We often have guests to stay - family and friends. We don't have a spare bedroom with en-suite, but usually give guests the "best" spare room- never our own room. I would never dream of coming into their room in the night - just respect their privacy.
Many years ago, our house was much smaller (an old cottage) and we had friends staying- 2 couples, one recently married. We didn't have much space and the newly weds had to share a single bed in a very small room. Some time later (9 months I assume) we were informed that their first baby had been born - conceived in our small bed! They seemed to take pride in the fact that they had enjoyed their stay with us so much and it made that baby special!
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AIBU
Am I a prude?
(175 Posts)Good morning all,
I want to be open and say that I am not a gran, however I have previously been a member of another similar type of forum, and found some of the members there to be extremely sarcastic and unhelpful so I have taken the decision to register here in the hope that I may find more measured/sensible responses! However all opinions and outlooks are welcome .. please be kind though as I’m a little upset.
For context, I’m in my early 40’s and my in-laws mentioned here are in their early 70’s.
I need to know if I’m being a prude, I truly don’t think I am. I’ve never thought of myself as one. But, I feel so uncomfortable in my own home!!
My in-laws are currently staying with us. They arrived yesterday - Friday- and will be here until Wednesday. We’ve never been in a position to have them stay over with us until now, but we’ve moved house this year and we have the room at last. Before we moved, they would stay in a local hotel when visiting us. We’re five hours drive apart, so visits tend to be for a few days at a time.
I was more than happy to have them stay here since we now have a spare room, and we get (got!?) on well. I am now regretting agreeing to it!!
We’ve let them stay in our main bedroom, as the bed is much nicer than our spare one, and there’s an ensuite.
The ensuite door is annoying, and rattles when closed, even with the tiniest bit of wind. It also swings shut, and then rattles (we need to sort it out). So, we have a door stop in place to mitigate this.
Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, to hear the ensuite door rattling. I tried to ignore it but couldn’t, so I decided to, very quietly, go in to the main bedroom where my in-laws were sleeping, to put the doorstop back into place, assuming they’d moved it for some reason. You don’t need to go into the main part of the bedroom to access the ensuite, as it is right by the door when you go in the room, so I figured if I was quiet, I’d be able to do this without disturbing them.
I quietly entered the bedroom (they had left the bedroom door ajar) and instantly, there was no mistake what I could hear - my in-laws were having sex. In mine and my husband’s bed. In our home. I quickly left the room.. obviously. They weren’t being loud, but there was absolutely no mistaking what they were doing, I don’t need to go into more detail.
In my 14 years of marriage to my DH, and the countless times we have stayed with my in-laws, we have never once even considered that it would be appropriate to be intimate together in their house. And now they’ve done this in ours. I feel so uncomfortable with this.
This morning, they went out for breakfast .. just as well, because I felt absolutely mortified and awkward when they came downstairs . They asked DH and I if we wanted to come, but I made up an excuse about feeling unwell. When they went out, my DH said I wasn’t myself and asked what was wrong. I told him what I heard. At first he thought I was joking, but when I eventually got him to believe me, he also could not believe they had done this. He isn’t planning to say anything to them about it, and nor am I …I don’t think. I’m not good with awkward situations.. but I do feel very grossed out.
Am I being a complete prude here or have they pushed a boundary?!
To answer your question: Yes, by my lights, you are a prude.
I'm more shocked at you sneaking into a bedroom where guests are sleeping. What an invasion of their privacy. Frankly if you'd respected them you wouldn't have heard anything.
Well if you’re a prude I must be too because I would be mortified at the thought of someone else having sex in my bed, surely they could have waited until they got home it’s not as if they are a pair of teenagers
theworriedwell
I'm more shocked at you sneaking into a bedroom where guests are sleeping. What an invasion of their privacy. Frankly if you'd respected them you wouldn't have heard anything.
As I have previously mentioned, the way the bedroom is, is that immediately on entering the room, the ensuite is to the side of you, and the bed is sort of around the corner. If you could see the bed immediately on entering the room, then no, of course I would not have gone in.
I think it was Tony and Cherrie Blair whose baby was conceived in one of HM Queen Elizabeth's beds (Sandringham,I think).
You should be pleased that
your in-laws have such a happy stable marriage.
Bear in mind that you would have been non the wiser had you not gone into their room during the night.
If the rattling door was bothering them your in-laws would have seen to it themselves.
Don't let this cause a rift between you and your husband's family.
I think some of these posts are really rude to the OP, I think the in laws should have controlled themselves until they were in their own bed out of respect
I don’t think sex in private (well so they thought ) is out of order , goodness me ! I expect they must have been relaxed and enjoying the break
Mrsbee377
theworriedwell
I'm more shocked at you sneaking into a bedroom where guests are sleeping. What an invasion of their privacy. Frankly if you'd respected them you wouldn't have heard anything.
