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Reorientation of people for death.

(40 Posts)
kittylester Thu 01-Jan-15 14:53:48

What is it? blush

loopylou Thu 01-Jan-15 14:57:25

? [shrug] also confused!

Anne58 Thu 01-Jan-15 15:01:15

Not a clue!

kittylester Thu 01-Jan-15 15:09:48

My brother mentioned it in a message. Apparently, he's told the nh not to do it for mum but he isn't answering my message asking what it is!

I presume it doesn't involve moving the bed to a different position? confused

Grannyknot Thu 01-Jan-15 15:14:21

I saw this and thought... what?? (haven't a clue).

vampirequeen Thu 01-Jan-15 15:32:54

No idea

thatbags Thu 01-Jan-15 15:35:25

Dunno, but a google search of "reorientation for death" brought up some stuff about the thoughts of Plato, Socrates and Augustine about souls and immortality.

kittylester Thu 01-Jan-15 15:39:18

I did look bags but assumed there was a modern version!

thatbags Thu 01-Jan-15 15:46:07

Do tell if your brother lets you know! Or maybe you could ask at the nursing home?

loopylou Thu 01-Jan-15 15:52:36

Wondering if about asking what a person's preferences are re End of Life care, or allowing some who is nearing the end of their life to talk about their feelings and wishes?

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 01-Jan-15 15:53:04

I hope I can still manage to say fuck off with my final breath. [tchhmm ]

Agus Thu 01-Jan-15 15:53:51

Could it be something like a visit from her minister or priest if she is religious?

Stansgran Thu 01-Jan-15 15:55:11

?telling people that their end is nigh? Suggesting they should confess and have last rites? Think on the number of their days? How grim for New Years Day

loopylou Thu 01-Jan-15 16:00:00

End of Life care has not been managed well, if at all in some situations. Some may prefer not to discuss but the opportunity should be there for those who do. It's an uneasy subject for many of us.

FarNorth Thu 01-Jan-15 16:03:51

Is it patronising-medic-speak for getting someone used to the idea that they are dying?

Agus Thu 01-Jan-15 16:05:46

Another thought kitty. As your mum has Alzheimers which entails disorientation, does she have lucid times when she may ask the staff what is happening to her? The choice would then be made to tell her the truth or not.

loopylou Thu 01-Jan-15 16:12:52

No, not from my understanding and limited experience of sitting on the EoL strategy group locally. It is more about ensuring everyone can, if they wish, be involved in their treatment and care at all stages of their lives including when their life is coming to its end, and have the opportunity to say what they want to happen (and can change it at any time) eg. Living wills, staying at home, no life-prolonging procedures if appropriate and so on.
It is intended to help not distress and entirely optional for the person and the family to contribute.

Mishap Thu 01-Jan-15 16:22:48

I wonder who used this phrase - perhaps your brother could ask that person exactly what they mean?

I must admit that it does sound as though it might mean the difference between "striving to keep alive" and deciding for palliative care.

I know that your mum is very ill kitty and I hope that between you you are able to make the right decisions on her behalf.

kittylester Thu 01-Jan-15 16:24:35

My brother spent quite a time with her this afternoon,.telling her that we are all going to die but it's not her time yet and she should keep taking her medication.

While she was in hospital over Christmas she kept getting hysterical about not being able to breath and that she didn't want to die. Her father was a Catholic and she went to a really strict convent school where there was a lot of talk if fires of hell etc!

She has an end of life plan which everyone , including GPS, home staff etc are comfortable with.

You could be right Agus and they have been told to stick to the party line!

I'm so impressed by my youngest brother as he is as cross with mum as I am yet spent ages talking to her today. I'm not sure I could have done! sad. He doesn't go that often but he kisses her hello and goodbye. I go much more often but can't touch mum confused

Mishap Thu 01-Jan-15 17:09:59

Sometimes it is easier for sons than daughters when it comes to mothers.

Agus Thu 01-Jan-15 17:42:37

As your younger brother doesn't spend as much time with your mum, he will have a lot more to talk to your mum about whereas you seeing your mum much more often, it's very difficult to come up with lots of interesting chat.

I don't know if your brother and mum had a tactile relationship before her illness, either way, I would think he feels a need to have that with her.

We are all,different kitty, there is no right or wrong way for any of us to deal with whatever we have to face.

thatbags Thu 01-Jan-15 18:37:06

Kindly spoken, agus, and so right.

Mishap Thu 01-Jan-15 19:01:07

We know kitty that you have done all you can.

Brendawymms Thu 01-Jan-15 19:16:18

Within dementia care there is discussion about reorientation to get people to the here and now and if that is a good idea or not.
Such as someone asking to see their husband/ mother etc and told that they had died. That is reorientation them as is reminding them of the date and time or that they are dying.
Personally I always thought it cruel, whilst not a great idea to go along with disorientated thought it can be talked around. Such as a dementing person asking for their mum. It's no good saying mum is coming, when been dead many years, but better to get the person about their mum and what she liked to wear, cook etc.
To keep telling a person with dementia that they are dying is very distressing over and over. Better to talk about more happy things.

Don't know if that is what the query is but if it is hopes its useful.

Grannyknot Thu 01-Jan-15 21:34:20

If it is about informing someone with dementia that they are dying, I think that is unnecessary. Appalling in fact.

Good for your brother kitty