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Hopeless dilemma

(215 Posts)
Luckygirl Wed 01-Jul-15 20:56:29

Let me first say that I have changed my username to Luckygirl, and many of you will realise that this is something of a joke, given my previous name, and will be able to use that hint to work out who I am.

But seriously - my poor DD and her OH are in a terrible dilemma. My DD rang me yesterday in a very tearful state to tell me that her children were being babysat by her in-laws and when she returned FIL (who is not an easy character - this is an understatement) was playing a very rough game with one of her sons, aged 3. The little lad was being teased and goaded, and eventually hit his FIL, who responded by walloping him hard 4 times on the bum. My DD just swept the child up and took him from the room. Needless to say we are all very distressed by this.

DD's OH is away at present and will be for most of the summer (although DD and children will join him for brief periods during that time). FIL is integral to the business they run, so the possibility of just giving him hell is not an option. They are also aware that if they say anything about it, he is such a stubborn man that he would just fold the business and cut off all communication. Their livelihood would be at risk.

SIL is livid and very distressed - he is away from his family and DD is in fact ill - I have just returned from taking care of her. It is a dreadful muddle and I am beyond knowing how to respond. I am just giving DD and her children as much support and love as I can.

What do others feel about FIL's action? I am so angry and upset that I not sure I can look at this in a rational way.

Alea Thu 09-Jul-15 13:41:33

Wondering if there has been any progress here?
Not a thing you would want to have hanging over the family.

Ana Thu 09-Jul-15 13:46:23

I don't think Luckygirl is going to post again on this thread, according to her post of 11.47 on Monday.

SuzieB Sat 11-Jul-15 13:12:59

The second saddest thing about this thread is the way some people have been intolerant - and I don't just mean those that 'tell it like it is'! Stand back a minute and ask yourself what you want from GN. It surely can't be arguing your corner no matter what. Be kind to each other - even to people you violently disagree with and, no, I'm not a bleeding heart soppy goody-goody. But as I get older I feel, more and more, that if a group of people on here (and on Ravelry, to which I belong) can't agree to disagree, whilst still holding their own views, there's not much change of World Peace, is there?!

Bellanonna Sat 11-Jul-15 13:41:45

The voice of reason SuzieB. There are others who feel like you do, and who express these feelings from time to time. I find the sniping and point scoring pathetic, And this from an older generation who should have learnt by now to be polite in disagreement. I think on balance, though, it is a small minority who indulge in that behaviour and people for the most part are kind and compassionate, being aware that it is the OP who has raised the initial point, and showing sympathy to her/him and avoiding getting embroiled in other people's pops at one another.

annodomini Sat 11-Jul-15 13:42:15

So true, SuzieB.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 11-Jul-15 18:07:43

What the flip has world peace got to do with Gransnet?! Come on! hmm

Tegan Sat 11-Jul-15 18:17:13

Gaia....

Marelli Sat 11-Jul-15 18:38:41

'Of the Earth', Tegan? Is that right?

Tegan Sat 11-Jul-15 18:49:40

Yes; can't say I can explain/understand it but feel it's right [if that makes sense confused].

Marelli Sat 11-Jul-15 19:08:10

smile One of the kindest women I've ever met was Pagan. She named herself 'S..... de Gaia'. I think you and I share the same sentiments, Tegan.

annsixty Sat 11-Jul-15 19:29:55

Didn't Emma Thompson call her Daughter Gaia? Totally irrevelant of course.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 11-Jul-15 19:35:54

Ok. Twenty quid each way on Gaia it is then. Thanks Tegan.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 11-Jul-15 19:53:45

Do you get many come through like that Tegan?

Tegan Sat 11-Jul-15 20:26:25

If you mean winners I don't get them at all these days sad. Lost £2 on George the other day; will have a serious word with him if I see him next week grin#nopolosfor'im