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Urgent advice needed - new sibling about to appear!!

(31 Posts)
townie Sun 15-May-16 06:11:37

Hello,
We've just been called over to our DS 's house to take charge of our lovely 2 year old GS while his mum goes to hospital to produce a new sister. G S still asleep.

I meant to read up on all this, but baby's arriving a little early.
Help, please, what did you tell your GC under similar circumstances about where their mum is and what she's doing ???
Any advice gratefully received.

Jane10 Sun 15-May-16 07:03:43

Wonder what your DS and DiL has told him? Actually this happened to us too. Our GS then aged just 2 came to stay with us for , in the end, 4 days while baby produced then in hosp for 3 days then settling back home. I honestly can't remember what we told GS. The excitement of it all took over for him (and us). We were fully occupied keeping him busy and he was excited to be staying with us. He does think that hospitals are where you go to get babies though despite knowing that his baby brother was in his Mummy's tummy. Good luck. A busy and slightly worrying day ahead for you all!

Marmark1 Sun 15-May-16 08:41:31

Mine was just two(exactly two years between them) she wouldn't have understood anyway.

ninathenana Sun 15-May-16 09:29:48

GS was nearly 3 when his brother was born. H and I moved into D's house as they lived an hour and a half away at the time. He knew mummy had his little brother in her tummy and had been told she was going to the hospital so the doctors could help mummy get him out (caesarean)
He was completely accepting of this as he had spent several nights at ours due to it being a difficult pregnancy. So sleeping in his own bed with nannie and grandad in charge was fine.

Luckygirl Sun 15-May-16 09:57:07

I told her the truth!

trisher Sun 15-May-16 10:24:32

If he doesn't know by now what is going on you have a lot of ground to cover. My GD (nearly 2years old) knew exactly what was going on and had been regularly communicating with "the baby in mummy's tummy". When I stayed to mind her she knew where mummy was and that a baby would be coming home with her. DIL was only in hospital overnight, baby was brought home the next morning and I went home. You could look out some photos of him as a baby and tell him mummy is going to bring him a baby to be his little sister. MY DIL had a present from baby for my GD and one from GD for baby. GD played with both of course!

JackyB Sun 15-May-16 11:22:11

My 3rd DS was born when my 2nd DS was 5. He asked how it all happened, but I think he lost interest half way through. My MiL took over when I went into hospital to have No 2 and No 3 and I think she managed really well.

As for what to say - the main thing is that what you say fits in with what the parents have been telling him. It is a shame if he hasn't had the introduction that Trisher describes, watching the bump grow and talking to the baby.

Candelle Sun 15-May-16 11:49:02

We took the 'Mummy and Daddy have made a baby brother/sister for you, aren't you lucky. I wonder what present he/she has brought for you?', route.

When you visit in hospital with your GS, ensure that the new arrival is in its cot NOT in mummy's arms. Tell your grandson he can go and look at HIS new brother/sister and ensure that the present 'from the baby' is at the bottom/next to the cot.

Ensure that this first moment of contact between the children is only for them - let your GS explore the baby and cot (he'll need lifting up but let him have that moment without adult interference).

Continue to engender the new baby being a possession of the firstborn and ask him to be proactive at bringing and fetching things, for example, 'can you reach the nappy over there for me? What a helpful boy!' etc.

Layer it on very thickly and hope for the best!!

harrigran Sun 15-May-16 12:43:35

For thousands of years women have been having babies, now we are tiptoeing round the elder child, new baby bringing gifts. I had my second baby at home, eldest asleep in the next room, when she got up for breakfast she had a new baby brother. She looked at him patted his head and went about her normal day, no questions just acceptance. Way too much fuss and pussyfooting nowadays.

Newquay Sun 15-May-16 15:38:17

Yes I know what you mean harrigran-it!s the same with everything. My DGC were horrified when I told them about when I started grammar school-I was the only girl from my junior school. Parents (I think!) suggested I hang about the corner of the market square and see if I saw anyone I could walk with. I saw a girl on her own, said "you starting today?" She said yes so we strolled down together. None of all this fuss today. . . .

f77ms Sun 15-May-16 16:49:57

I agree about the pussy footing too . Children just accept things very easily if you don`t make a fuss .

NanKate Sun 15-May-16 17:08:23

Our older GS now 5 did not take to his new brother now 3 at all well. He took any opportunity to stand on his toes and generally be horrid to him. He became a total pain the the ar** and went into meltdowns regularly. When we took him out on his own he would say 'will HE still be there when we get home'.

