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4 yr olds unkind behaviour

(105 Posts)
Granarchist Mon 02-Nov-15 14:09:35

DD is worried about her (just) 4yr old's lack of empathy with other children.
He caused an accident to another child by driving his bike at the other child, and even when it was obvious by the amount of blood that it could have been serious - he carried on and had to be forcibly removed from the bike. He showed no concern whatever and although he repeatedly said sorry on the way home, it was obvious that that was because he knew he was in trouble, rather than really being sorry. Is he too young to have empathy with others and to realise the serious nature of what he did and the sheer unkindness of not caring? It is not the first time he has behaved like this and DD is really worried.

annodomini Wed 11-Nov-15 14:44:46

My kindly 11-year-old GS is a shining exception to that rule, TriciaF. Last week when I was staying there, I'd just trudged up hill to their house and GS took one look at me and said, 'You look a bit puffed, Granny, would you like me to make you a cup of tea?' I was so grateful! I don't have favourites among my GC, but he came close at that moment.

TriciaF Wed 11-Nov-15 16:04:04

Lovely smile - there must be exceptions.

Granarchist Mon 16-Nov-15 21:22:24

This has been most instructive. and helpful. I did avoid two bits of fairly vital info. He is a twin. He is DDs stepson. So there will be other stuff going on. I don't think for one minute the accident was an intentional event. It was the boy's reaction that shook DD. She is doing a brilliant job with them but anxious to do the right thing at all times. A perfectionist. I have told her child rearing is not an exact science! Instinct goes a long way.

Elrel Mon 16-Nov-15 22:22:51

You are giving your daughter great advice - I hope it all gradually sorts out.