Friends who "disappear" ;

I can understand how that has happened, but I would send literally a couple of lines on the “chat” every, say, six weeks just saying hi and leave it at that. If they don’t respond after a few months, you’ll know it’s over. It’s a shame but I guess that on a ship you can’t really have separate days out 😬 … Hope it works out.

🤣😂 ... yes have been thinking about this whilst planning to book hols with friends 🤩

Am I being ghosted?
I have a friend who I used to meet up with every one or two months for lunch or just a coffee. The last time we met was back in September last year. We exchanged Christmas cards and I send her a text in the New Year to say I hope she had a good Christmas and saying we should meet up soon. She replied that she’d had a good Christmas and wishing me a Happy New Year but no mention of meeting up. Time has flown by as DH and I have both had various health issues and hospital appointments so I haven’t been in touch with her until I sent her a birthday card last week saying long time no see, we must get together soon. sShe has now sent me a text thanking me for my card and hoping I am well but. again, no mention of meeting up. Therefore, I can’t help feeling that she’s stepping away from our friendship which makes me very sad as I know I’ve done nothing wrong. We parted on very good terms last year.
What do you think. Is she ghosting me? Should I try to arrange a get together or will that just make her uncomfortable?

sad grandma I think perhaps she’s interpreting your “get together sometime” “meet soon” as a polite calling an ending to things.

Maybe phone and try to make a more definitive arrangement or if phoning isn’t on suggest “free first week in August?” or something like that.

She is not ghosting you but is making it clear that she does not want to meet up. I would just accept the friendship is over.

Lathyrus3
I hadn’t thought that she might think this, although she would always come back with a few suggestions for days in the past. I did think of replying to her text suggesting a few dates but I’m worried that doing so might put her under pressure to arrange a date if she doesn’t really want to.
Elowen33
Perhaps you are right. I wouldn’t have described her as a very close friend but we always enjoyed our get togethers so I feel sad but I guess some friendships have a sell by date as people gain new interests and new friends.
I think I’ll leave it and hope that she might contact me again one day.

They told you what the problem was; claustrophobia. You were crowding them with unwanted whatsapps. Intrusive.

Talking at people is not communication. Try listening instead.

Jampanda Obviously many haven't bothered to read the thread to find out what has actually been going on. I would stay away from phone calls or they may feel stalked.

I think you're right to drop it. I'm with some of the others - a birthday/Christmas card just to say hi and show them that the door is open if they wish to step through it. You may one day find out what the problem was. If there is no response then, they really don't want to get in touch.

It's actually quite difficult to resurrect a friendship after you're told someone you need a break - you start to wonder whether the friend will still be a friend. Your friend may be wondering if you will be receptive if she does get in touch in the future. Or as someone else said - they may have problems you are unaware of, like illness. It would be a shame to lose friends you like just because they have been through a bad time and needed space to deal with it.

Update - we did not make any more contact. Last contact from said friends was May 10th. Recently it was their anniversary, we sent a card as it was a special year. We got a card back as our anniversary was a few days later, I then put a thank you on our chat group, this has been ignored.
I totally think this friendship is over, such a shame, but I am not willing to push something that's not wanted

There are two birthdays coming up shortly, will be interesting to see what happens then.

Friendships come and go, we have had many different friends over the years, some we thought would last a lifetime, but very few have stood the test of time. Has hardly ever been down to ill feeling but simply drifting apart.
Don’t agonise about the possible loss of these friends, for whatever reason they have decided to cut ties. Send cards on birthdays etc., and don’t expect much else back. Was good to know them for all those years and you have I am sure some lovely memories.

I'm really surprised that so many posts suggest that you keep contacting them, whether to ask why, or to ask them out to lunch or just send a card or just call or...

Ugh, please don't. They've already made it very clear that they want you to leave them alone. So I think continuing to contact them anyway would be quite dense and pushy.

Very few friendships last a lifetime. We probably all know what it's like to feel like a friendship has run its course and want to move on. When people want to move on, they're past wanting to discuss it. They rarely say why.

And what would they say anyway? Sorry, but your constant prattling on about your health issues/dog/grandchildren just bores me out of my mind. Sorry, but if I have to listen to your husband brag about his money one more time, I'm afraid I'll choke the life out of him. Oh, and also....

Sorry they've moved on, though. It's not a nice feeling.