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Rent a Friend!

(30 Posts)
Kirdan Wed 21-Jan-15 09:58:30

The title is of course a joke but the thought behind it is not. I live in the NE of Scotland and am on my own for about 11 hours a day every single weekday. There must be other guys like me with lots of time on their hands who would welcome a bit of male company but just don't know how to go about getting it. Any idea?

PS If this post is in the wrong place I apologise.

pompa Wed 21-Jan-15 10:08:06

Perfect place for the thread. Good idea, us men aren't so good at getting together.

Anya Wed 21-Jan-15 10:10:05

Welcome Kirdan. I'm not male, but I'm sure we can all come up with some suggestions for finding you some company. Firstly when are theses 11 hours?

Is it that you have a partner who works and you don't so you're alone all day?

Kirdan Wed 21-Jan-15 10:44:53

Thanks for the rapid replies. 8am - 7pm but 9am - 4pm ideal.

ninathenana Wed 21-Jan-15 11:41:21

I don't know if they have anything in your area but have you heard of The Shed Project ??

It's for mature guys who get together to socialize and work on various projects basically in a big shed smile they do woodworking and other things.

pompa Wed 21-Jan-15 12:20:47

Never heard of this project, just looked at their web site, looks to be a great idea.

pompa Wed 21-Jan-15 12:26:40

I see that there are several sheds around the Inverness area

rubylady Wed 21-Jan-15 15:18:14

Thanks for this. I have just looked at a shed nearby for my dad. He misses his work colleagues and the camaraderie that working as a welder brought him. I hope he can go and feel a bit better. smile

annodomini Wed 21-Jan-15 16:18:24

This is the link for the Scottish Men's Sheds Association. Good luck.

Anya Wed 21-Jan-15 16:18:33

Heard of these 'SHEDS' they are ostentatiously for wood work but the one near us always seems to end their day in the Dirty Duck.

FlicketyB Thu 22-Jan-15 09:44:53

Never heard of them until now. What a brilliant idea.

glammanana Thu 22-Jan-15 11:23:20

I heard of it a while ago it was on TV promoting the scheme,now I'm not sure when it was on TV I think it was in a competition for extra Lottery Funding I may be wrong but it rings a bell.

Elegran Thu 22-Jan-15 12:04:57

The page linked to has a very good video. I think it is that programme.

Katek Thu 22-Jan-15 14:21:53

Are you talking about Aberdeenshire or are you up in Caithness?

Elegran Thu 22-Jan-15 15:02:30

Map of locations of sheds in the Men's Sheds Association.

Eloethan Thu 22-Jan-15 17:17:25

I saw a TV item about the Shed Project and it looked really good.

I do hope you find something Kirdan.

Kirdan Sat 24-Jan-15 17:30:44

Aberdeen/Aberdeenshire. Have had a look at 'clubs' including a couple of 'sheds' but am not really into get togethers. Lost my best friend Many years ago and have found it so difficult to find someone else on a similar footing. That said, I know that there are many out there in the same boat.

Elegran Sat 24-Jan-15 17:54:38

I think you have to get out there and go to something, Kirdan and let the friendships develop. You are not going to find a new best friend just by wishing and snapping your fingers. You have to talk to people and see what shared interests you have and whether you get on well together.

You may not meet anyone to match your old friend, but you will meet others who are in the same boat as yourself, as you say, and among them there will be some who you will look forward to chatting to the next time you meet.

I thought the sheds looked good - if you are not into the doing bit you can just mess around and talk to people while they do their thing.

FlicketyB Sat 24-Jan-15 18:05:57

Kirdan, In one of today's papers someone wrote to an agony aunt with your problem. The answer was sympathy for your position. If you are not someone who enjoys taking the initiative in seeking social contacts, it is difficult. But at the end of the day you can only find new friends by going out to places where you are likely to meet them, and they meet you.

Yes, there are many people out there like you, sitting in their houses waiting for someone to knock on the door and offer to befriend them but, if you all sit inside and wait for people to come to you that is just not going to happen. The only solution is for you to go out into situations where you are likely to meet other people and have the opportunity to meet someone who will become a friend.

The best, no, the only way, to do that is by finding some organisation that reflects your interests and operates on a social basis. This is why Gnetters have suggested groups like the Men's Shed Association, Ramblers Association, University of the Third Age. Other possibilities are doing a voluntary work, a very varied sector. There may be a volunteer opportunity that would benefit, perhaps from your work experience, or other specialist knowledge.

Go online and search for activities going on in your area. Some local authority sites often have a volunteers register. Your local library will have posters about local groups and possibly more information if you ask Quite often groups will advertise with notices in shop windows and on local notice boards.

The ball is in your court. Only you can pick it up and hit it.

etheltbags1 Sat 24-Jan-15 21:51:16

kirdan, pity you do not live in Newcastle, I could keep you employed for a good few hours a week, you could take me to hospital appointments, do my heavy housework, do the garden in summer and in return I would feed you, do any sewing/mending etc that you needed done. I had this arrangement with a guy a few years ago and it worked fine till he found a girlfriend who was jealous.
This arrangement would avoid my asking advice on gnet if I should start a relationship (see living alone) and some of the acid remarks I got from some of the women.
anyone in my area interested. let me know lol

Anya Sat 24-Jan-15 22:53:01


Anya Sat 24-Jan-15 22:53:45

That didn't work ethel wink

Kirdan Sun 25-Jan-15 09:01:34

Etheltbags you have given me an idea. Although I am not a tradesman, apart from home decorating and mending cars, I can do all sorts of DIY and might find the company I need by offering my services for free. There must be lots of people who things done but can't afford them or just put them on the back burner. And I can drive others here, there and everywhere. Food for thought indeed. Thank you etb1!

FlicketyB Sun 25-Jan-15 15:17:14

Kirdan Speak to your Local Age UK branch. Many of them have 'Handyman' schemes where accredited people go out to older people's homes to do simple repairs and DIY. You will probably need a Criminal Record Check.

Retiredguy Sun 25-Jan-15 15:32:37

Great thread Kirdan.
Good luck with your search.
I'm a newbie here and joined with a view to asking something similar.
Retired last September, downsized from a busy town with lots going on to the ( quite remote) seaside in October?
Now bored out of my skull.
My wife has found lots for women with WI, Craft Morning , weightwatchers and 'stitch n bitch' sewing circle but there's sod all for men apart from the one pub and I'm reluctant to chance that.
Been on the wagon for fifteen years and don't fancy getting back into pubs and such.
Nearest town with volunteer opps is twelve miles away so that's a non starter really.