Not

I wouldn't have asked my Mum if she was on holiday. It wasn't as if the Mum couldn't fetch him either, it just would have taken longer than just driving to the hospital. Grandma would have to drive to school, get grandson put in car, drive to hospital. That imo would take about an hour and then there is the return journey back

btw I would have gone to the school and fetched him but I'm far too soft for my own good sometimes

Well I would have dropped everything for one of my grandchildren in trouble

They may have been on holiday but it was not in the pacific ocean they were nearer than anyone else and she’s down as the contact so she should have gone or before going on holiday let the school and the daughter know that she wouldn’t be available for a week or whatever the duration of the holiday was
Poor young chap everyone too busy

Allira

And?

It would matter not, they were nearer than they normally are.

Irrelevant. They were taking a much-needed break and the parent should have had other emergency plans in place.

I sympathise with you. It often very difficult to please everybody.

Apart from your DD and GS, you had to consider DH who is not related to DD or GS and yourself as a nervous driver on unfamiliar roads.

It is all very well for the chorus of disapproval to criticise they are not you and they didn't have to face your dilemma. Maybe, with hindsight, you might have made the wrong decision that is for you to decide.

I wouldn't ask my parents or my in-laws to collect my child for something like a cold/illness etc, I'd make the way there myself, but for something as serious as suspected broken ankle and them being closer to the school than I was, I'd like to think they'd collect their grandkid and take him to the hospital.
I can see why your daughter is a bit off.

I might have questioned the rights and wrongs of it afterwards, but I would been straight there, twenty minutes away is nothing, I’m not sure I’m totally understanding this, why are you on holiday only twenty minutes away?

Well I'm with you in this. If your phone had been switched off, you'd never have known.
I blame mobile phones!

As it was GS was OK, thankfully.
Little you can do about it now Sparkly but let the dust settle and get on with life.
She, DD, will probably come round.

In your place I would have dropped everything to help an injured grandchild but in that moment perhaps you couldn't think straight?

Oldnproud

pascal30

I wonder if you should continue as the emergency phone contact.. what did you think the responsibilities of that were?

As I read it, the OP's responsibility was agreed to for normal circumstances, when at home, not when she was on holiday. It was the parent's responsibility to have other plans in place for if the grandparents were not available, not the OP's.

They were nearer than they usually were when st home.

Would a school accept a grandparent who lives two hours away as an emergency contact?

If the OP normally lives 2 hours away I’m surprised the school had her as a contact in the first place. Had she not been on holiday in the vicinity the child’s mother would presumably have had to go to the school herself which I think she should have done, or made arrangements with the childminder. Though I also think the school might have taken the boy to A&E and waited for his mother there since the accident happened on school premises.
I can see why the OP felt she was being used. Had it been me I would’ve gone, but then I might have been the one feeling cool about the Easter arrangements.
Some posters talk as though the boy was younger and the accident more serious than was the case.

JaneJudge

btw I would have gone to the school and fetched him but I'm far too soft for my own good sometimes

Same here, but I can see that being on a much need holiday throws a spanner in the works.
Surely the school should have arranged for him to be driven to A&E for an xray?
I don’t think your DD should be doing things like a malicious tit for tat by cancelling Easter plans with you btw.
If you’re two hours away normally then it’s no good really the school having you down as a go to contact is it?

rafichagran

I would have gone, I could not see my Granchild in pain. Why are you the emergency contact when you live 2 hours away from your daughter?
I would ask your daughter to take uou off as the contact with the School.

I used to live in the town I was visiting on holiday. We moved further away about 7 months ago and I suppose she hasn’t updated the emergency contacts.

I can’t see the point in taking a stand over this. Surely having made your decision you spent the rest of the evening worrying about him, and questioning your decision, so I don’t imagine you had a very pleasant evening.

I wouldn’t like any of my grandchildren to think I couldn’t be bothered to take them to hospital because I had a meal booked

From how it reads they were in a hotel and had booked for dinner. It sounds like a much needed treat. Grandparents are allowed to have them too.

Oh, we are allowed treats, bring them on!

But I would have not enjoyed my evening either.

We would have gone, and there would have been no discussion about it, a call for help when a grandchild is injured, possibly with a broken limb would have had us jumping in the car and setting the satnav.
But we are not all the same, and am not going to sit in judgement on this one knowing that we can never know the true context of something.
To the OP I imagine you feel really bad about this which is why you keep posting about it. Try sending an email or letter once this has had a chance to blow over, saying how bad you felt after what happened with your GC, but don't try to justify your actions, tbh an apology would work much better.
Hoping you all manage to sort this out.

Allira

Oldnproud

pascal30

I wonder if you should continue as the emergency phone contact.. what did you think the responsibilities of that were?

As I read it, the OP's responsibility was agreed to for normal circumstances, when at home, not when she was on holiday. It was the parent's responsibility to have other plans in place for if the grandparents were not available, not the OP's.

They were nearer than they usually were when st home.

Would a school accept a grandparent who lives two hours away as an emergency contact?

They were nearer than usual, yes, but they were on holiday, which the daughter would have known in advance, and as the OP said, her husband had had a drink and she herself isn't a confident driver, and she might not have known the roads very well from where they were staying.
Plus 20 minutes "as the crow flies" does not mean that it was only a 20 minute drive either.

It does seem slightly odd that a school would accept someone who lives two hours away as an emergency contact. However, it is just to be hoped that in a genuine emergency they would call an ambulance!

JaneJudge, don’t disagree, but I still think there would be little pleasure in your meal, if you were worried about your grandson, and whether you’d make a right decision.

An ambulance would take hours (3+) here for something like that

Oldnproud

Allira

And?

It would matter not, they were nearer than they normally are.

Irrelevant. They were taking a much-needed break and the parent should have had other emergency plans in place.

And DD and the DGC will be having a much-needed break at Easter, I hope.

I wrote somewhere else - we used to live much closer but about 7 months ago we moved further away. She hasn’t updated it yet clearly and her being a single mother (her ex unfortunately passed away when the youngest was 1, but they had already split) means she probably doesn’t know who else to put.

JaneJudge

An ambulance would take hours (3+) here for something like that

3 hours? 😯
That's quick!

You might be lucky to get one at all on the same day here.

It may well be that his mother should have made better arrangements, but she didn’t. So what do we do? Just leave a child in pain? Doesn’t feel right to me.

The Father has a good excuse then, I'm sorry.

Nothing much to add except that even when we lay down boundaries we need very thick skin to keep them. I suppose your DD feels that you were a safety net that didn't catch her when she needed it. There don't seem to be any reliable men in this scenario. I hope as mum.and daughter you can get over this quickly and build trust again. Sympathies though. It's hard to be pulled every which way x