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AIBU

My dad spent 40 years mastering his craft, and last week someone half his age told him how to eat.😠

(91 Posts)
NoraHayes Mon 06-Jul-26 12:08:55

My dad was a professional chef for forty years.
Not a hobby cook. Not someone who followed recipes on weekends. A professional. Someone who fed hundreds of people, who could taste a sauce and know in thirty seconds exactly what it needed, who understood food the way most people understand their own name.
Last week someone told him he should be eating more carefully at his age. Since when does being old prevent certain privilege
I looked at my dad and watched his face. That specific stillness that happens when someone who has spent a lifetime building something real is told that perhaps they need a little guidance now.
He just smiled. Said thank you. And said nothing else.
And I wanted to say everything he didn't. Because what I've known about my dad. He was getting up before anyone else was awake and doing things properly when the person giving him advice was still in school. He has forgotten more about feeding people well than most people giving him guidance have had the chance to learn yet.
He is not confused. He is not struggling. I've never seen him as a problem that needs solving by someone younger with better information.
He is someone who earned the right to be asked — not advised. My siblings think am being dramatic.
I don't think the people who do this mean any harm. I genuinely don't.
But I wonder sometimes if you feel it. If you recognise that specific smile. The one that absorbs something rather than causes a scene. The one that has been practised so long it looks like patience but is actually something else entirely. I wonder what you figured out through sixty years of doing it for real — that no amount of well meaning advice from anyone younger could have taught you and how you handle similar situations

Cossy Tue 07-Jul-26 14:45:27

*every not very

HobbyCat Tue 07-Jul-26 14:49:49

Being a chef is a talent. For sure. But that talent is creating the best, tasty dishes. It doesn’t automatically mean you are a nutritionist.

NannaFirework Tue 07-Jul-26 14:58:34

NoraHayes

To Marg75
I'm not sure the way he dealt with it is best though. I understand why he did it. But I sometimes wonder if the quiet dignity of saying nothing is exactly what makes people think it's acceptable to keep doing it.

Exactly - bloody cheek saying that to your Dad - I would feel as you do x

Daffydilly Tue 07-Jul-26 15:03:25

ViceVersa

Why do these posts always read like AI wrote them?

I was thinking the OP sounded very eloquent and that the post was very calm and well thought out.

Daffydilly Tue 07-Jul-26 15:04:32

mrsfeather

Yes it's AI. I hate this!

How do you know?

Silvertwigs Tue 07-Jul-26 15:08:44

Exactly. Even if it serves as ‘getting it off your chest’! Look on it as feed back for the gobshite for them to learn, grow and develop.

fluttERBY123 Tue 07-Jul-26 15:41:17

Proverb
Tell me what you claim and I'll tell you what you lack.
People who go round telling you what they are good at are also trying to convince themselves. People who really do know what they are doing don't need to boast about it.
In your father's position I would simply not have been bothered to embarrass the person by telling them my background. IMHO I don't think the incident will have bothered him.

Oldfossil Tue 07-Jul-26 15:58:17

This is the first GN post that I have noticed that appears to be AI generated. I comment out of interest rather than in criticism. At the moment AI has very characteristic mannerisms in use of language, grammar etc and once one is familiar with these features, can irritate. The use of AI does not mean that the situation described is not real or doesn’t deserve comment. However, it does have a dampening, deadening effect.

Elsi Tue 07-Jul-26 16:03:08

No advice but I do feel your pain

ayse Tue 07-Jul-26 16:13:06

ViceVersa

Why do these posts always read like AI wrote them?

I suspect it is because AI wrote it. UTube has several real people talking about the rule of three, it’s not this it’s that etc.

Momac55 Tue 07-Jul-26 16:14:45

Mountains and molehills spring to mind

NotSpaghetti Tue 07-Jul-26 16:36:13

Silvertwigs

Exactly. Even if it serves as ‘getting it off your chest’! Look on it as feed back for the gobshite for them to learn, grow and develop.

I don't understand this?
Who do you mean please?
What are you referring to?

Grammaretto Tue 07-Jul-26 16:52:32

Where is the OP?
If she is so intent on sticking up for her dad why isn't she on here defending herself against to assumptions that she uses AI?

What's wrong with using AI?