Then the youngest began to assert himself and even play with his brother. Slowly, very slowly things have settled down and when the eldest left for school after the Easter hols he said 'I will miss you brother'. We were flabbergasted. grin

RedheadedMommy Sun 15-May-16 18:01:55

We had already warned our daughter that Mommy and daddy was going to the hospital to have her new sister!

My parents took her to the park, had ice cream, went to the toy shop, had more ice cream, went to cinema...you get the idea.

When our daughter came to the hospital the next day to see us, she told us she had such a good time and couldn't wait for me to have another baby so she could do it all again hmmgrin

Her baby sister had bought her big sister lots of cool things, a 'big sister' top and a new toy she had desperately wanted. That won her over!

Alea Sun 15-May-16 20:51:35

I really felt for my poor SIL when I was looking after the DGSs when DGD was born. He came back from the hospital for a shower, shave and to take the boys to see Mummy and new baby sister.
Over our late breakfast elder DGS (4) was asking "how the baby came out," " but HOW do the doctors get the baby out" , and "HOW did the baby get in there.?"
I am quite sure he was capable of answering their questions, but not after a night without sleep and specially not in front of his amused MIL!

numberplease Sun 15-May-16 22:56:47

I`m another who didn`t go in for any special preparation regarding new siblings with my five,they just appeared and were accepted, simples. We never had any jealousy problems.

annodomini Sun 15-May-16 23:04:31

Most of our GC will know other children who have siblings so should see it as perfectly normal that they will also soon have a brother or sister.

Newquay Mon 16-May-16 08:23:07

Well Townie-is baby here yet?😀

FarNorth Mon 16-May-16 08:33:32

Am I the only one who said I had a baby in my womb, explained as a special place for the baby to be, and not in my tummy?
Don't children find the baby/tummy situation a bit confusing?

Townie, I hope all went well.

harrigran Mon 16-May-16 09:00:33

FarNorth at just two years of age I did not feel the need to explain where baby was or came from, 2year olds don't understand anyway. Toddlers do not notice the enlarged tummy, I was ten when my sibling was born and I never noticed mother getting bigger. I only realised a baby was coming when mother went into labour and Dad assembled the cot and let me put the sheet and blankets in.

annodomini Mon 16-May-16 09:46:46

I must have been told that Mum was expecting a baby because allegedly I informed one and all that: 'I'm going to have a baby brudder.' It turned out to be a sister but I remember being thrilled when she arrived.

GrannyJane Mon 16-May-16 10:46:55

A lot depends on the age of the older child(ren), I think. We will be in the same situation in a month's time when the older sister will be 21 months. I'm not worried about explaining about the birth because she won't be interested. But it will be difficult for her when the baby arrives because she will have to share her mum (and everyone else). It was a lot easier with the other grandchildren, with an age gap of nearly three years (the same as between my own children). I agree with putting a present from the baby to the big sister in the cot, and for visitors to basically ignore the baby at first when they visit, while making a fuss of the older one. I know she'll get used to it because she won't have a choice, but there are lots of little things you can do to make it easier for her (and therefore for everyone else!).

townie Mon 16-May-16 11:00:00

Hello. Thanks to all.
A lovely new granddaughter appeared after a very short labour and my DDIL was allowed home last night. By that time, our DGS had been out with sub to kick a football on the common, had a nice lunch with ice cream and gone home for the night to our house.

He had been talking about the baby in mummy's tummy with his parents for some while. I told him Mummy and Daddy had gone to hospital to get the new baby. His reply was'Oh - where is my blue truck?'!
Just about to take him back to his house to meet the new arrival!

Lupatria Mon 16-May-16 11:27:06

my daughter was 3 when her brother was born. she knew that i had a baby in my tummy as she came with me to the antenatal examinations.
as it turned out, my son was born on her birthday so she was rather excited to have a baby brother as a present [although she wanted him sent back when she was about 7 as he was "faulty"].
we also bought our daughter her own baby complete with bath, pram and highchair [for her birthday] so when i bathed my son she bathed baby too .............. and she also changed nappies and fed her baby at the same time. and put baby in the pram in the sunshine [or took baby for a walk] when i did.
fortunately there was no jealousy at all even though they fought like cat and dog when they were older.

Tessa101 Mon 16-May-16 12:20:49

Most definitely the truth. Congratulations flowers

hulahoop Mon 16-May-16 13:16:05

Congratulations townie another to cuddle 💐