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Death of a partner

(56 Posts)
grannygrunt Sun 11-May-14 18:27:45

I sadly lost my husband of 33 years two weeks ago. He suffered from COPD and had a heart attack seven years ago.
He was taken ill (with exacerbation of COPD) about five weeks ago and was rushed to hospital. We thought that our prayers had been answered when the doctors said he was well enough to go home. Sadly he passed away one week later in his sleep at the age of 66 years.
I awoke to find him dead beside me. I desperately tried CPR until the ambulance arrived but despite all efforts by me and paramedics (who were brilliant) deep down inside I knew there was no hope.
I went to see my beloved husband in the chapel of rest because I didnt want the last time I saw him to be that traumatic day and he looked so much more peaceful there.
My family have been wonderful and I am lucky to have loving caring children, grandchildren, a great grandchild and a dear friend but can other gransnetters tell me how to begin living without my husband, friend and soulmate! He was such a lovely man.
I miss his kindness, his loving ways, his knowledge, his jokes, the way he continually had a remote control in his hand and his whistling (which often got on my nerves when he was alive).
I know it is early days yet, and that time will probably help to heal the pain of my broken heart but what can I do in the meantime? I just can't imagine what it will be like without this wonderful man in my life!

Ariadne Sun 11-May-14 18:32:30

Oh grannygrunt my heart goes put to you; it must be such a dreadful time. I can only send you love and a shoulder to lean on, but there are other grants who will be with you very soon, and who will know just how you are feeling. (hug)

Nonu Sun 11-May-14 18:33:14

Granny are you a new poster?

There are sooo many lovely, sweet kindhearted folk on this site who have been through what you have and will offer lots of love and sympathy.

Keep posting, it is very helpful!


Kiora Sun 11-May-14 18:38:11

Oh I do hope ( I know) one of the gransneters can help you through this terrible time. Your love for your husband shines through this post. He sounds as though he was a lovely man. I can hardly imagine your pain and wish I could help. You've been through such a lot and have been so brave. I hope you keep posting. My condolences and a (((((((hug))))))) I will be thinking of you. flowers

Greenfinch Sun 11-May-14 18:42:05

I feel your sadness Granny flowers.Week-ends must be especially hard.

Lindylooby Sun 11-May-14 18:44:17

Oh Grannygrunt, I am so sorry you have lost your dh.
I so understand how you are feeling at the minute as my dh died on16.04.2013. Like your husband it was sudden, went in hospital with what wethought was a chest infection only to be told 4 days later on his birthday that he had weeks to live, he died 4 days later.
at the moment you must be feeling in a parallel world, so much to organise, so many kind wishes and people to love you. I don't think it really hit me until after the funeral, as I would imagine Mike would suddenly reappear and this would have just been a nightmare.
please feel free to pm me and we canchat, I must say that the lovely ladies on gn gave me such support in those first few weeks and months. I have done the 'firsts', in fact today is thd 2nd birthday I have had since his death, just expect life to be different, take enjoyment from your family, cry, laugh, grieve and celebrate as the will takes you. You never get over it, how could you? You just learn to live this different life.
I send you my very best, remember pm me anytime. [Flowers]

Mishap Sun 11-May-14 18:45:21

Many condolences - such a difficult time for you. I know that there are grans on here who have been through the same process and will be happy to hold your hand through this sad time of adjustment. I am so glad that you have supportive family around you and send love and good wishes.

bikergran Sun 11-May-14 18:45:57

grannygrunt do keep posting and telling us your feelings, there are plenty of good listeners here, I can understand where you are coming from as my DH has had c.o.p.d for many yrs and serveral heart attacks and we live from day to day. Your DH was quite young, I hope you will find some comfort on here, it doesn't matter what you say we will always be here to listen.

bikergran Sun 11-May-14 18:47:15

just looked at your profile pics...they are all

Greenfinch Sun 11-May-14 18:54:08

Yes, lovely photos. Are they twins or triplets ? smile

grannygrunt Sun 11-May-14 18:59:48

Thank you all for your kind words and messages. Yes, although I have been on Gransnet for some time, I am a new poster and i can't believe how kind people are.

grannygrunt Sun 11-May-14 19:01:35

I am lucky to have had twins and another baby girl born within a few weeks of each other who are now 3years.

Lindylooby Sun 11-May-14 19:04:10

I have 'bumped' Going it alone, and hope that may be of some comfort, remember ask anything you need to, vent your feelings here, they really are lovely ladies here. X

annsixty Sun 11-May-14 19:04:15

Sincere condolences grannygrunt this is an awful time for you and your family.Your grandchildren are beautiful and I hope that the whole family are a consolation to you. Others on here have been through this and will help you if you will let them.

Sook Sun 11-May-14 19:09:24

So sorry to hear your sad news grannygrunt you will find a lot of comfort on gransnet.

Lona Sun 11-May-14 19:18:55

grannygrunt flowers My deepest sympathy for you and your family.

Agus Sun 11-May-14 19:23:28

My heartfelt condolences grannygrunt. You will always find sincere support and understanding on GN.

A very warm welcome to you flowers

ffinnochio Sun 11-May-14 19:32:36

grannygrunt flowers

Soutra Sun 11-May-14 19:36:27

Dear grannygrunt what a dreadful experience for you and while you may not see it this way yet how blessed your DH was to be in his own bed beside the person he loved most in the world. The shock will take a long time to wear off and the adrenaline which has helped you through these nightmare weeks will have drained away leaving you weaker and more exhausted than you could ever have imagined. There are gransnetters who have been bereaved relatively recently and others whose sad anniversaries fall around now. There are sympathetic shoulders to cry on and, when you are ready for a giggle some silly threads to help raise a smile. We can't make your pain go away or bring your DH back but we are here for you. It would be lovely to hear more about him when you are ready and/or to hear all about your DGC. flowers and sympathy for your loss xx

Aka Sun 11-May-14 19:42:57

So sorry to read of your loss Grannygrunt sad

mcem Sun 11-May-14 19:55:55

What a sad event to prompt you to post for the first time - but you've come to the right place. I'm sure you'll find support and comfort with grans who have shared your experience. Sincere condolences to you and your family. X x

Anne58 Sun 11-May-14 19:57:21

Every good wish to you, I know that you will find a lot of love, support and advice from those who have experienced the loss of a much loved partner, stick with us Grannygrunt and although we can't change things, hopefully you will find some comfort here.

Lilygran Sun 11-May-14 20:00:14

That's very hard, grannygrunt flowers hope things start to get better soon.

chloe1984 Sun 11-May-14 20:03:56

For you flowers with love and sympathy .

MiceElf Sun 11-May-14 20:10:57

Such wise words from Soutra. I'm just sending my love and sympathy. Please keep,ousting, there is a lot of love and support on here x