Friends who "disappear" ;

Maybe they found a daily chat a bit too much?

Never go on a long holiday with friends. I once went away with one only for a few days and came back unsure if I could ever bear being in the same room with her again...

I only once went on holiday with friends and it was a disaster that took a while to get right. Please back off and give them some space. All that contact and I can see why they feel claustrophobic.

In my youth my ex and I used to drive round Europe every summer in a Morris 1000 Traveller. One year two friends came with us ( how we all fitted in with our camping gear is beyond me). I think we reached the point of wanting to throttle each other. Not helped by the fact that we were driving around in a car that, by modern standards, had no brakes. Not sure how the friendship survived, but it did.

A long cruise holiday might be a clue, sometimes offence can be taken even if none was intended. A long cruise gives plenty of opportunity to get irritated. As for daily WhatsApp chats thats a lot.
Leave them alone for now, they are good friends so all should be ok but if there is no contact you can ask them if anything is wrong.

I haven't experienced this myself but I know that other friends holidaying together has ended in a sad fallout. I think sometimes we like people better when we don't know everything about them.

I'm sorry your friendship has come to this, it must hurt

Hey maybee our 68 year old MM1000 has never let us down, and it has good brakes. But, woukdnt fancy driving around Europe in it. A trip to the coast is as far as I can bear. Dh loves it though.

Not every body thinks every casual text or whatsapp demands a response.

Thanks everyone, some good advice there. We have left them alone and been no contact now for six weeks. The daily WhatsApp thing was something we had all done for about 8 years, so it feels strange not to do that anymore. Also they always wanted to know exactly what we were doing, so it wasn't one sided, it was more them than us. So we will let them be and see what happens.

We would drive up mountains in it and pass all the fancy cars that couldn’t cope! When we filled up in garages people would point to her incredulously saying ‘Baum’. After I’d learned to drive in her, when I was a passenger in another car my foot would be going for the brake wondering why the driver was leaving it so late. It was a sad day when she eventually failed an MOT and was beyond help. My ex had actually bought a welding kit to keep her going; he became so proficient at it that the garage offered him a job. She went on to provide spares for another Moggie. I still have her number plate.

A daily chat does have the potential to be claustrophobic. I would hate it. However, each to their own.

Could it be that the couple have been finding that level of contact too much for a while but have only just plucked up the courage to tell you, fearing that you would be upset?

I think that before totally abandoning a long-standing friendship, I would try to work out whether the friendship has genuinely run its course, or if it might be saved by simply not being in such close contact all the time.

MayBee70

We would drive up mountains in it and pass all the fancy cars that couldn’t cope! When we filled up in garages people would point to her incredulously saying ‘Baum’. After I’d learned to drive in her, when I was a passenger in another car my foot would be going for the brake wondering why the driver was leaving it so late. It was a sad day when she eventually failed an MOT and was beyond help. My ex had actually bought a welding kit to keep her going; he became so proficient at it that the garage offered him a job. She went on to provide spares for another Moggie. I still have her number plate.

My first car was a Morris 1000 when I was 17. It's the only car I ever made a profit on - bought for £25 and sold for £45! (It was 56 years ago...!)

Sorry to derail your thread Jampanda

Daily chat ? Too much. I’d feel claustrophobic ,too. Weekly maybe ?

No worries, it's very interesting xx

It does make me appreciate my DH if going away with others he actually is the only person I can holiday with ! We occasionally holiday with BiL and SiL but tgats all really . SiL brought her widowed DB last time and that wascreally a bit much . Like he's OK but not to go on a holiday with ! Probably it all got a bit much. For them .A shame really when theyve been good friends of yours for so long . But c'est la vie .

After being on holiday with them it would have been better to forgo daily chats for a while. You can get too much of a good thing.
I would just leave them to get in touch with you if they want to continue the friendship.

Daily WhatsApps sound too much . I’d find it claustrophobic.
Was something said on your long holiday that your friends took offence ? And are now backing off. I’d leave them be for a while .

Far too much contact IMO. And after one tense holiday with friends many years ago I vowed never to do it again, and I haven’t……..too much of a liability.

It is a risk, and quite common for good friends to fall out after a holiday. We have only ever been away with two couples and so far so good. Off to the West Country with them in a week, heres to sunshine

We have often had holidays with friends when the children were young, 3 families together. We all had boys of various ages and always rented big houses with more than enough rooms and gardens. A bonus if they had a games room.
The ground rules were well discussed before hand, as was the ‘Kitty’ for food. The drinks shopping was sorted by the Dads.
After the children grew up we would sometimes go to the same places, but always had our own accommodation. All still friends.
We have some friends that are lovely, but I’d never go on holiday with them.

Jampanda
You say that you all came down with a nasty germ after the cruise. Was this Covid as this is very rife on cruises? Is it possible that your friends had it rather badly and have not really felt up to communicating? Or maybe they are still very poorly. If I were you I wouldn’t want to lose such long standing friends so easily, so I would have one more attempt by sending a message to say something like: “We have been rather worried about you as we haven’t heard from you for so long, are you both OK healthwise? Otherwise we really hope that we haven’t inadvertently upset you in some way, if so we are truly sorry and would not want it to affect our friendship, which we have always highly valued. However, if you just feel that our friendship has run its course, we will understand, but we will always think of you with affection.”

Of course you will want to put this in your own words.
I hope it helps

They have already stated that they feel claustrophobic, they couldn’t be clearer, I think you just have to accept that the friendship is over.

Could you phone them and ask if they are OK? Perhaps say sorry if we have upset you , it wasn't our intention. Could they have just replied at an off moment and not meant to be hurtful?

I wouldn't want a daily chat on what's app personally.