact that OH will be around in your space for longer, now he is no longer working.
You say you feel tired post family visit....could he take more of an active role there maybe?
Do you just see life differently, you like to be busy and he doesn't?

Can you agree to disagree on this one?
Its not always easy navigating this stuff.

You are perfect of course.

I was thinking about this, NanaTuesday and remembered that when DH retired he said he was missing work although there was plenty to do with the house and garden.
We joined National Trust and got out to various places.

But I also encouraged him to join local groups, voluntary and otherwise. There are plenty around in most places, eg U3A, Rotary, Round Table, Probus, helping with a food bank, community fridge or community garden.

If he's enthusiastic he'll have a reason to get up and out and you'll be like ships that pass in the night, having to make an appointment to meet 🙂

(Still laughing about a semi-restored man, though, sorry. It just takes a bit of encouragement and work on our part 😂)

I’m Team Husband. My normal waking time is 9 am. I read and check emails in bed, then get up for Popmaster at 10:30. I got up early for work for over 40 years, it’s such a joy to luxuriate in bed. Let him be and do your own Morning Thing, then share a lovely afternoon with him.

10.30?!

I sound as if I was pushing DH to get out and join things. On the contrary, he was lost without being able to be busy, on committees, fund-raising etc, organising and I didn't want to be organised

Callistemon21 , Dempie55 , Serendipity2
I applaud you all on your advice given on both this page & the previously deleted post 👏
I am sure that I read about being ‘ non judgmental’ somewhere on Gransnet .
Sorry if my thinking was that it was a safe space to air our gripes & moans amongst other daily issues . All it seemed to do was rile most GN’s to the point of utmost rudeness .
Leaving me to feel like I was telling tall tales and feeling utterly amazed at the outpouring of vitriol aimed at me !
If I choose to air such things , yes I leave myself open to criticism, I accept that .
However it seems that it was more a case of knives out and each poster fed off of others !
I was mocked , at every turn .
The situation that I wrote about is not made up , it is what is known as real life and we don’t all have those perfect advertising wholesome family get togethers . When there is that one person in either your family or your life that just take ,take , take and never appreciate the chances they’ve been given , every now and then it gives way to a rant .
The post re my DH , yes GSM I have brought it up before , why do you think that is ?
I was given some practical advice , however nothing I haven’t already done . My DH himself admits that if he doesn’t get up he will just sleep and sleep . Personally I do not think that is healthy and do not want him to fall into that habit . If he has to get up he does , he is a late sleeper by his own admission . I am not stupid and I take on board all the positive suggestions many of which I already do .
The posts yesterday threw me under that bus and as none of us are ever aware of someone else’s mental state , that was a mean and nasty thing to be doing .
Yes , if I don’t like the responses I shouldn’t post .
But whatever happened to “ Be Kind”
Thank you to the few people who showed some of that kindness .

I think you’ve posted that on the wrong thread.

Well I am like your dh. Have had breakfast, taken tablets, drunk cranberry with d-mannose, looked at the news headlines on my iPad. Did Wordle and posted it on here. Read some posts. Now my coffee has arrived and is amused as I read out your post. Just letting it cool and then I will “leap” out of bed and face the challenges of the day. I will add that I have suffered from insomnia for years but in my working days I was up at 6 and driven to work and was always there by 7.30 (teacher). Those early mornings continued until dh retired and he welcomed getting up early to read newspapers in peace and quiet so it seems to suit him to deliver drinks, breakfast of oats and yoghurt, at a pace that suits us. Mind you, don’t know where the day goes!!!!

Correction. I drove to work. I wasn’t driven. Also I order my online shop while in bed.

...and you are quite perfect without any irritating habits?

My late DH used to get up every morning between 4.30 and 5.30. He would get himself coffee and biscuits and watch tv downstairs until about 6.30 when he would bring me a coffee. Then he’d shower, dress & go to the paper shop for a paper. Same routine when he retired! I got used to it and still wake up around 6.30 even though he is no longer with me.

Be glad you've got him.......

Doesn't mean he can't get on her wick, though.

Sorry I agree with the majority I don’t got to bed until after midnight we are all different. Couldn’t think of anything worse than being nagged to get up. I think maybe just chill and relax and enjoy the easy days.