Entitled or is it just me, a generational thing maybe.

Agree with Miss Adventure 100 per cent

Quizzer I like the sound of half birthdays. Shoulddobetta your daughter could message her “good friend” back and suggest doing a half birthday each June , so that her baby doesn’t miss out, and presents are more evenly spaced out over the year. Maybe be the baby’s mother is trying to put her foot down right from the start as she doesn’t want her child to miss out. It does come across as rather entitled. No I don’t think you’re being over sensitive.
Nansypansy sorry for your loss 💐

DD3 has an early January birthday. Always two presents - she used to call herself the sales baby. Party in January. When she was young we had a special day out in June and sometimes a summer or outdoorsy present that a 6 yrold wouldn’t thank you for in January.

...only if you promise to send me a gift for Easter and my Saint Feast Day... as well as for Christmas and my birthday, of course.

@Newatthis I did get a card to share with my daughter, some years ago, [birthdays 2 days apart] and yes, I told the sender not to bother sending cards, because we don't appreciate them, and to donate the money to her favourite charity... I don't know whether she does, but she never sent us a card again.

You shouldn't need to be told. Give a birthday present and separate christmas present.

My birthday is a couple of days before Christmas and I remember being given a pair of slippers as my birthday/Christmas gift. I think your friend has been a little clumsy and I wouldn’t have included a list but I do understand the sentiment behind it!

You aren’t being oversensitive and I hope it isn’t the way forward. Such rudeness might be a bit understandable if the child was older as it’s a bit harsh for them to miss out on one of those occasions just because they’re close together. But also it is very ungrateful and assumes that two presents at once is affordable. For a first birthday, I think I’d ignore the list if need be and give two smaller things and just wrap them separately.

I think it's OK to produce a list IF and ONLY if it's been asked for otherwise it's crass. I can also understand when a child is older that they would feel they'd missed out if they didn't have the usual birthday celebrations especially if they have a sibling with a different birth date.
Maybe daughter's friend is just thinking of the future when child is older and is being extra 'precious' with her first child and phrased it very badly? have to say my first reaction would be not to send a gift at all but of course I would end up giving 2 presents but probably not from the list!

My dd has a birthday in very early January, and so far as I can remember always had a separate cards and presents from family and we would never have presumed to tell them that separate presents and cards should be sent. Mind you she probably only sent one Thank You letter!

My DS received a gift registry from his friend for his forthcoming baby’s birth gift and the same for the child’s 1st birthday. When I was pregnant I was grateful for anything we were given, how times have changed.

MissAdventure

I could tell you I think the friend is a rude cow, but I'm not sure how well that would be received.
So I won't.

Thinking the same myself!

My son's birthday is less than close to Christmas but he mostly got separate presents, though I wouldn't have been offended by one. A lot depends on whether you are visiting for both occasions. My late mum always gave cash so we could spend appropriately when her GC were young and she coudn't always be there as she lived at the other end of the country. My in-laws insisted on giving personally wrapped gifts so we often gave them an idea what to get but still someties ended up with something inappropriate. Sometimes we kept some of mum's money for a later occasion such as when they needed a big item like a new bike. Now DS is an adult I rarely see him in person on his birthday so he usually gets one big present at Christmas, or whenever we see him, as sometimes he is with his in-laws for Christmas and we have a get together another time.

For a one year old who won't know what it's all about it is a ridiculous requirement. I'd be tempted to get something with 2 parts and wrap one for the birthday and the other for Christmas just to make a point. But I don't think I know anyone who would be so rude so I wouldn't need to be rude myself!

My youngest DGS has a birthday a week before Christmas and we always make sure his birthday is celebrated just the same as his two brothers, its not his fault his birthday is near Christmas! and he deserves to have his special day just as if he was a spring baby( as his two older brothers are) so its 100% a case of two gifts in separate paper and a proper cake with balloons and banners. We are having his birthday party in the New year though as we have found in previous years the guest turn out was low because of Christmas.

My Mum, birthday 28 December, remembered her disappointment as a child at only receiving one present, so I can understand why parents feel sensitive about this.

However, in my opinion, it is wrong and quite rude to start stipulating when and what presents should be be given. If a person asks for such information, that is OK but not otherwise.

My friends sons birthday was Xmas Day. He got money for Xmas and wrapped present for his birthday from us every year. I think this mother has a right nerve to dictate what people should give her one year old! But this child is her pride and joy and there is no other baby like him or her!!! All reason and manners go out the window!!!

My son, born just before Christmas, also used to get gifts wrapped in Christmas paper as someone said above.

It's not very kind, whatever is actually in it, in my mind.

I now have a grandchild born on that same day and I always go out of my way to make the birthday gift special for her. Her Christmas present can be smaller (if necessary) as the whole family is likely to be awash with gifts.

The message stated that on no account should a joint present be given, ie birthday/Christmas combined but 2 separate ones, along with a list of suitable gifts.

Did the message use those particular words Shoulddobetta?

Or was that the interpretation?

I like having a list of ideas BTW. It means my gift won't end up in the charity shop!

MissAdventure

I could tell you I think the friend is a rude cow, but I'm not sure how well that would be received.
So I won't.

made me chuckle

Wheniwasyourage

I know a Christmas baby who had an Official Birthday (like the Queen) in January, so had 2 separate presents and a date for a party some years, just like everyone else in the family. Happy Birthday X was always the first greeting on Christmas Day, then Happy Christmas to everyone.

What a great idea!!!

My adored cousin was born on Boxing Day, and we were always made sure it was celebrated as a normal birthday with separate gifts. When I had children of my own, I think if one of them had a birthday so near Christmas I would pick a date in the middle of the year and have an Official Birthday, a bit like the Queen. It’s very difficult to have a special day just for you in the Christmas season.

It could have been handled better but I personally am completely happy to accept suggestions /wish lists for gifts & ask for them from my adult children and their families, it’s much better than second guessing and wasting money on gifts that they don’t want.
As for combining Christmas and birthday presents unless the parents &/or recipient ask for it to be done that’s a definite no no, and should be discouraged from the get go as the child will believe that they aren’t worthy to have their birthday celebrated as a separate entity

Entitled generation is all I can say !
Unbelievable ~

Fully understand identifying a birthday from a Christmas gift but at 1 year old a bit OTT. In fact the whole set of instructions is ridiculous.

Our youngest child was born 45years ago on Christmas Eve. I never told anyone what presents to buy but I did insist on a present for his birthday and a present for Christmas. Why should he get a “ combined “ present. His brother and sister always got birthday and Christmas presents so he had the same. It still holds to this day. It’s only fair .

A friend told me that her sister has asked her to personally distribute presents to nieces and nephews as last year some of the presents she sent were sold before the children saw them. The mother said they needed the money for food.

No, you are not being hypersensitive! Your DD’s (daughter’s? - I don’t know what else DD could mean) friend is being rather rude and cheeky, I believe.

A Christmas selection box should suffice for a baby aged 1 and a small toy such as a furry teddy or animal would be ideal for its birthday. Or something cuddly that you have knitted/crocheted or sewn. I would even make it special home-made birthday and Christmas cards (however, I’m an artist and crafter so I enjoy doing things like that).

It’s not mean to do such things - a 1 year old will have more fun playing with the wrappers and boxes than the actual gifts and after all, they don’t really understand what’s going on at that age!