Granddaughter says she is gay

My middle son didn't 'come out' until he was 21! It was such a relief when he did because it sort of all made sense then. I felt really bad that I hadn't noticed or helped him bring the subject up before then though. I kept it to myself for a while after because I felt it wasn't my business to tell people - after all, you don't go round telling people your child is heterosexual so why tell people they're gay. A lot of people said they'd realised anyway?So why hadn't I? The best one was my dad who was about 75 at the time and "old school". He totally accepted it and has always welcomed Steve's partners without any qualms. I myself was slightly shocked as in "gosh, I've got a gay son!" That lasted about a week until my brain had assimilated this new information then we celebrated his bravery and his new found ability to be exactly who he was, not who society thought he should conform to being. I love him unconditionally and wouldn't have him any other way??

You obviously have a lovely close caring family...

It has all been said I think.

This really isn't a difficult thing, you're just being overly cautious, which is understandable.

Sexuality isn't a problem, I've many gay friends and my youngest brother is gay.

Speak to her about it, start by saying that you know she has announced she is gay and you're proud of her for being so brave and you accept it. Then ask her how she would like to talk about it.

She is intelligent enough to have that conversation with. Sexuality isn't something that shouldn't be mentioned like it's a dark secret. Embrace it, embrace her and let her know you love her

She may be wondering if you know, or how to bring the subject up. By mentioning it yourself you're taking that stress away from her and making her life better.

People are right here that it is not a big thing anymore, but not talking about it makes it a big thing. Once that first conversation is out of the way you just carry on as normal.

Your GD will surely tell you when she's ready so no need whatsoever to say/do anything, she's still the loving GD she was so I'm sure she'll tell you in her own good time.

What a wonderful family you have. Just give her a big hug and tell her you love her as herself.

She sounds like a daughter/granddaughter to be proud of. And mature beyond her years.

Her parents were amazing with her, big hugs and a few tears and lots of love and support. My son told her to just be happy and honest with herself and them and she hugged him and said, my first hug with you dad as myself.

Just tell her you still love her just the same whatever she is x

Check with her mum that you are supposed to know. Perhaps she needs to get used to mum and dad knowing before she tells everyone else.

Either way it doesn't matter because you're obviously not going to treat her any differently.

I wish it had been that way for one of DD's friends. He told his parents when he was 17 and his dad manhandled him out of the house. He was on the streets. Fortunately he was befriended by a lovely man who helped him. It could have so easily ended in tragedy.

Exactly,Whitewave, it's nobody else's business,if you accept it as normal,then why mention it.
What consenting adults do in private is,just that,Private.
I know,she's not a consenting adult yet.But,

Good advice already given.

Just treat her as you have always done. Her sexual life is her own affair, just the same as if she was straight.

One of my son's teenage stepsons recently told them that he was gay. It takes some courage for any youngster to face their parents with that. Although we are not his GPs, we have a close relationship with him. I think he is aware that we know, and if so, he knows that it doesn't affect how we feel about him. As others have said, treat her with the same love and affection as you always have.

You obviously have a lovely family if your dgd was happy to tell her parents and not keep it to herself. How did her parents react?

She is still the little girl you love.

I agree with cornergran, just treat her the same and let life develop.

You've got a thoughtful, brave, loving and sensible granddaughter, It's a difficult one, but I can understand that undercurrents are best avoided and that you want her to know you love her unconditionally - which I am sure she does already. Perhaps ask her Mum if she knows you have had this so personal information shared with you. If not I would say nothing. If she asked her Mum to tell you then a quiet acknowledgement and a big hug should do it. Just be the same with her, she will know you are there for her as you always have been.

My sister's gay, she told me when she was 17, told my mum when she was 13. All she wanted was acceptance of her life style. I would just ask her what she did today, let her tell you about the meal and just gently prompt her until she tells you herself. Then give her a big hug. It is amazing what a gay person brings into your life, it's like a different society in a way.

I think if I were you next time I see her I would just give her a big hug. As you say it doesn't seem right to bring up the subject of sexuality but a hug would tell her that your fine with it. It gives her the opportunity to talk or not.
I hope her parents were as understanding as you.

Im sure she'd be glad if you were open with her and happy to know you accept her for who she us. Id probably just want to check with her Mum first, who can then tell her she's spoken to you.