Daughter abroad doesn’t want us to move too far from airport

North Norfolk is wonderful. I love it here.

She could hire a car.

How ridiculous.
If they are coming on a visit from America an extra drive/train or whatever will make no significant difference to what is already a whole day of travelling.

Really she's actually complaining about adding 1¼ hours on to her journey.

Maybe she should move closer to her "home" airport to "compensate"?

Stansted to Norwich or similar is very very simple and on the bus quite cheap alternatively the train is straightforward to stansted trains now go straight through to Norwich
I m sorry but she cant dictate where you live because she wants you to be on the airport doorstep a couple of times a year

Quite unacceptable in my opinion

Mel25

Hi everyone,
Hoping for some wisdom…my daughter has lived in the US for years and is unlikely to move back here. We live about 45 minutes from Heathrow and Stansted. We are retiring and would like to move nearer friends in Norfolk. My daughter thinks we are being selfish and short sighted as it means she will have a 2 hour + journey by bus (which she says she won’t do) or we have a 4 hour journey there and back to collect her from the airport. Is it wrong to think we have always encouraged her to live her life and we should be ‘allowed’ to choose to live near friends wherever we want? She visits between 1-3 times a year. I don’t want to dismiss her but it would be nice, for once, to please ourselves. If my mum had had similar plans I’d have been delighted for her. Am I missing something? Thank you!

She's lived in the US for many years and is unlikely to return, but thinks you are being selfish because you want to spend your final years where you choose, Norfolk - because it's too far from Heathrow / Stansted?

I'm speechless...

I am surprised because I thought a two hour journey would be nothing to someone who lives in the USA!

NotSpaghetti

How ridiculous.
If they are coming on a visit from America an extra drive/train or whatever will make no significant difference to what is already a whole day of travelling.

Of course you're correct. Many of us drive a few hours often. How is driving distance, less than 10-12 hours important at all?

Along with everyone else I agree that you should just tell her your minds are made up and you are moving. Give her some info on coaches, trains etc and enjoy your new life. 👏👏

Not the same as family but also friends that move away and “ expect” you to “ go visit them” then complain that you haven’t been! Well I’m sorry but your! the ones that wanted to move away, don’t expect me to come running a 2 n half hour journey one way to visit .🙄

Callistemon21

The coach is so easy!
Direct routes from the Central Bus Station at Heathrow.

I did National express once to Lancashire from London , never again, 8 hrs on that coach, hot day banging headache, vomiting.
They stopped at places all along the route, picking up hen parties and the like, absolute nightmare. I will never use a coach again. The train would have taken 2.30hrs. The train I got on at a later datewas comfortable, and served refreshment.

The daughter unfortunately does not want to put herself out. Like I said a train from London to the nearest station and I am sure you could pick her up from the station.
The daughter is selfish, not you. If she states she will not visit Oh well.

But Stansted to Norwich is about 2 hours on a coach Rafiagran and is a very easy journey as is the train and if she was to book her train in advance (or get you to do it mel ) it’s cheaper even than the prices quoted upthread
She’s being a silly sausage she’s chosen to live away and has absolutely no say in what you do with your house or where you choose to live do what you want for you x

Bluebelle silly sausage, what a nice polite way to put it.

rafichagran

Callistemon21

The coach is so easy!
Direct routes from the Central Bus Station at Heathrow.

I did National express once to Lancashire from London , never again, 8 hrs on that coach, hot day banging headache, vomiting.
They stopped at places all along the route, picking up hen parties and the like, absolute nightmare. I will never use a coach again. The train would have taken 2.30hrs. The train I got on at a later datewas comfortable, and served refreshment.

We've caught the coach from Heathrow bus station many times; it goes straight through.

Yours obviously wasn't a Heathrow or Gatwick Express.
The train to here would mean going into London, two changes and someone picking us up at the end.

That’s really interesting to get the other viewpoint. If worse comes to worst, we can meet in Cambridge and have a day there and then head back to Norfolk together. She likes to come and go to see other people in other places but I can’t arrange my life to accommodate her itinerary needs. I wouldn’t ever expect anyone to do that for me.

thank you! She told me lots of reasons the house we like is a really bad choice. We have a second viewing on Sunday so we’ll see….

Off point but really interesting and relevant to us. A good reminder that we need to keep making the effort. Thanks!

Of course Stansted only flies to Orlando - so it obviously depends where she's living anyway if she wants to travel one-hop without any changes.

Mel25

thank you! She told me lots of reasons the house we like is a really bad choice. We have a second viewing on Sunday so we’ll see….

Of course take her thoughts on board - but you may find that they don't seem important to you.

I agree with everyone else here, to look after yourselves and live your life.
We had a similar situation when our son flew into Stansted and wanted picking up. Tell her you could do this if she puts you up at the Radisson Blue for the night to break your journey. The tower bar is amazing. We did this to collect our son by car, but he was a poor student then on his gap year, so we didn’t make him pay!

You really must think of your own needs. Your daughter moved away and has her life. I have always said good friends can be so much more supportive than some family members.

She's a cheeky mare, who does she think she is? You move nearer your friends to enjoy the rest of your lives,

Mel25

thank you! She told me lots of reasons the house we like is a really bad choice. We have a second viewing on Sunday so we’ll see….

There’s a surprise….not!

Go for it, good luck for your next adventure!

Seems to me that there's selfish and there's darned selfish.
What right has she to dictate where you choose to live, based on the convenience to herself when she deigns to pay you a visit?

This is your life; you owe it to yourelves to live it as you choose. It's hard to advise anyone on how to interact with their relatives, let alone an offpsring, but - well - I am open-mouthed over your daughter's frank admission of egocentricity.