Dummy debate

I don't think dummies were an American idea. I can remember many years ago in the rather backward rural area where I did some district nursing, babies were given a 'sugar-tit' - a spoonful of sugar tied into a bit of clean rag.
Babies naturally liked this very much, and their teeth decayed as they erupted. It was a dreadful practice born out of ignorance, but definitely not an American invention!

I never had one as a child, and swore my kids would not have one - MIL gave DD one when we were still in hospital, needless to say it didn't go down well with me, but the baby liked it, so we went with it. At the age of one i removed it during the day and at the age of two, at night. Really no problems. One good point for dummies is that they are easy to remove, you can't cut a thumb off, and I have a slightly misshapen finger from sucking!
The boy was much the same, and the youngest would not have anything to do with dummies and sucked fingers, but gave it up of her own accord when she was about seven.
What works works!!!

This seems more like a control/power issue from M-I-L ...? Now, I know that many of us are M-I-L's - My d-i-l is an ex.... but I follow every instruction, I adhere to all requests and I have the pleasure of my beautiful g/d every second weekend and any other time I would like.... If you want to see your g/c - then button it - trust me it's worth it! I take a huge amount of pleasure from the time I spend with my g/d - my own feelings are mine ... she is a gorgeous little girl and I treasure my time with her.

Dummies, chocolate - none of it matters in the end - it is all about building your relationship with your g/c ???

my DD does try but the other gran is very overpowering and backed up by her son who is Daddy. The other gran also allows chocolate by the bagful (family size) and DD has tried to hint she doesn't want her daughter eating lots of chocolate. It just goes on forever. The dummy was allowed today as DGD had a nose bleed and was very distressed.

I think your DD should make her own decisions eb1. There is evidence that they do cause dental problems, but these are minimized if the dummy is removed before 2. There are some benefits for very young babies. For an excellent,balanced viewpoint from a paediatric dental consultant who has her own children ask her to read www.toothfairyblog.org/will-using-a-dummy-damage-my-childs-teeth/
We all have emotional responses to dummies which sometimes affect our judgements.
"imports in the sixties" Gran2014? I seem to remember my mum talking about dummies way before that.

Dummies are dreadful : they inhibit speech-development, look appalling on little faces ( as if some horrendous plastic insect has landed ) and ensure that a child is only pacified if its mouth is full.

What a price we're paying now for a lazy American import in the 60's. Do let's encourage mothers to let their children babble - or even grizzle. The best comfort they can give is a cuddle and the best parenting doesn't always mean parents get peace and quiet when they want it..........

Just think of what's it's like to be a baby........ if you were upset, would you like a lump of plastic pushed into your mouth ? ....and later, when you wanted to start to talk, that lump of plastic made it impossible ?....worse, would you like to be dependent on that piece of plastic for a sense of security ?

Children are now starting school carting along their awful dummies. Please use all your influence to stop something which has long term pain for short term gain.

Paternal Grandparent forbids it ??? None of their business. The only way I'd step in was if my DCs were in danger, being hurt etc. How the parents bring up their children is up to them. If they ask for help offer it. Otherwise mind your own.

Really?? Does any of this matter?? How many pre-teens do you see with a dummy or sucking their thumb?
Our daughter had a dummy (she's 41 now) , never allowed it in the day, only for naps and bedtime and our son was a thumb sucker, with one of Dad's hankies as a 'tickler'.
As our daughter approached her 3rd Christmas she was told that if Father Christmas' fairies saw her with a dummy then she would only receive baby presents. Dummy was duly binned!!
Our son continued a bit longer with his thumb, but also only for naps and at bedtime; the hanky wasn't a problem, as it could be the first one dried on the line or one straight out of my husband's drawer. He had his 3rd birthday before he relinquished both, but no big trauma for either. The parents are the ones with authority surely??
For me, the worst thing is seeing an articulate toddler, out and about with Mum/Dad and 'talking' around a dummy!

It's not the grandparents' business to allow or not allow

Definitely parent's rules.... my gd had one which helped with her reflux problems.... it took a long time for her to give it up but she has no problems with teeth or speech... in fact she never stops talking ..LOL

It's a dummy for goodness sake - there are worse things ??

