Entitled or is it just me, a generational thing maybe.

Wendy

My birthday is in April and DH’s is in August. My mil always gave us a join present on his birthday !

This is unbelievable!
🤨

I hope she was nicer in other respects!

Smileless2012

^on no account ....^ isn't a suggestion it's an order instruction.

But as I asked earlier - is this a quote?

Exactly theworriedwell - but the OP hasn't come back to clarify that.

In the OP is says The message stated that on no account should a joint present be given it is that I was referring too NotSpagehetti as not being a suggestion.

Well I think a lot of you are in agreement in that it was the message and how it was worded that wound me up.
Its no problem to buy 2 separate presents, but don't like being dictated to as to what to buy

I don' blame you Shoulddobetta, neither do I.

I would, for anyone, no matter the age, separate a birthday and Xmas.

But, I wouldn't be messaging like this.🤷‍♀️

Shoulddobetta

Well I think a lot of you are in agreement in that it was the message and how it was worded that wound me up.
Its no problem to buy 2 separate presents, but don't like being dictated to as to what to buy

So did she suggest suitable presents or did she say they had to be from the list? Although to be honest I'd far rather buy something that was wanted rather than the 10th Teddy or the 6th pull along toy. Shame to buy something that is going to end up in the charity shop or just shoved on a shelf. I can remember being inundated with cuddly toys when I had my first when there were other things that would have been more appropriate.

MissAdventure

I could tell you I think the friend is a rude cow, but I'm not sure how well that would be received.
So I won't.

Agree with you!

I too have a birthday on the 30th Dec…always had one present only. Always school hols over Xmas so no school friends to share with.
I guess money was tight in the 40’s
I can now afford to buy what I want.
I think it’s just a bad time of year, it would be nice like the Royals to have an alternative in summer.

Our family like OH and myself to send a list of what we'd like. My sons get money for Xmas and so do 2 DGC
Daughter and the other DGC send a list to choose from.
This suits our family.

What a blooming cheek ...It would put Me off buying a present all together ...rude madam 🤨

Altogether 😃

Oh I do hope we wouldn't punish a small child for having a forthright parent

Forthright or downright rude.

Or rather sensible in the days of too much plastic nonsense that may not get any use

Just the two lots of wrapping paper and cards...

Luminance I think it gives some an excuse to buy nothing when they were planning on getting away with one present. Saves money and a good excuse for indignation.

As you say it's sensible, why waste time and money on something they have or don't need just get something they will use or give them money which ensures it's your budget and useful for them.

Most grown ups don't need instructions on how to buy presents, though.

Most who were going to buy one, would have obviously spent more, so "getting away" doesn't come into it.

No people don't always pay more if they just buy one present. Anyone with birthdays can tell you that. We never had it with people we were close to but yes there were some.

As for instructions we live in a world where many people have lots of stuff, how do you know what would be a waste of money for that baby and what would be really useful?

By being given suggestions.
Well, at least that's how it always worked for us.

theworriedwell

Luminance I think it gives some an excuse to buy nothing when they were planning on getting away with one present. Saves money and a good excuse for indignation.

As you say it's sensible, why waste time and money on something they have or don't need just get something they will use or give them money which ensures it's your budget and useful for them.

Undoubtedly. Taking offence requires much less thought on some parts. Once done, rather difficult to take back too it seems, even at the risk of souring relationships.

Miss Adventure, well ,' said ' couldn't agree more . Your post made me smile. ☺️

MissAdventure

By being given suggestions.
Well, at least that's how it always worked for us.

That's what has happened isn't it? The mother has given a list of suitable presents i.e. suggestions.

There are two issues here though, one is a list of suggestions for gifts and the other is that ^on no account should a joint gift be given^; the latter is not a suggestion, it's an order.