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Hardly get to see my grandson

(6 Posts)
Happygran1964 Fri 01-Jun-12 20:37:05

Can any grans or granddads out there advise me how to subtly ask my son and dil if I can see more of my three month old grandson?

He is my first grandchild and I love him dearly but I am lucky if I get to see him once a fortnight even though they only live a ten minute's drive away.

I appreciate the fact that we are not welcome during the week as Harry goes to bed at 7 pm but I would dearly love to see him on weekends but they always seem to be too busy. I know for a fact that he sees his maternal granny on Saturdays, as well as a couple of lunchtimes during the week when my dil takes him to her mum's workplace.

That just leaves Sundays but then they are shopping or have friends round and we just have to see Harry when they have a free hour. I really don't understand it as I always though that we were a close family. Suddenly I feel shut out and don't know what to do with all the love that I feel for my little grandson.

whenim64 Fri 01-Jun-12 21:16:28

I don't know about subtle Happygran, I tend to tell my daughter that I'm having pangs to see her twin babies if I don't see them for three or four days. I just long for their lovely cuddles, so I tell her outright, and she tuts at me and tells me I'd better come over. I used to say the same to my son, when grandson was tiny, and would drive over to their house which was 10 minutes away. Ex-DIL was quite frosty with me, but I always made myself useful and would change nappies or feed the baby, help the older children (from previous relationship) with homework, often turn up with something I'd knitted or bought, like packs of nappies or new babygrows. It worked well enough and I saw lots of my grandson.

Why don't you just speak out and say you can't bear to miss a minute, he is so gorgeous? Grandma cuddling baby whilst they can have a meal together, or pehaps even go out for a couple of hours, can be invaluable. Good luck smile

Anagram Fri 01-Jun-12 21:21:11

I do feel for you, Happygran, because as has been discussed on another thread, sometimes it seems as though the paternal gran comes second in the pecking order. Are you close to your son? Could you mention to him that you'd like to see your grandson more often? Perhaps you could offer to babysit on the occasional evening - just let both of them know that you are more than willing to offer help as well as those lovely cuddles.

whenim64 Fri 01-Jun-12 21:24:15

Also, offer to babysit and come along an hour before bedtime to help out, so they can get ready themselves. Best of both worlds, and you can keep popping in to adore the baby whilst he's sleeping smile

vampirequeen Sat 02-Jun-12 10:26:17

You have to say how you feel. If I say lets meet my daughters are perfectly happy to agree but never think to suggest it themselves although they see their father every week. Sometimes I think they just get into a habit and forget we have feelings too.

gracesmum Sat 02-Jun-12 13:22:22

Good advice here - can't do better. What a silly DIL not to take advantage of a loving gran and her extra pair of doting hands!