What an awful dilemma raggy 
It sounds to me as though your half sister is being very thoughtful and is happy for you to go - if you want to.
I think I would go because it might lead to a relationship with your sister which could be good for both of you in the longer term. She might also welcome having you there.
Please let us know what you decide and, if you go, how things were.
Such a sad decision raggy I would go if it was me and take the opportunity of a new relationship with your half sister who sounds a very caring person indeed.
I have just been visiting my own Mother in her Nursing Home- it was quite sad not be able to tell her about her ex husband's death although it was a rather acrimonious split about sixty years ago. She never remarried and now has dementia
Before my visit to my Mum I phoned my half sister and had a long chat with her about our feelings and she persuaded me that she and her own Mother would be perfectly alright with my presence. I even had a word with her Mother.
Things seem clearer now and at the moment I intend going to the funeral but not the gathering afterwards.
thanks everyone for their kind words
I will echo the sentiments of Lona and Mishap: I am really pleased that you have come to a decision that suits you.
I wish you well raggymac and I hope your new-found sister and yourself can have a sisterly relationship; it would be nice for something positive to come out of all your anguish.
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