DIL won't bring my grandson to my home

......AND they poop scoop their dogs' poo so no-one has to be in contact with it.

Well, thanks for all that valuable advice xx I think I will go with the walking out first and suggest doggy day care for the first few times they come to visit. We have a very placid (wormed and deflead) dog who I think in later years will be a good friend to our grandson. But as they say.....baby steps x thanks again

I have a lovely greyhound who is I think bombproof, but can think she is a puppy and get quite boisterous when people arrive and I knew DD was apprehensive about DGS1 never being alone with the dog so I took (and still take) the easiest way out and Grace goes to kennels when the DGC are here now. It is a shame but she doesn't seem to mind, life is easier with one less person (!) to worry about and I would hate the boys to be "spooke" by her as to them she is HUGE of course. I first got a dog when DD was 4 as she was afraid of dogs and she was brought up with a soppy bombproof labrador who as she lived until she was 16 was with us throughout all the time DD lived at home before going to university. Maybe a lab wold have been tolerated, I don't know, but I think things change when it is your own baby. Although greyhounds have very short hair, I still hoover like mad when the boys are coming, double check the lawn with a magnifying glass and take every precaution. Easiest all round

"spooked" of course.

I don't think I could grow to love a giant turtle or a parrot.

I love parrots.

So do I - we had two African Greys when the children were younger. They spoke in our voices, and would have us in stitches, copying everything they heard. Such good fun!

Greatnan As someone who has just spent thousands of pounds transporting my three remaining cats halfway across the world, I can only say that the joy one gets from pets while they are alive vastly outweighs the sadness one feels at their comparatively early deaths.

No-one claiming love of a giant turtle?

A tortoise perhaps. My garden isn't big enough to house a marine tank for a giant turtle?

Do giant tortoises count? What about Lonesome George [well, before he was dead, that is]?

I know the joy that cats (and dogs) can bring and I miss having one. I just remarked that it is inevitable, in the normal run of things, that they will die before their owners, so it is better to be prepared.
And I am sure nobody on Gransnet would claim that the loss of a pet can be equated with that of a child.

Greatnan No, of course I wasn't claiming that.

One is never quite prepared for death – of pets or people.

One of my dearest friends, whose first-born died early in life, once said, "If you can cope with the death of your child, you then have the strength to cope with anything life throws at you."

I would agree completely with your friend. I just don't know how I would cope, but I know people do - but who knows how much they suffer in silence?

If you are happy to visit your grandchild and are very welcome I would leave it at that.
Only a mother and father can make the decisions about how their child is raised and if that includes not taking their baby to someones house with dogs then that's it.
Don't get stressed about this enjoy your grandchild.

My daughter gives birth to our first grandchild in October and I wouldn't dream about telling her how to bring up her baby.
If she asks for advice I'll give it but otherwise it's mouth closed.

Greatnan there are people who do see the death of a pet in the same light as any other death of a loved one. The week that my son in law was killed in Afghanistan my mother rang my daughter to commiserate with her and told her that she knew exactly how she felt because her cat had also just died.
(My mum won't ever win prizes for tact or sensitivity.)

GA - I rest my case!