Daughter abroad doesn’t want us to move too far from airport

I'm agree with GNs here. It's your life and you must do what's best for you. Your DD moved somewhere to live her own life - and you are entitled to do exactly the same! (You're planning to stay in England - not moving to Timbuctoo.) As others have said, your DD is being selfish. Wishing you every happiness as you move on with your plans.

It is beyond belief that any daughter would make such selfish unreasonable demands on how her parents choose to spend their retirement! I think I would be inclined to tell her not to bother to visit anymore if she finds the small extra journey to Norfolk too much trouble! Happy retirement, Norfolk is beautiful, as is Lincolnshire xx

I think this is your and your hubbys time to do what you want in your twilight years . In my view your daughter is being selfish only thinking of herself . Do want us right for you , even if it means she visits less often . There are always video calls

Absolutely do what you would like to do. Norfolk is a lovely county.

I do hope your daughter can come to the conclusion that you need to do what you need to do to live your life comfortably. As you get older you might find the support of your friends useful especially if you haven't got your daughter living in the same country. It sounds selfish of her but I bet she doesn't see you as needing any support any time soon as she hasn't really thought it through. However selfish it might sound though, listen to her concerns about the house you are thinking of buying to see if they have any merit. The balance between being dismissive and receiving advice gracefully can get skewed when feeling run high. Good luck.

If she only visits 1-3 times a year, it would be a no brainer… My Sister and Brother in Law moved to Suffolk/Norfolk area to be close to one daughter and family. To get to the hospital it’s a couple of hours drive… Another point is moving to be close to a friend/s, I would have liked to have done that… but glad we didn’t… a friend of mine for many years, teenage years, hasn’t spoken since 2020 and no idea why… (Although having spoken to others reckon it could be jealousy of how my Son, DiL and GC are with us - but who knows only she does).

I will agree with your replies.
As you say, your daughter has flown the nest to live abroad. So you go where you want to live, especially as you say you have friends living in Norfolk and may need someone when much older. In the end she may change her mind and appreciate your move.

I have a son who lives in NZ and who came to visit last December. I also live far from a main airport so he arranged to hire a car as I am partially blind so not able to drive to have met him.

So selfish if ur daughter to say that to be honest. If she's capable of getting a transatlantic flight to come back home, I'm sure she can jump on a train in London to get to you.
How about she moves back from America to be near you as you get to the age and stage when you might appreciate her help!
Start talking about what she might do for you to help her appreciate it works both ways.

Another vote for move. I think there will be ways round it when she does come. Maybe an overnight stay when she gets to the uk…..a different airport….something will change because it has to. If it was me I’d explain to her that we have to consider our own happiness at this time of our lives and we can’t live somewhere we don’t want to solely on the basis of a few visits a year. I think perhaps the possible change of circumstances has made her feel a little insecure….but then she did choose to move there in the first place. I’d leave your decision with her and in time, she’ll probably get used to the idea.

I would first find out what your daughter's anxieties really are. Then do the usual child reassurance based on your 45 years practice, then get straight on to the agents and go for it. You deserve your retirement, as do we all, as will she when her time comes.

That’s so selfish - what about wanting what’s best for you

Her decision to live where she chooses and your decision to live where you choose. She is being very selfish to suggest you should live in a place more convenient for her on her annual visits.

As a lurker, we have a friend who is a citizen of the US, but his family are based in Norfolk. He flys in to Norwich from the States via Amsterdam, it’s not a problem and he’s nearly 80 too, so you move to wherever suits you.
Her choice her problem.

I think it’s your time to do what you want to do. She made her choice now you make yours! Good luck!

Hope the viewing goes well!

What? No you’re not selfish but your daughter is! She wants you to stay near an airport to convenience her 1-3 times a year? Really? Good grief. Move nearer to your friends and live your life how you want it. If she can’t be arsed to get on a coach, train or whatever 1-3 times a year that’s her choice. If you want to do the long drive to pick her up that your choice. If her objections are based on the long flight being tiring plus then hours on more public transport she could overnight at an airport hotel before continuing. You can’t live the rest of your life for her convenience!! Selfish of her indeed.

Hi, I’ve a son, daughter in law and grandchildren in USA, I live in Norfolk a three hour drive from Heathrow, the drives a pain but my son wouldn’t dream of asking me to move nearer to an airport, your long term health and happiness come before anything else

I think your dayghter does not have the right to decide where you live. Yes, we have a daughter abroad too. She also visits 1 to 3 times a year. She was used to travelling home from the Eurostar trainstation to where we live on her own, now she has two small children we go up and meet her. When she decided to go and live far(ther) from home she knew what she was in for, we talked about it. Just like your daughter "she made her bed and now she has to sleep in it" but then in a good way 😊

Do what you need to do for you.
Live your life for you
When do you think its time to do you...

How selfish of your daughter to simply think about herself. You do what's best for you:-)

When we travel to visit our daughter we go by train, it’s really easy once you get to the station. Straight from the train to the underground at either Liverpool St. from Norwich or Kings Cross from Kings Lynn.
Alternatively she could fly to Norwich via Schiphol.

i have agonised over the past few years whether to move to be near my son and family who moved to ireland.I have a son and his family near ,so that made things tricky.Not until someone said' what do i really want' did my thoughts become less jumbled.I don't have any pressure from my family, but what was happening to me at least ,was that my head and heart were conflicted.Like lots of said ,your daughter was the one who moved, im inclined to say the selfish so and so.do what is good for you.

Trains go right from the airport. Yes, it is a bit of a hassle with luggage, but so be it.
I lived in several different countries and I NEVER expected my parents to live near an airport for my convenience. I've had a much longer journey home taking the train, sometimes hiring a car to be mobile around their place.
You are not selfish in wishing to move and I hope your daughter can eventually see this. There is also very reasonable taxi transport from the airports so she doesn't need to make that much effort and can travel in style.

PS: meant to say, she could book a taxi from the airport to wherever you are in Norfolk. When I travel to or from Heathrow from Lincolnshire, I book a local taxi, costs about £300 round trip but worth every penny, especially when I have heavy luggage. I have the same driver every time (one man business!) and he is wonderful, always makes sure I am safely booked in at my flight desk before he leaves me, and never overcharges for waiting/parking etc.

Hi
I’m going to say exactly the same as most of us: move and live wherever you want to live! Even on the moon! Your daughter has chosen her life she cannot and must not expect you not to live where you want to be!
How selfish can she be? No blackmail, no threats!
Live your lives as you see fit and good luck to you