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Death of a partner

(57 Posts)
grannygrunt Sun 11-May-14 18:27:45

I sadly lost my husband of 33 years two weeks ago. He suffered from COPD and had a heart attack seven years ago.
He was taken ill (with exacerbation of COPD) about five weeks ago and was rushed to hospital. We thought that our prayers had been answered when the doctors said he was well enough to go home. Sadly he passed away one week later in his sleep at the age of 66 years.
I awoke to find him dead beside me. I desperately tried CPR until the ambulance arrived but despite all efforts by me and paramedics (who were brilliant) deep down inside I knew there was no hope.
I went to see my beloved husband in the chapel of rest because I didnt want the last time I saw him to be that traumatic day and he looked so much more peaceful there.
My family have been wonderful and I am lucky to have loving caring children, grandchildren, a great grandchild and a dear friend but can other gransnetters tell me how to begin living without my husband, friend and soulmate! He was such a lovely man.
I miss his kindness, his loving ways, his knowledge, his jokes, the way he continually had a remote control in his hand and his whistling (which often got on my nerves when he was alive).
I know it is early days yet, and that time will probably help to heal the pain of my broken heart but what can I do in the meantime? I just can't imagine what it will be like without this wonderful man in my life!

Bellasnana Sun 11-May-14 20:27:46

So very sorry for your loss. My DH has recently been diagnosed with cancer and some of the feelings you describe are what I am terrified of having to face in the future. I can only send best wishes as you begin this new and unwelcome journey without the man you love. flowers

newist Sun 11-May-14 20:37:52

I wish I could sit and hold your hand and tell you, I am so sorry for your sad lose, there is nothing I can say that will ease your pain but please believe I shall be thinking of you flowers

Grannyknot Sun 11-May-14 20:55:07

So sorry Grunt and what a shock for you that night. Hold fast to the happy memories of the past 33 years. flowers

Soutra Sun 11-May-14 21:11:24

Bellasnana [flowers|] hang on in there and when you need a shoulder or a listening ear remember we are here!

Soutra Sun 11-May-14 21:12:18

flowers flowers!!

Sewsilver Sun 11-May-14 21:31:20

Granny grunt, I am so sorry you have had this huge loss. My DH died 6 months ago and I am still struggling massively.It seems impossible at first to go on. I have found that the only thing to do is to take one day or part of a day at a time.I have pm'd you.

NanKate Sun 11-May-14 21:44:18

How very sad for you Grannygrunt

I hope these words from 'Winnie the Pooh' are of some comfort to you.

If ever there is a tomorrow when we are not together.
There is something you must always remember
You are braver than you believe
Stronger than you seem
And smarter than you think.
Even if we are apart, I will always be with you.

A. A. Milne.

whenim64 Sun 11-May-14 22:08:03

Grannygrunt flowers I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Your family must be a great comfort for you, having lost your soulmate. Let them look after you for a while. Take care x

janeainsworth Sun 11-May-14 22:43:09

I'm so sorry Grannygrunt flowers

numberplease Sun 11-May-14 22:47:24

So sorry to read your sad news Grannygrunt.

kittylester Mon 12-May-14 11:13:50

I'm sorry to hear your news too Grannygrunt flowers

glammanana Mon 12-May-14 12:01:17

Grannygruntflowersflowers so sorry to hear your news please keep posting.

Marelli Mon 12-May-14 12:18:14

Grannygrunt, there is little we can say which will make you feel better, but please remember we're here for you at any time (during the night sometimes, too). You've been very brave to post as you have done. I hope it's helped you a bit. flowersx

Gagagran Mon 12-May-14 12:41:26

So many kind and supportive posts for you Grannygrunt. I hope they ease the pain a little. What other words can be said? Perhaps just the Irish phrase offered to the bereaved - "I'm sorry for your loss". We all are. flowers

rosesarered Mon 12-May-14 12:58:29

So sorry for your loss Grannygrunt and what an awful shock for you as it happened at home. But as Soutra says it was better for your DH to die in his sleep at home and with you.We will all have to face the loss of our DH's at some point [or die ourselves] and it always seemed a long way off, but now we are getting older and it has to be faced.Glad that you have your children and friends around to be there for you.Try and post something on here every day, as there are lots of G'netters who have gone through this already and will support you. flowers

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 12-May-14 13:07:10

So sorry for your loss grannygrunt - best wishes from all at HQ flowers

DebnCreme Mon 12-May-14 13:25:07

So sorry to read your post grannygrunt. Sadly there is nothing I can say at this time which would be of help. Along with others I offer love, my thoughts and a hand of friendshp. Please keep talking to us flowers

TriciaF Mon 12-May-14 14:14:18

So sorry about your husband's death, Grannygrunt. Such a shock.
Your married life must be full of happy memories - God bless.

Galen Mon 12-May-14 15:15:22

Condolences from me. I've been through it and you will survive. It's not easy at first but things do get easier.

PRINTMISS Mon 12-May-14 16:05:57

I can only join with what everyone else has said Grannygrunt, with tears in my eyes for you. Happy memories will, I hope comfort you on occasions.

Dragonfly1 Mon 12-May-14 18:40:42

Grannygrunt, my sympathy. I've lost both my husband and daughter in the last three years, and Galen is right - you do survive, and although life won't ever be the same it does get easier. There's little you can do other than lean on people if you need to, allow yourself to grieve, and take each day as it comes. Bereavement counselling might help at some point.

Culag Mon 12-May-14 18:54:42

You have my sympathies and understanding too, Grannygrunt. My husband died a few years ago, he just managed to reach his 60th birthday. I'm sure your family will support you and you will get used to it as time goes on.

KatyK Mon 12-May-14 19:11:12

So sorry grannygrunt sad

grandma60 Mon 12-May-14 19:31:42

So sorry flowers

grannygrunt Mon 12-May-14 20:57:01

What lovely words. Thank you so much.