I feel her post was on the wrong thread. It should be on Everyday Ageism

ViceVersa Tue 07-Jul-26 16:59:29

Grammaretto

Where is the OP?
If she is so intent on sticking up for her dad why isn't she on here defending herself against to assumptions that she uses AI?

What's wrong with using AI?

I feel her post was on the wrong thread. It should be on ^Everyday Ageism^

When posts appear to have been written by AI, I always suspect that there may be an ulterior motive, and the responses are being used elsewhere.

NotSpaghetti Tue 07-Jul-26 17:02:59

Yes, Grammaretto - Everyday Ageism is a good place.

It certainly applied to my mother-in-law's interaction with various people until they knew her.

granto3 Tue 07-Jul-26 17:39:50

Samsaral, what came to mind immediately is the saying Pot, Kettle, Black, which I believe most people will understand.

Skye17 Tue 07-Jul-26 18:59:27

This OP certainly sounds like AI to me, and I don’t like that.

Colls Tue 07-Jul-26 19:01:43

If you see a (usually long) piece of text such as the OP that includes an 'm dash' i.e. a loong dash rather than an 'n dash' ie a shorter dash that is used in most normal writing, it is a BIG give-away for probably being written by AI.

rosa24 Tue 07-Jul-26 19:49:40

That’s what I thought
.

Mojack26 Tue 07-Jul-26 20:01:54

But why did this man say or feel the need to tell a random stranger what to eat? Makes no difference if uour dad was a chef or othetwise that was just rudeness and bad manners! None of his business and your dad handled that with dignity. 👏👏👏👏

Doodledog Tue 07-Jul-26 21:16:34

Cossy

Doodledog

My guess is that it's almost certainly AI, but that doesn't necessarily mean we are being taken for fools. Before there is a pile on, it's worth considering that there is a chance that the OP wanted to write a post on the subject but wasn't confident enough to do it herself, so ran hers through AI to help her.

As I've said, I don't respond to her posts, as they do seem to follow the AI pattern:
Balanced phrases - not A, not B, but C.

The 'rule of three' - He did A, then B, then (punchline) C.

Questions phrased as information that leads the reader towards the 'correct' response- did you ever do A, which made you feel B, and it resulted in C? I wonder if you felt D?

There's more, but it is that sort of thing that flags AI writing. People do use it to 'cheat', but also to help with Dyslexia and to correct poor grammar etc. Given the readiness with which posts are often picked apart on here when someone posts in less than perfect English, I could understand someone using AI to help, and in my work experience those who really want to cheat will edit AI-speak to eradicate such obvious tells, but this post seems hot off the press. I wouldn't want the OP to feel she can't post again if the above is the case, and she will probably reinvent herself if it's all been a scam.

AI is used now on every day life, by many people.

It’s often used to “amend” “correct” and “jazz up” statements, reports, even job applications, all quite legally.

Just because many of us don’t use AI on a regular basis, doesn’t mean others don’t.

There are many versions of apps etc online which allow us to freely use AI in very language format, we would choose a UK English version.

Which is what I meant by 'it's worth considering that there is a chance that the OP wanted to write a post on the subject but wasn't confident enough to do it herself, so ran hers through AI to help her.'

I'm not sure if you are disagreeing with me or saying the same thing, in which case I'm not sure why you quoted me😀

FranP Tue 07-Jul-26 22:25:32

It is a generic issue, don't you find ? Patronising advice especially from the doctors. Breast lumps were followed with advice about types of bra to change to "at my age".

40 years as a programmer through to IT consultant, I asked a simple question - I gave the spec of my rather elderly laptop compared to the advertised min spec, highlighting some of the differences and if they thought it was going to manage Windows 11 as it would seem on the border of ability. I was then advised what the min spec was, and advised about software backup process. , All of which I knew.

NotSpaghetti Tue 07-Jul-26 22:45:13

My phone sometimes makes long hyphens and sometimes short.
On my laptop that doesn't happen.
Maybe someone coild please PM me as to why???

mrsfeather Tue 07-Jul-26 23:43:30

Oldfossil I couldn't have put it as well as you did but fully agree AI is easy to spot.

BlueBelle Wed 08-Jul-26 07:08:21

It’s the flowery sentences that give it away

That specific stillness that happens when someone who has spent a lifetime building something real
.

But I wonder sometimes if you feel it. If you recognise that specific smile. The one that absorbs something rather than causes a scene.