I look older than I feel

If you think photos are cruel, what about Facetime - argh!

I have huge bags under one eye and look bloody awful! Mind you, I must be the most unphotogenic person in the world anyway, I have always looked appalling, though my mirror some days makes me look half way reasonable. Wonder why that is?

Just to say, rather than dying hair yourself it would be good to find a really good hairdresser and have a consultation with them about style and colour then, if you like them, go for it. I think it's really worth paying as much as you can for professional hair cut and colour, as your hair is with you all the time. I get my brows as well as lashes tinted regularly too.
Not sure if you're happy with your current moisturisers etc but can really recommend Clarins and Sarah Chapman serums and moisturisers for 'mature' skin.

My OH is always taking shots of me and invariably I look like some manic, aged twit!

downto earth you obviously enjoy life so bother the photos, go out sideways, glass in hand saying 'wow what a ride'.

I find it very unnerving to look in a mirror and it is my Grandma looking back haha !!

Someone once told me we dont like pics of ourselves as we look in a mirror and camera shoes us pics of how we really are ?

Not quite the same problem ,as in real life I am told I look a lot younger than my 65 years and I think I probably do -my skin is good and relatively unwrinkled and my hair is 'still'dark brown,with help..And I do wear what I believe to be discreet, flattering make up .I still have long eyelashes too (not a boast just a fact).And my (brutally honest) daughters tell me I'm 'really pretty'(they are kind enough not to add the rider 'for my age').
But I have never photographed well , even in youth ,and I now really hate pictures of myself, to the extent I will go to any lengths to avoid anyone taking them . Just as well I've always been the family photographer so there aren't many ..Perhaps it's to do with face shape?
I do have one taken by DD1 on my 65th birthday which I quite like.I am all dressed up (for the opera !) Its slightly and unintentionally soft focus. I can't use It for the next 15 years though can I ?Am just resigned .At least when old friends see me in real life they will be pleasantly surprised after some of the pics on Face Book
i wouldn't dye your hair OP Wish I'd never started and seriously considering biting the bullet and letting it go silver .

I well remember the first time I looked in a magnifying mirror, it was horrible. I was about 50. I still look in one occasionally and don't mind now as I'm 70 this year.

The problem with photography these days is the speed of the camera compared to the old days when you had to stand still and pose.

Wrinkles show you have laughed.
Grey hair shows you have cared.
Scars show you have lived.

This sort of cheers me up.

Oh I'm the guilty party in this . I'm a bit of an amateurr photographer and most of my world is viewed through a lens !

I used to just point and shoot but now I'm much more aware of the 'background'. So although I take ad hoc pictures of the children inevitably adults are in the pictures too.

You could ask your SiL to 'crop' you out of the pictures? If you really hate them.

Or set up one picture where you know you'll look at your best and get him to upload only that one of you.

Some of my best pictures are of the interaction between adults and children and to be honest people hardly notice the adult. No comfort I'm sure but these are pictures your children and grandchildren WILL cherish of you in years to come x

The mirror I use to do my makeup must be quite flattering although i don't wear much eye makeup - no eyelashes to speak of and it makes my eyes run anyway!, It is only when I get away from it I catch sight of a haggard old woman plodding along. And I really hate seeing photos of myself; the medication I am on causes odoema so my eyes are puffy.
With a couple of professional photographers in the family I have been told how to angle my head and how to stand for the most flattering pose, but seem unable to manage it and, after exasperation followed by giggles, they have given up on me. They tell me I look 'lovely' but I know I don't.

Photoshopping? Soft focus lens?

I never look in a magnifying mirror unless I feel very strong and brace myself!

Faces dropping mean that the cheekbones stand out more so accentuate them.

The camera can be cruel. After all it only catches a moment in time and in reality our faces are constantly moving with different expressions. Try to consciously smile a bit more so that in RL you look happier. I think sometimes as we age, get older, more tired, we can look a bit miserable, even if we don't feel like that (though perhaps sometimes we do).

A happy, smiley face, no matter how old, always looks better.

Anyone over 55 can look a bit jowly at the hairdressers. I used to have blonde low lights with the cap where they pull your hair through. I looked like some sort of elderly alien in the mirror.

My face has fallen! I hadn't realised until I went to the hairdresser to get a good bit cut off. I'd been cutting it myself over the past couple of years, but as it had reached below my shoulder-blades, I thought I'd nip along and get it cut properly.
It must've been the sitting down in front of a mirror that made my face settle down a bit further, giving me 'sort of' jowls .
I always look terrible in photos, even when I try and pose for them, anyway.

A good haircut may help.

i've always looked completely ridiculous in just about photograph of me that has ever been taken. I try to avoid cameras, but if someone does snap me, then what the hell – I've always looked ridiculous so age plays no part.

Dyeing thinning hair isn't always a good thing. You might like to try a thickening lotion and shampoos for grey/white hair.

Work out which colours suit you. Take a few selfies if you've got a Smartphone.

Hoop earrings look nice and pretty necklaces, long ones are best as they draw attention away from the face.

Subtle eye make up is another idea, maybe foundation and some mascara.

You could have a lot of fun working out how to look younger in photos.

I think when mums and dads are taking photos of the children they concentrate on the children and not on Gran. I've learnt to adjust my posture when the camera is about.

We are alive, we are active and involved in our and our children and GC lives. We are fully into IT to keep us up to date. So we look our age!!, be grateful for what we do have and forget what we don't have. We are the lucky ones. A century ago we would have been in the worst war the world has known. Have I made you feel better?

roses I agree about the mirrors. I felt quite good about myself today until I caught a glimpse of myself mirrored in the double oven and thought
'who is that hunched little old woman who has shambled her way into my kitchen?' But, sadly, it was me. I have always stayed away from cameras too.

Deedaa you definitely do not look your age. I am sure you look the same now as you did then.

A friend who hasn't seen me for 16 years saw a recent photo of me with the grandsons. Her comment was that I hadn't changed a bit. I don't know whether to be pleased that I haven't noticeably aged over the last 16 years, or to be appalled that she thought I looked so ancient when she last saw me

I have come to terms with the fact I am an old hag

I'm actually quite horrified at how much I seem to have aged in the past few years, natural ageing I expect plus the traumas of serious illness and bereavement.

I tend to avoid mirrors these days, whereas in my younger years I was always checking on my appearance.

A good primer makes quite a difference, I use the Boots one but more and more are coming out all the time, some of them tinted.