AIBU or do I need to move with the times?

I walked to school and back when I was five! We did go as a group mostly, with some older children. We walked through some open country near a football stadium and had one fairly busy road to cross. However this was in the 60s when traffic was lighter.

theworriedwell I'm not sure that's true. It depends where you lived in terms of being in a gang of kids in the 60s.

I never walked home from school with anyone and once in secondary school had to go on a bus alone and still walk without company.

NotSpaghetti

theworriedwell I'm not sure that's true. It depends where you lived in terms of being in a gang of kids in the 60s.

I never walked home from school with anyone and once in secondary school had to go on a bus alone and still walk without company.

You weren't necessarily "with" someone but there were lots of pedestrians round schools as I honestly don't remember anyone being driven to primary school in the late 50s early 60s.

I was frequently not with a gang or with friends but there were lots of kids and plenty of mums with the younger ones.

Maybe it was different if you lived somewhere remote.

I certainly walked to school on my own at the age of 9, but we didn't have afterschool activities and as most children walked and it was a village I think it was fairly safe.. but I notice in the area I now live in Brighton that children are either driven or taken by their parents even at the age of nine.. maybe social media has made a difference to how parents feel about safety..
When my son was 9 and we were living in an inner city area and he wanted to walk home from school I arranged for an older boy to walk with him.. they became good friends.
it does as other posters say depend very much on the child and the area.. but I would not be happy with the idea of a nine year old walking alone in the dark wherever they lived.

Trouble is that it doesn’t really matter what you think, her parents will make the decision and you will just have to support them all! Good luck.

I don't know about moving with the times Sarnia. Surely, as others have said, you were allowed much more freedom when you were your GD's age? I certainly was! It is good that she wants the independence, and I'm sure her parents will make sure she is ready.

Another here who thinks it depends on the route and the area and other children but definitely a yes being collected in the dark after the late leaving of school due to activities

Don’t walk with your gd to and fro from school or dd could think you are overriding her. It is for the parents to make the decision at the end of the day.

I know it’s a worry and you have told your dd so. Now you have to sit back difficult as that may be. If it’s any help when my DD’s were at school they weren’t allowed to do cycling proficiency until they were 9 as that is the age they become spatially aware.

I did walk to school from when I was 10 but my parents could see from the top of the drive to the school I took my brother who is 16 months younger than me this was to infants and junior school . This was 1968.

We had to walk across field to get to the highschool . There is no way I would have let my children do that . But it was a different age .

When my daughter was going to high school she walked to school and took her brother to primary school there where no main roads to cross and the schools where in the next road to eachother. And there where always other children and parents walking the same route. No after school clubs in those days my children are 41 and 37.
There is a lot more traffic on the roads today and no way would I let my children walk to school at aged 9.

But it's the parents choice as grandparents have no say . We just have to keep our mouths shut and worry in silence .

I'm just so glad I don't have to make these decisions any more....

I would need more details about the walk before deciding.
There are roads and roads.
Areas and areas.
Distance
How well lit? etc

When I was that age I often walked home across the fields or lanes depending on how I felt but I appreciate that todays young people are now in a world with possible danger at every angle.
My own children [now parents themselves] had a shorter walk than I ever had so it was easy for them to come home on their own - but together.
It's sad that children can't be as free these days but I agree that they are in a different setting these days.

So much depends on the route but in principle I'd let her do it and set out from home to meet her halfway.

Always remember my best friend telling me she crossed London on a train daily at the age of 8 to go to school.

Kim19 At the ages of 8 and 10 respectively my sister and I got a bus from down the road to the main ferry, caught the ferry and then caught another bus for a long ride to school. On the bus we usually met school friends who had made simmilar journeys.

This was in Hong Kong in the 1950s. During the typhoon season, once the cones for a Force 5 typhoon went up we had to go home. My parents were both Londoners and had been so used to travelling all round London on their own from a very young age, it never occurred to them not to do this with us.

I am sure many others will be like me and think back to when we went to school . I walked to school by myself from 6 it was a long way . At 7 I would come home to change and go to Brownies still a good way back into town . I did this in the dark and it was the same for all my friends. I am surprised at a school telling parents when their children are allowed to walk to school alone . I know my DCG are different from when I was young but really what is different ?

you don't say where she is going to when she leaves school? If she is going to her own home to her parents, then I am not sure why she asked your opinion? If she is walking to yours then could you suggest that you walk to meet her at an agreed spot gradually getting nearer to your home and further from the school until she walks all the way?

Floradora9

I am sure many others will be like me and think back to when we went to school . I walked to school by myself from 6 it was a long way . At 7 I would come home to change and go to Brownies still a good way back into town . I did this in the dark and it was the same for all my friends. I am surprised at a school telling parents when their children are allowed to walk to school alone . I know my DCG are different from when I was young but really what is different ?

what is different is the law on who is responsible. Schools are now more responsible for what happens to children on the way to and from school.

Would her parents agree to her having a phone which justs texts and makes calls for her to use in an emergency? It might put your mind at rest and also make her feel more confident.

Having said that, I used to walk to and from school at age 9, but I guess times were different then.

TBH I think I’d be a mite more concerned nowadays about senior school kids with smartphones - walking alone glued to them, paying attention to nothing else. Especially if they’ve not been allowed by the school to have them at all during the day.

From maybe 20 yards away I once had to positively scream at a girl from a local girls’ senior school - she was probably 13 ish - so glued to her phone that she had started to cross at a zebra crossing (no traffic lights) without looking at all - a dreadful accident was missed by a whisker.

Walking along, not alone!

At aged 6 I was walking to and from school in London, a 20 min walk with my younger sister, crossing two ( not very busy) roads and a canal bridge, this was the 50s, however no after school clubs so we were home by 4pm, it did teach us independence. I’d be inclined to walk the route a few times, what roads are like, houses she could knock at for help and most of all company to walk home with, it’s natural to think of worst case scenario but we need to teach our children to be streetwise too.

Sadly times have changed. There is no such thing as communities anymore. When we want home from school everyone knew who your parents were and kept a safe eye on each other's children without even thinking about it. If you had done something wrong parent's knew about it before you reached home. It is different times now people live side by side for years and never get to know their neighbour. 9 is young, I would not allow my children the freedom today as we had when we were younger. It would depend on the child, who they are walking with and how far they would have walk. It is the parents decision. I would not allow my child to walk home in the dark alone.

Those decisions are for the parents to make. If my daughter asks me that question in a year’s time then I will decide not to get involved.

When my DD was that age, I waved her off at the door, then followed at a distance to the school gates.
Then at finishing time, I waited at a distance from the school gates, until I saw her, then walked back home, stopping and checking she was OK, every few yards until she got home. She never saw me or knew I was there.