As I have previously mentioned, the way the bedroom is, is that immediately on entering the room, the ensuite is to the side of you, and the bed is sort of around the corner. If you could see the bed immediately on entering the room, then no, of course I would not have gone in.
It has absolutely nothing to do with where the bed is position, you totally abused their privacy.
If you are so sensitive about people making love in your bed, why offer it to them. You may not realise, but making love is to most people part of married life, to some people it is also part of their night routine, regardless of age. I am thrilled for them, that they have an active sex life. Whether you are a prude or not to me is ridiculous to even ask, I personally think you are being totally unreasonable in more ways than one and now you are strongly defending yourself on top of it. You asked but don't like the answers, I can tell you they could all be so much more harsh, why do you think most of the GNs think this is a wind up? because it totally sounds like one coupled with the fact that you can't see what school holidays have to do it, makes it even more funny to me, you have obviously lived a very sheltered life. Time to make sure your in laws are made to feel comfortable before they leave to go home. I cannot believe your husband agreed with you too that his parents were out of order, he is probably jealous.
No, I can’t see what school holidays have got to do with it, are you going to tell me?!
Lathyrus3
I’m a bit worried about your own sex life🙄😳
You don’t need to worry about that.
Mrsbee377 - the school holidays comments relate to some GN members suspecting that spam posts are made by bored teenagers during school holidays. I don't actually agree, but the "school holidays" comments come up from time to time in relation to posts some believe aren't genuine.
Farmor15
Mrsbee377 - the school holidays comments relate to some GN members suspecting that spam posts are made by bored teenagers during school holidays. I don't actually agree, but the "school holidays" comments come up from time to time in relation to posts some believe aren't genuine.
Right, I understand now. No, I’m not a teenager. What a ludicrous suggestion!
This is definitely a wind up post 🤣🤣
Pardon my ignorance but how do you know that? I am not stupid (my job was sussing out liars and chancers) but I fail to see how you are definitely sure it’s a windup post. Please enlighten me!
Crossstitchfan
Pardon my ignorance but how do you know that? I am not stupid (my job was sussing out liars and chancers) but I fail to see how you are definitely sure it’s a windup post. Please enlighten me!
I cannot keep justifying myself to people on here. It is not a wind up, and this is the last time I’m going to respond to anything suggesting it is.
Lesley60
I think some of these posts are really rude to the OP, I think the in laws should have controlled themselves until they were in their own bed out of respect
Really??
petra
Classic example of a liar
Toooooo much detail/ information.
Plus the written perfect grammar and paragraphs.
If the BOTS want to be believed they need to reprogram that error in the text.
Ahh that’s not fair Petra
Take no notice mrsbee377
Perhaps they anticipated it and brought their own large towel to lie on. That’s what we do.
I would not have invaded your guests’ bedroom.
Lathyrus3
Move the comfortable bed into the guest room and get a new comfortable one for the main room.
A comfortable guest room and an uncontaminated bed for the OP.
Problem solved😁
(Never understand why people hang on to uncomfortable furniture 🤔)
A little judgemental, Lathyrus3. It could be for financial reasons. I wouldn’t think too many people can just buy beds, mattresses etc on a whim! They are expensive!
If you can, well, you are very lucky!
Sorry, I can't stop giggling. 😂
Whatever is the world coming to, two people in their 70s having sex 😯
Do not enter guests' bedrooms that is intrusive.
Mrsbee377
Crossstitchfan
Pardon my ignorance but how do you know that? I am not stupid (my job was sussing out liars and chancers) but I fail to see how you are definitely sure it’s a windup post. Please enlighten me!
I cannot keep justifying myself to people on here. It is not a wind up, and this is the last time I’m going to respond to anything suggesting it is.
however I have previously been a member of another similar type of forum, and found some of the members there to be extremely sarcastic and unhelpful so I have taken the decision to register here in the hope that I may find more measured/sensible responses!
Was it Mumsnet? Did you get short shrift on there too?
Oh dear, you're not having much luck, are you.
Never mind, the in-laws will be gone soon.
In the meantime, may I recommend you buy a decent bed for the spare room?
I just love the assumption from a couple of these posts that everyone can afford to go out and buy a brand-new bed!
Fed up of justifying myself yet again here, but as I have already said, we have had a lot of expenses since moving into this house and a new bed for a spare bedroom has not been one of our priorities, it’s perfectly fine, just, as I said, not as nice as the main bedroom bed.
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