Someone tell me not to speak my mind..

Anya, you've got absolutely no reason to feel stupid I bet many GMs see more or do more for some GCs than others.
Certainly my parents saw more of their GCs who lived closer than mine, who saw more of their paternal GPs.
There wasn't and isn't any jealousy involved, that was just happistance.
It sounds as if you've cracked it!
Just as babies don't come with an instruction manual neither do we!
x

Not stupid at all Anya, none of us are mind readers. I think if more people talked instead of texting and communicating via social media, things would be a lot easier. I had to come on here yesterday and re-read all the advice given in order to stop myself from ringing my DD and 'having a go' at her for once again putting us off from visiting. I was fuming but read the good advice on here and let it go. Then lo and behold last night she texted to apologise! Now I can count on one hand the number of times she has ever apologised to me or anyone else. Progress maybe?

Progress certainly KatyK I'm really pleased that the advice on here helped you too

Yes it did Anya. Helped me to keep it zipped. Thank you and well done to you.

Hello,

I am a granny to be, so I can't speak from granny experience but maybe from the DIL perspective... I have a MIL who helps us heaps and I wouldn't know what to do without her she is a lovely lady and I care about her very much - and that said if she was feeling upset about me and my approach I would hope she would tell me not bottle it up as these things never really go away, something like recently I have felt you are unhappy with me and I don't understand why I love having my grandchildren are you ok? A bit of an opener but it gives her the opportunity to say how she feels and I would say it with your son present too. If she doesn't say anything to you but raises it later with your son he is likely to say well mum did ask why didn't you say? Just a thought but I would approach them together in a caring way with a script in your head x

All good advice here. I have a friend who tells me to speak my mind to my DIL but I just think it would cause too much bad feeling and once it's been said you can't take it back. Mine tells me nothing about my two GDs I have to ask everything. Never says when first tooth came in,first steps taken,peanut allergy discovered. Her mum looks after the children while she works,I used to help out but I moved house and don't drive. Nothing would please me more than to help out although I have oldest for overnight stays. I'll never be close to her as it's been over ten years now. So it's put up and shut up for a quiet life.