teenage DGD probs

I hadn't even noticed that this was an old thread, Nana3. Yes, it would be interesting, and maybe helpful to marylane, to see how she's getting on now, wouldn't it?

Havent been on for ages. My grandson for those who read previously knew I was worried I would be stopped from seeing him in hospital and sadly I was right. Anyway he had the op was awfully ill for several weeks and has now shocked everyone as he can now not only walk but jump on the trampoline. No limp any more it is wonderful. My problem now is my 19 year old granddaughter who had a birthday a couple of months backs and has never thanked me for the money I gave her. She thinks I am losing the plot as she is adamant she said thank you and it is really upsetting as she has no contact with me except to say her and the boyfriend are fine. Last text I cannot understand she said she is under a lot of stress as boyfriends granddad has just died which of course she is upset but has no time to see me as she has to be around to view the body and say goodbye then go to the funeral. I feel so upset that she cant fit me into her life but a boyfriends granddad is more important. I have seen her five times this year and feel so hurt. Anyone got any suggestions what I can do

well* Marylane1996* just be thankful you're still alive,If she says she thanked you beleive her,it may just have slipped your mind and be happy that she's a caring young woman supporting her BF through his loss.She's 19 ...let her make her own choices,if she wants to see you she will ...but if your hypercritical of her and her cjoices ...she wont

How often would you like to see her? Five times this year is about every six weeks. Once a month? Every week? It's all to do with expectations really. Hers seem to be very different to yours.

Teenagers are horrible. They don't really mean to be. It's just the nature of the beast. That said don't let her get away with murder.

I remember reading a while ago that they have a final spurt of brain growth and whilst it's concentrating on the new bit the brain cuts back on other bits including the area that controls empathy. That's why one night Snow White dances up to bed and the next morning Godzilla stomps down the stairs.

Go with the healthy eating route as long as she's eating enough it won't hurt her. My DD1 was a veggie for all of a week before she missed bacon and Mars Bars too much .

The only consolation I can offer is that they do grow out of it.

marylane1996, if your DGD says she thanked you for the birthday money, then frankly it is rather rude of you to keep going on about it, you are making the girl feel awkward. Be thankful that she is growing into a caring young woman, supporting her partner, and I think your implication that her partner's recently deceased grandfather is lower down in the pecking order than you are as her grandmother is part of the problem. You have no rights to grandchildren, none of us do, don't keep looking back with regret at happier times, be glad for what you have; a grandson who has made a remarkable recovery, and granddaughter who keeps in touch, albiet not as often as you would like. She is a young adult with responsibilities, and surely you want her to visit because she wants to see you, not due to some obligation or feeling of guilt?