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What is a 'typical ' boy?

(235 Posts)
oldgoose Thu 18-Aug-16 17:48:59

To my mind a typical boy is quite physical, on the go a lot, likes the odd playfight, enjoys football, running around and maybe riding his bike. My friends grandsons burst into the room, jump all over her and then start to fight each other.
My Grandson is 10 and he is very quiet. He is gentle and kind and has 3 friends who are slightly 'nerdy' but also enjoy football and are loud when they want to be. My Grandson likes computers, reading, and collects stationery, he has more than they have in WH Smith. Close friends and family are all beginning to say that he is gay. That dosn't matter a jot, but should we put labels on children quite so early? My Grand-daughters on the other hand are both tomboys, love to play football, climb and pretend to be super -heroes, but no-one has said that they might be gay. I feel sorry for my Grandson because people expect him to be different and don't seem to understand that he needs to be himself. Has anyone else had this with their own children or grandchildren?

Penstemmon Sun 21-Aug-16 20:34:42

It is your choice. Nobody is forcing that decision G&T.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 20:59:33

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ana Sun 21-Aug-16 21:00:46

hmm

DaphneBroon Sun 21-Aug-16 21:03:29

You sound proud of yourself dicky, not an attitude I, for one, share.

GandTea has the right to make his own decisions and nobody forces anybody to do anything on GN unless they are so in breach of the guidelines that GNHQ terminate their membership.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 21:15:27

[Grin] Penstemmon and I are a force to be reckoned with, what a team, cross us at your peril.

DaphneBroon Sun 21-Aug-16 21:24:44

As I said , I see nothing to gloat about and I very much doubt Penstemmon would ally herself with your sentiments.

Penstemmon Sun 21-Aug-16 21:25:57

I have no intention of forcing people off this forum. I will challenge attitudes and opinions I find offensive or ill informed but unless someone is actually breaking the law in what they say (incitement etc) they are entitled to express an opinion much as I might dislike it!
If bye-laws (GNHQ guidelines in this case) are contravened then that will bring other consequences but that is not my responsibility.
Unless 'banned' staying or leaving a forum is an individual choice, I won't engage in either encouraging someone to leave nor the placatory 'please stay' groups. We are all adults and need to make our own choices/ take responsibility for our own actions.

NanaandGrampy Sun 21-Aug-16 21:25:57

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JessM Sun 21-Aug-16 21:36:22

I've been a member of GN since the very early days and there are a number of patterns repeated. Here's one - a member who presents as a male starts to push the boundaries, posting sexist or insensitive comments on multiple threads until he gets a post or two deleted. Then he announces he is leaving (instead of going off quietly) but plays the victim for a day or so, garnering a bit of sympathy from a sub-set of members, before finally disappearing, leaving a few disgruntled members in his wake. Getting really boring. No idea whether it is the same person or whether it's a common pattern in a particular kind of older man.
Most active members get a post or two deleted at some stage but most of us accept we have overstepped the mark in some way and shrug it off in private. Others presumably go off in a low-profile huff, never to heard of again.
There are probably some charming grandfathers on this forum but I never seem to meet them. Pity.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 21:37:35

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 21:41:32

Jess, you've got me, I'm a grandfather.

merlotgran Sun 21-Aug-16 21:42:57

My thoughts, exactly, JessM

We can all spot the wooden spoon.

It's so predictable....and tedious.

Penstemmon Sun 21-Aug-16 21:43:25

From the Urban Dictionary: Flounce v. flounce, flounced, flounc•ing, - To leave an internet group or thread with exaggerated drama;

Penstemmon Sun 21-Aug-16 21:49:27

No Dicky please do not take phrases out of context to create a different emphasis. What I said was

It made me feel that if I met him I would find him either deliberately provocative, insensitive or a rather bigoted/ignorant person.

not that he was any of these things.

Greenfinch Sun 21-Aug-16 21:50:26

Then they often return with another username.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 21:58:24

Penstemmon, now you are splitting hairs.

This is getting boring, time to find another subject.

POGS Sun 21-Aug-16 22:53:00

21.49

Good Lord what horrible descriptions.

Not having read ' all ' of the posts that have been deleted all I can say is if those words were used in reference to another poster I am not surprised upset has been caused.

Is one persons view of what warrents being called sexism different to another's. Some may find a comment downright sexism another person may find it banter or speaking truthfully. Usually it easy to assess the context by having an understanding of the person accused /using supposed sexist remarks.

As for Gandtea I would never attribute any one of those of those words at him and I hope that wasn't the case.

POGS Sun 21-Aug-16 22:58:26

21.36

" There are probably some charming grandfathers on this forum but I never seem to meet them. Pity"

I have and there are, were!

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 21-Aug-16 23:05:52

Quoting TriciaF "A man I used to know reckoned that most boys go through a period of gender confusion when they reach puberty. Then they could go either way, depending on the people they happen to meet."

I agree with that and, if the girls' boarding school I attended was anything to go by, it does apply to girls too. It is why I think it would be unwise to lower the age of consent.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 21-Aug-16 23:08:15

Can I just say (very quietly) that if any poster decides to leave GN ("flounce") it is much more stylish to quietly fade away without mentioning it beforehand.

merlotgran Sun 21-Aug-16 23:25:59

Especially as when you come back on with a different username everyone knows who you are.

Elegran Mon 22-Aug-16 09:21:29

As one who has actually read G&T's deleted posts and found them ill-advised but not abusive, (and not breaking GN guidelines, which I consulted specially to check), I would not have expected such nasty comments from some of you posters. It reads like a pack of wild dogs turning on one of their number to savage them to death. I am surprised because some of them are from posters I had previously considered to have a similar mindset to my own to the gradations from levity to outrageousness.

You might consider the fact that if all posters with individuality were excluded, the forum would become a mass of beige, with grey highlights, no flashes of colour anywhere to raise the spirits. I could probably list a dozen who are not always PC but whose presence gives the "diversity" that GN needs.

I would concentrate my attention on a more potent source of abusive and sexist posts not a hundred miles away, allied to a most unpleasant and self-congratulatory cock-crowing over the vanquishing of a competitor. Anyone whose response to the "Things I've not seen for a while", thread was "My willy" is in no position to assume the moral high ground. G&T with all his faults would not have posted anything so crude and infantile.

LumpySpacedPrincess Mon 22-Aug-16 09:23:37

On MN we have a flounces corner, do you have one here? grin

Is one persons view of what warrents being called sexism different to another's. Some may find a comment downright sexism another person may find it banter or speaking truthfully. Usually it easy to assess the context by having an understanding of the person accused /using supposed sexist remarks. I disagree with this, in this situation someone is ussually being sexist or homophobic, when it's pointed out they say it's "just banter" when it isn't, it's offensive. It's the reason so many women are harassed in the workplace, because of banter. Just stop it, it's really not hard not to be offensive. I can get through whole years without being sexist, racist or homophobic.

obieone Mon 22-Aug-16 09:24:37

Often they dont.
GandTea himself chose to make it known after a while who he was, when he changed to this name.

GandTea, I would hope that GNHQ give you an explanation today.

I cant think that there are many gransnetters who want you to leave, and not over something of this nature either. flowers

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Aug-16 09:26:00

(Everyone rushes off to read the 'Things you don't see anymore thread')