Urgent advice needed - new sibling about to appear!!

Congratulations Townie??

Lovely news townie!

Went to the cinema when I was a week overdue. Arrived back with a baby. Luckily MIL was babysitting and able to sleep over. My first child was only 20 months old and, every time we went out after that she asked if we were bringing back a new baby. (Husband insisted on seeing the end of the film, even though labour started half way through. He's a Yorkshire man, and wanted to get his money's worth.)

Congratulations, townie.

harrigran it's a big mistake to think "2 year olds don't understand anyway".
It's clear townie's DGS did understand, at his own level.
My DGD is 2 & 1/2, and she is capable of understanding and asking all sorts of things. All children are different, of course, that's why it's wrong to make assumptions.

Our two year old GD went to the zoo with a friend (pre-arranged) and by the time she came home at 5, DD was back home, sitting having a cup of tea, and GD had had such a lovely day out, sat on DDs knee telling her everything she had seen, and it was some minutes before she noticed Nanny & Granpop were visiting, and what's more Nanny was holding a baby! Baby was born in hospital whilst we were on motorway, driving up from Devon to Leics, so we didn't have time to take over as was planned, but it really couldn't have been better. We felt afterwards that it was lovely that she got a big cuddle from DD before she was introduced to baby, oh and the baby had brought a present with her for GD (only small, but much wished for)

Congratulations townie another to cuddle ?

Most definitely the truth. Congratulations

my daughter was 3 when her brother was born. she knew that i had a baby in my tummy as she came with me to the antenatal examinations.
as it turned out, my son was born on her birthday so she was rather excited to have a baby brother as a present [although she wanted him sent back when she was about 7 as he was "faulty"].
we also bought our daughter her own baby complete with bath, pram and highchair [for her birthday] so when i bathed my son she bathed baby too .............. and she also changed nappies and fed her baby at the same time. and put baby in the pram in the sunshine [or took baby for a walk] when i did.
fortunately there was no jealousy at all even though they fought like cat and dog when they were older.

Hello. Thanks to all.
A lovely new granddaughter appeared after a very short labour and my DDIL was allowed home last night. By that time, our DGS had been out with sub to kick a football on the common, had a nice lunch with ice cream and gone home for the night to our house.

He had been talking about the baby in mummy's tummy with his parents for some while. I told him Mummy and Daddy had gone to hospital to get the new baby. His reply was'Oh - where is my blue truck?'!
Just about to take him back to his house to meet the new arrival!

A lot depends on the age of the older child(ren), I think. We will be in the same situation in a month's time when the older sister will be 21 months. I'm not worried about explaining about the birth because she won't be interested. But it will be difficult for her when the baby arrives because she will have to share her mum (and everyone else). It was a lot easier with the other grandchildren, with an age gap of nearly three years (the same as between my own children). I agree with putting a present from the baby to the big sister in the cot, and for visitors to basically ignore the baby at first when they visit, while making a fuss of the older one. I know she'll get used to it because she won't have a choice, but there are lots of little things you can do to make it easier for her (and therefore for everyone else!).

I must have been told that Mum was expecting a baby because allegedly I informed one and all that: 'I'm going to have a baby brudder.' It turned out to be a sister but I remember being thrilled when she arrived.

FarNorth at just two years of age I did not feel the need to explain where baby was or came from, 2year olds don't understand anyway. Toddlers do not notice the enlarged tummy, I was ten when my sibling was born and I never noticed mother getting bigger. I only realised a baby was coming when mother went into labour and Dad assembled the cot and let me put the sheet and blankets in.

Am I the only one who said I had a baby in my womb, explained as a special place for the baby to be, and not in my tummy?
Don't children find the baby/tummy situation a bit confusing?

Townie, I hope all went well.

Well Townie-is baby here yet??

Most of our GC will know other children who have siblings so should see it as perfectly normal that they will also soon have a brother or sister.

I`m another who didn`t go in for any special preparation regarding new siblings with my five,they just appeared and were accepted, simples. We never had any jealousy problems.

I really felt for my poor SIL when I was looking after the DGSs when DGD was born. He came back from the hospital for a shower, shave and to take the boys to see Mummy and new baby sister.
Over our late breakfast elder DGS (4) was asking "how the baby came out," " but HOW do the doctors get the baby out" , and "HOW did the baby get in there.?"
I am quite sure he was capable of answering their questions, but not after a night without sleep and specially not in front of his amused MIL!

We had already warned our daughter that Mommy and daddy was going to the hospital to have her new sister!

My parents took her to the park, had ice cream, went to the toy shop, had more ice cream, went to cinema...you get the idea.

When our daughter came to the hospital the next day to see us, she told us she had such a good time and couldn't wait for me to have another baby so she could do it all again

Her baby sister had bought her big sister lots of cool things, a 'big sister' top and a new toy she had desperately wanted. That won her over!

Our older GS now 5 did not take to his new brother now 3 at all well. He took any opportunity to stand on his toes and generally be horrid to him. He became a total pain the the ar** and went into meltdowns regularly. When we took him out on his own he would say 'will HE still be there when we get home'.

Then the youngest began to assert himself and even play with his brother. Slowly, very slowly things have settled down and when the eldest left for school after the Easter hols he said 'I will miss you brother'. We were flabbergasted.

I agree about the pussy footing too . Children just accept things very easily if you don`t make a fuss .

Yes I know what you mean harrigran-it!s the same with everything. My DGC were horrified when I told them about when I started grammar school-I was the only girl from my junior school. Parents (I think!) suggested I hang about the corner of the market square and see if I saw anyone I could walk with. I saw a girl on her own, said "you starting today?" She said yes so we strolled down together. None of all this fuss today. . . .

For thousands of years women have been having babies, now we are tiptoeing round the elder child, new baby bringing gifts. I had my second baby at home, eldest asleep in the next room, when she got up for breakfast she had a new baby brother. She looked at him patted his head and went about her normal day, no questions just acceptance. Way too much fuss and pussyfooting nowadays.

We took the 'Mummy and Daddy have made a baby brother/sister for you, aren't you lucky. I wonder what present he/she has brought for you?', route.

When you visit in hospital with your GS, ensure that the new arrival is in its cot NOT in mummy's arms. Tell your grandson he can go and look at HIS new brother/sister and ensure that the present 'from the baby' is at the bottom/next to the cot.

Ensure that this first moment of contact between the children is only for them - let your GS explore the baby and cot (he'll need lifting up but let him have that moment without adult interference).

Continue to engender the new baby being a possession of the firstborn and ask him to be proactive at bringing and fetching things, for example, 'can you reach the nappy over there for me? What a helpful boy!' etc.

Layer it on very thickly and hope for the best!!

My 3rd DS was born when my 2nd DS was 5. He asked how it all happened, but I think he lost interest half way through. My MiL took over when I went into hospital to have No 2 and No 3 and I think she managed really well.

As for what to say - the main thing is that what you say fits in with what the parents have been telling him. It is a shame if he hasn't had the introduction that Trisher describes, watching the bump grow and talking to the baby.