marylane1996, if your DGD says she thanked you for the birthday money, then frankly it is rather rude of you to keep going on about it, you are making the girl feel awkward. Be thankful that she is growing into a caring young woman, supporting her partner, and I think your implication that her partner's recently deceased grandfather is lower down in the pecking order than you are as her grandmother is part of the problem. You have no rights to grandchildren, none of us do, don't keep looking back with regret at happier times, be glad for what you have; a grandson who has made a remarkable recovery, and granddaughter who keeps in touch, albiet not as often as you would like. She is a young adult with responsibilities, and surely you want her to visit because she wants to see you, not due to some obligation or feeling of guilt?