Friends without GC

Yes. Similar.
My mother's cousin. She loved me but was full of sadness about not having children right up to the end.
No regular photos involved really as WhatsApp not around.

As a young mum, when my mum died I understood even more how difficult things were for her. I sent her flowers "thinking of you especially today" when it was Mother's day.
This became more important when she was living in a residential home and all the other women seemed to have flowers.

You can't do that for her as a friend but my mum's cousin was very close (and a different generation). She said I was like the daughter she never had.

I would hold off the WhatsApp images and just show her if she asks.
She may be just wanting you to be happy - and may be asking about your grandchildren out of friendship.

With close friends - ask - some of ours love to share the joy of GCs, having been close to our kids when younger.
With sloghtly more distant friends, hold off until you get some sort of hint.

Yes , there isn’t a time scale of sadness through being unable to have children . I have a friend who couldn’t have children and she felt it badly when myself and other friends had kids and she’s going through it again with the GC . I don’t have GC yet and I find some grans are very full on with photos etc . Read the room is the way to go .

You were not being unreasonable Franski as you hadn't realised that this would be upsetting.

Our family and friends don't send us photo's of their GC because we're estranged from our youngest son and as a result, our only GC.

We do ask after their families which of course includes their GC and appreciate any information about GC being kept to a minimum.

I've lost a friend due to this issue. Someone who hasn't been able to find a partner and is now therefore having to face never having a family.

The resentment towards me having sons, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren and obviously spending time with them grew too big. The rift just grew over the years.

My next door but one neighbour (on the left) has no children or GC. So I very rarely talk about my GC. On the other hand, the neighbour on the right, has no other topic except her GC. It’s a constant struggle to steer her on to another subject 😂

It's the same principle with each of our particular satisfactions whether its a wedding, a lovely house, a super car, whatever best not to parade them to the have-nots.

I assume nobody apart from family have any interest in our GC/ GGC/ GGGC - I don't talk of them to others - just safe boring topics (garden, weather, travel, cooking, etc). Easy.

I met an old school friend at a reunion. She told me she had seven grandchildren. I have four and was just about to show her their photos when she told me categorically that "other people's grandchildren are very boring"!

I wouldn't dream of sending random pictures of my grandchildren to anybody.

I have only done this ilovecheese if specifically requested.

I rarely send photos of gc to people.
For a variety of reasons.
I sometimes do wonder what they think about that.

Grandparents whose only interest seems to be their grandchildren are some of the worst bores.
And to inflict the topic of grandchildren on the childless is downright insensitive.

I am careful with friends who don't have GCs and unlikely to have any for various reasons. I would only show a photo if asked. I am interested in and love all my GCs but realise that not everybody is. We have plenty to chat about without talking much about our families.

I only share phone photos, no social media. Only with very close friends that I know will appreciate them and only if they are something particular like a funny photo.

Your friend is simply showing interest in your family - if she has known you a long time she probably feels as if she knows them if you often talk about them. You're not to blame for not realising she is still hurting - most of us probably assume that something is no longer an issue if people stop talking about it. You know how she feels now. Just stop sending them and find something interesting to send her instead so she still receives something.

"other people's grandchildren are very boring"!

Your friend wasn't wrong varian, other people's grandchildren are never as clever, talented, beautiful or loving as our own so it's pointless discussing them. I never show anyone photos of my grandchildren and have zero interest in seeing anyone else's.

I do think it’s a bit insensitive. One of my daughters can’t have children. She’s wonderful with her nephews and nieces , but I know it still hurts, so although we chat about them at times, I’m carful that I don’t overdo it, and would never show her photos etc unless she asked to see them. In fact I never show photos to anyone unless they specifically ask to see them. It’s a bit showy offy to me.

I wouldn’t send anything about my GCs (now adult) to any friend that didn’t have children/GCs, unless they asked.

I tend to share other stuff with friends and have a laugh about other things.

My ACs and GCs are just a part of my life - not all of it.🤷‍♀️

Varian, I love people to say outright how they feel. How else can we be true friends unless we are acceptable warts and all.

I don’t think any of my friends would be particularly interested in my gc. Most don’t know them any more that I know theirs. Only one of my two has children, who have grown so fast we are no longer involved in their day to day life so I joined a few clubs to fill the the extra free time I have.

I never ask people if they have children. I cant imagine how hard it must be to really want a child and not be able to. I spent a lot of time avoiding a neighbour who talks incessantly about her genius son which he is not.. Mine are grown and flown and so have my gc. They have lives of their own and no one else is interested in countless photos and tales of them. I have never posted a picture of any of my family and wouldn't one posted of me.

Norah

I assume nobody apart from family have any interest in our GC/ GGC/ GGGC - I don't talk of them to others - just safe boring topics (garden, weather, travel, cooking, etc). Easy.

This - except maybe a passing comment if its relevant!

I try to temper my conversations with friends and family with no GC. There is a world of other things to talk about!

My sister has only one son who is gay, and my other sister has grown children very unlikely to have children as well, so while i briefly will keep them up to date, I won't go on and on about my family.

I can’t remember ever showing photos of my grandchildren to anybody unless they asked first, I think I’ve just assumed they wouldn’t be that interested!