grannygrunt I have not lost a spouse but 20 years ago I lost a sister when she was killed in a road accident. Not comparable by any means, but I can remember the awful physical pain of the early days of loss. I can remember feeling unbalanced. There had been three sisters, now there were two. I described it as feeling like a three legged stool that had lost a leg. Irrationally I wanted the pain never to decrease because somehow to reach a stage where I accepted her loss seemed a betrayal of all she meant to me.
How does one get through those first awful days and weeks? I do not know even now, grim determination, a mind anesthetised by pain. Finding time to be alone and weep uncontrollably without being comforted until you can cry no more and sleep. Keep eating, keep drinking (I am not referring to alcohol), even if you do not want to, keep the mechanics of life going. Take all the support that is offered you.
When the funeral is over, keep busy and keep up contact with people. One of my closest friends is also going through what you are going through. Her husband died in March after a short illness. He was 70. What she seems to be doing is avoiding giving herself too much time to sit in the house and think. She tries to get out every day, see friends and family several times a week. Keeps busy at home with the usual household tasks, hers and his.
Nothing can alleviate the pain you feel at present, but gradually, very gradually you will absorb your loss into your new different life without the one you love. meanwhile, like everyone else I send my sympathy. You will survive.