Oh What to do???

Oh dear! I'm sorry this has happened, flower. If you feel able to tell your son what you overheard, it might produce an acknowledgement of the change of plan. Would you prefer to only have the children for one night?

Good luck. I don't envy you with this at all!

I would mention that I have heard they have changed their plans but in a cheerful way and not make a big deal of it. They are probably looking forward to a break and you have said you will look after the boys.

Does it matter?

Agree with Bags but also must say that IMO "baby showers" are another bloody American idea that we have managed perfectly well without for ages!

(Dons tin helmet and gets under desk)

I'm with the others on this with the additional thought that if they are going for a serious night out on the town - they might not have surfaced until lunchtime at the earliest anyway. I am hearing perhaps a note of concern in the description of the boys as "boisterous" - are you perhaps worried they might be too much of a handful? If so. let's compare notes next Monday as we have DGSs (3+ and 22 months) from Thursday to Sunday evening while DD and SIL are at a wedding in Florence. With DH's health, I have lined up my SisIL - a retired GP as my extra pair of hands and also the other 2 DDs and SILs for an outing on Sunday by which point I will be on my knees!!!

I'm not phased about the baby shower as I agree it is another American thing over here. Its just that I feel they are not being honest with me.

Merlotgran: I just don't like being deceived. I love the boys, of course, but, just want them to be honest about the situation. Like I said I don't like being taken for a fool.

No not concerned about the boisterousness of the boys. I have had 5 children of my own and my two eldest were boisterous. I can deal with them.We will take them out on the Saturday and probably for a long walk Sunday morning. It is just the fact that they are not being honest!

I would feel the same flower and I would have to ask them if their plans had changed, without being confrontational.
I hate being told lies.

Are they doing both food festival and night on tiles? Do you feel a bit conned? I understand that you might feel a bit cheated especially if the boys are hard work.

On the other hand maybe they really were going to the food festival and then another event cropped up and as they had babysitting set up went with the event they prefer..they possibly did not think you would mind. If you do mind you really have to decide if you need to say anything. But as others have said I would try not to make a big deal of it in case they never ask you again.

Hope whatever you decide to do that it goes well.

Think I will have to otherwise I will brood Lona. I am never confrontational with my children, don't normally have to be but I don't like being walked over either.

Yes, flower - tell them that you overheard a bit of the conversation and that it won't really matter. It would be so awkward and embarrassing if they tried to make out that they'd been out to a Food Festival and had just been out 'on the lash' so to speak!

Well, I think you missed a chance when you first overheard him say this. Why did n' t you say then, "what happened to the food festival?" However, better late than never. If you don't want to have two boisterous boys any longer than necessary (very understandable), take it up with them. Why pussy foot around?

Jo it was in the middle of the three year old's party. Just wasn't quick enough I suppose and was trying to work out which Saturday they meant. The moment passed. I will just mention that have their plans changed because...... I do love having the boys, its just the apparent deceit

I do think you have to mention this, how awful if they came to pick the boys up and said they had a great time at the Food Festival and you weren't sure if they had been or not!

Sometimes ours are 'economical' with the truth. I hate it.

My DD works on 'a need to know basis for information' until something gets let out of the bag and then says "ohhh didn't I tell you.... Sure I had" !!!!!!

I can't see a real problem here. Your son was not being dishonest because he spoke about the new plan openly enough for you to overhear him. I can put myself in his shoes as a similar thing happened to me. We had arranged for my parents to look after our 3 children which they loved doing but then we received a "better offer" which would mean they only needed to have them for one day. Knowing they would be upset at the change of plans we kept quiet. When they asked us if we had enjoyed the week-end away we said we didn't actually do that. We went to such and such for the day only. Nothing was made of it and nobody minded. Everybody had a good week-end

I think I would only raise this if they have lied to you in the past, and this seems to be the final straw. That sounds a bit melodramatic, but I hope you get my drift.
If your usual relationship with the Parents is relaxed and easy, then I wouldn't make anything of this issue. They may indeed have intended mentioning the change of plan but just didn't get round to it.
Give them the benefit of the doubt.

I know my DD has lied to me on this subject. But I just keep my mouth shut.
I'm a great believer in: A still tongue makes a wise head.

Its all sorted, I rang my DIL this morning and thanked her for the lovely time Sunday (DGS birthday party) I then asked if plans for the coming weekend had changed as I got the gist of a conversation regarding the friend's son's 18th. My DIL apologised and said that she was going to ring me today to explain that they don't need us now on Friday as they are not going to the Food Festival as they cannot afford it at the moment. Also my elder DGS has a party to go to on the Saturday. She said would I mind still having them overnight so they can go to the 18th Birthday and pick them up Sunday morning. Of course I said yes. I just think that to them they had a week to let me know but I am going away until Friday so really needed to know what was happening.

To the question have they lied before, yes, my DDS does tell 'white' lies. Silly really but that's him.

So BerylBee you are right they were planning to mention it to me. The conversation was relaxed and non-confrontational. I do get on well with the pair of them and love them and the boys to bits.

A happy outcome then flower

It is I can now go to my beach hut for 3 nights without the 'chatterbox' in my head worrying.

My son's girlfriend was reading a book on cognitive behaviour therapy and was on a chapter about Toxic Thoughts so whenever I start worrying about something or overthinking [every hour on the hour usually, especially when I haven't actually got anything to worry about which REALLY worries me] I say 'toxic thoughts' to myself and blot it out. I think it's working . Glad to hear things have sorted themselves out Flower .

Tegan I'm the same, it sort of gets to be a horrible habit (worrying) doesn't it?

I keep putting everything 'behind me' and it is working to a point.

Very pleased for you [flower] now you can enjoy your break.