Our 18mnth old GD has one all the time and our 1week old GD was given one immediately, I hate dummies but it up to the parents not us, we try to always stick to the parents rules ( apart from ice cream and chocolate )

Parents rule. I look after my GC a lot but try very hard to abide by my daughter's rules for the children. It stops any conflict and the GC do not play off one against the other. Works for us all.

I never used one but one of my DDs did and it helped enormously. The only problem that arose was that if his dummy came out while he was sleeping during the night he could not retrieve it and put it back in himself when he was small - so a parent had to get up and re-install it!

It appears to have done him no harm; and it helped him through a difficult patch.

Parents' decision - not our place to even comment. Why would we?

www.facebook.com/300530023415519/videos/749069881894862/

Slightly different take on a pacifier, if it works that is!

I've never seen hard evidence of any child being damaged, or having dental problems from using a dummy, and I'm all in favour of them - much better than a fretful infant! Babies love to suck,and it encourages good jaw development. Unlike cave-woman, today's mum can't walk round all day with junior hanging off the nipple, so a dummy is an excellent substitute.
Having said that, I hate to see older babies and toddlers out in public with dummies stuck in their gobs - it's really not necessary, and it goes without saying that the dummy should be clean. I've seen some 'orrible, filthy examples in my time!

Dummies are better than thumbs ( for the teeth) but try and ditch them by about 2 years old.Should be parents rules, not grandparents.

Parents'rules - 'nuff said!!

I follow the parents' rules about the dummy. Don't particularly like dummies but they serve a function. I follow the parents' rules when granddaughter with me but found out they didn't follow their own rules!

My three year old grandson always had a dummy in his mouth. Then he suddenly decided he didn't want it any more. He went cold turkey, not even having it at night. He also discarded his "blankie" at the same time. I would never interfere in my grandchildren's upbringing. I will do whatever the parent decides.

Certainly not for the grandparents to decide! This is a decision for the parents and we grandparents should respect their choices.
Surely this thread is about respecting the parents' wishes rather than a debate on the pros and cons of dummies.

My daughter used to get car sick. Giving her a dummy in the car meant she would drift off to sleep and waken up on arrival so, of course, she was given one.

I really get cross when people get sanctimonious about something that really is no concern of theirs. Especially when they feel that they "must" pass on the benefit of their "knowledge". Right...... interfering more like.

Poor parents, they want to have the approval of their own parents, I am sure, but there are so many stresses upon young mums and dads these days. "We would never had done that in my day" re sleeping position, dummies, who knows what? Leave them alone. No child ever suffered long term damage through (e.g.) a dummy.

We've had our time with our own babies and most survived. Offer practical help, not criticism if you want to be a positive influence and not be someone to be dreaded.

I try very hard to be indifferent about dummies but deep down inside I really dislike them and didn't use them with my children. Sadly DD and her OH gave one to our GS. He is nearly 2 now and I do wish they would wean him off it soon.

I can understand it being used for sleeping or comfort but they plug it in whenever he's in the car, for no apparent reason. That's where I won't go along with them; he never has a dummy when I'm driving him anywhere on my own.

What really worries me now is that up until recently he never bothered about not having it but now he's started asking for it when he's in his car seat and grizzles for a while when he doesn't get it. Then he cheers up and is fine for the whole journey.

I long to ask my DD why they are encouraging/reinforcing a habit which will have to be broken (hopefully)fairly soon, but don't, in the interest of maintaining a good relationship!

I think the OP's co-gran is being obnoxiously interfering. Very sad that such a little thing is a cause of bother in the family, though.

How many times I have read such posts on many forums.

It's up to the parents, end of.....

I've yet to see how a dummy has affected speech or teeth even though my own children and their children have had them.

I believe in anything that gives a child the comfort he/she needs, when they need it.

I forgot to add that I didn't like the look of dummies when I had children and mine were thumb suckers and cloth strokers, it went on for quite a while, they don't do it now aged 26 and 30 Even though I still don't like dummies, I don't think a grandparent should take it upon themselves to ban a dummy if that's what their gc has become dependent on, it's entirely up to the parent/s.

One of the new things I was recently reading about babies, is that the powers that be now say, that babies should be given a dummy as it keeps the airways open and prevents cot death. Dummies certainly haven't done any harm to my DD four children.