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Not sure how to feel

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Parcs Thu 02-Apr-15 17:34:56

I have fallen out with my daughter after she and her husband and son moved in with us..She was selfish, dis respectful, thoughtless untidy, lazy, and I can honestly say that I am now of the opinion that she is the most un caring person I have known.

I could take no more and explained that she would have to move out and the main reason I made this decision was because all the upset and arguing was effecting all of us and my husband has high blood pressure, so it was a complete nightmare.

when she lived with me, if we had an argument she would involve baby, and if I were holding him, she would snatch him out of my hands and say "don't carry her I don't want you to but when we were not arguing she asked me to help with baby most of the time ..she, on a few occasions told me that I meant nothing to her and nearly every argument we had, she would say"and stay away from me and my family"

She was very un grateful for all the help we gave including financially

Here is my problem now I am still quite upset with all the horrid things she said and done and she visits ..very short visits .. my husband speaks to her as if she said none of the horrid things she said and did none of the horrid things she did and I get quite angry inside and do not know how to deal with that.

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appygran Sat 04-Apr-15 09:46:57

Oh and I meant to say that there is some very good advice on here parcs

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KatyK Sat 04-Apr-15 11:12:10

appy gran - your post resonated with me. My DD's in-laws have treated her appallingly in the past. They decided that they felt 'left out' on DD and SIL's wedding day and totally ruined the day. There have been other things as well. Now they are flavour of the month for some reason and get treated very well indeed and are included in everything and we are not. I have racked my brains to try to think what we have done that is so bad. We have always been there for her through thick and thin and I now feel she has 'moved on' which is natural, but she hasn't moved on from them. It's hurtful and upsetting but as you say where there are grandchildren it's best to stay quiet. Not easy. flowers for all on here.

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appygran Sat 04-Apr-15 17:47:35

Thank you for your reply KatyK. I do think that if you make a doormat of yourself people will wipe their feet on you. So new resolution for me, not to be so accommodating, if I have other plans when asked to child mind I will not change them, which I have been doing, unless it is an emergency. I sometimes feel that they think they are doing me a favour asking me to do child care when in reality the gain is mostly theirs. I do love my daughter and gd but my life is important too and there is a lot more to life than children and grandchildren.

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Tegan Sun 05-Apr-15 16:10:32

I make that resolution every now and again and as soon as the phone rings I drop everything to help. As usual, the S.O. and I are on our own this Easter and my children are with various family members sad.

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appygran Sun 05-Apr-15 18:26:16

Me too Tegan but made the best of it and had a walk on the beach and lunch out with dh.

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Parcs Mon 06-Apr-15 15:02:04

Well appy gran you have what is most important, your granddaughter and daughter. smile

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snapdog Fri 10-Apr-15 16:06:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Parcs Sat 11-Apr-15 10:41:20

appygran I have to agree with you about the door mat thing, can you imagine asking your Mum to constantly babysit, we brought our own up with no help, or baby sitting. I love baby sitting but they are so un appreciative when you agree to stop everything and baby sit, that it makes you not want to do it.

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