Holidaying with my daughter, son in law and 2 and half year old grandsons

stick to your guns, let your daughter ask the other grandma(sounds like they just want a babysitter and any granny will do) and no doubt the other poor grandma will be on here asking the same question.

I see my granddaughter regularly and do free care at least once a week.If I am paying for the holiday myself I definitely wouldn't choose to spend it a hotel filled with other people's kids. I've spent 20 years doing that already with my own. If my daughter was offering to pay all costs so that I could share the babysitting then that is fair enough. Let the other gran use her money and go as a glorified free babysitter/dog's body and you go off on the holiday of your choice. Personally, as a single traveller, my motto is- See the world, never go to the same place twice and travel in term time only!

Hi Londongirl, we had a very similar situation last year when we went on holiday to a family hotel in Menorca with our DS, DiL and our two grandchildren, one then aged almost two and her baby brother who was then 6 months. We paid for ourselves and had our own apartment which had an adjoining doors to theirs.
We were never asked to babysit, and weren't expected to. We had a great time, so much so that we're going away with them again next year!
Having said that, we did go on a cruise a month after we came home! I wouldn't be so keen if it was our only holiday.
Enjoy your cruise, you'll have a great time. DH and I are cruise addicts!
By the way, I live in London too.

Its now our time for us..I child mind, pick her up from school and support when I can but I also have my own life. I would decline family holiday under this conditions..let them take MIL if they want..will she be expected to pay? Does it matter?
Ive realised over the years that no matter what you do its what you don't they bring up.
Love all mine to bits but holidays my time for me.

I agree with other posters, if they are upfront about wanting childcare (and paying for the holiday) it would be reasonable. But if you are paying for a holiday that you wouldn't choose for yourself and also end up doing the childcare that is not reasonable.

Like other posters I'm not at all keen on this type of hotel, full of other people's shrieking children. And I don't like heat or beach holidays much, so this would not be for me, free or not.

After my father died we used to take my mother on holiday with us but didn't expect her to babysit at all - if we went out for a meal in the evening we usually all went together. We used to take a nice apartment on a complex with a beach and a swimming pool and she could always spend time by herself on the balcony or in the living room if she wanted some peace. We also made a point of going out and about to see interesting places, it wasn't totally child-centred. There was a hotel nearby which offered all the usual children's activities so most of the families seemed to be staying there.

Another time we stayed in rooms on a farm in Devon that was run as a guest house and went out and about during the day, giving her the option of going to a beach or staying in the towns to look around. Even though the weather wasn't great we all had a lovely time there.

Rosina - don't you dare go with the children!!! You can be utterly charming about it and just say at your age and stage and financial situation you prefer something a lot quieter - you look forward to hearing all about their holiday and they can enjoy hearing about yours. Horses for courses. When your children are grandparents themselves they will shudder to think what they wanted to put you through.

Well you re not in the wrong at all if that's not what you want
I d be the exact opposite I go like a shot can't think of anything nicer than being included and watching the grandkids have a good time All my holidays have been with grandkids around and I would never expect them to pay for me and I would love to be needed in the evenings while they go out for a meal or a drink I really class it as a privilege to baby sit I have been with various grand children on holidays since they were little I ve sat round the pool watching them playing or on the beach and other peoples kids are quite entertaining too None of mine are babies now so my time of ' being useful' is limited .....Roll on great grandkids

If I was paying and that was the only holiday I would be taking in the year (and I didn't like child-centred holidays), I would not want to go either. I think it's reasonable to say that you would find it a bit too tiring and these days you prefer something quieter and more relaxing.

It can be a bit tiring with lots of children around but, on balance, I quite like family holidays and I don't mind babysitting if they want to go out - provided it's appreciated and not taken for granted. We do, though, like to have at least a mini-break on our own as well.

Just say no! I forked out a fortune for a self catering apartment in St Ives (Cornwall) last year at half term, paid for everything, meals out, parking, fuel to get there, the lot! DIL just stayed in bed all day until it was time to dress up and be taken out in the evening for dinner, DS only wanted to find the pubs or sleep most of the time, whilst we and my DD & SIL (who have no children as yet) ended up looking after the little one every day. Much as I adore my little GD (and look after her lots for them so they can work or have time alone) I was so very cross after all the effort and expense I had gone to that I vowed never to do it again! They can pay for their own holidays and look after their own child whilst away in the future. Having said that, we took just our DGD to the seaside for two nights at the beginning of the summer and loved every minute with just the three of us !

Ah Thankyou Falconbird. Maybe its partly to do with being an older mum, I certainly take more time to consider how others are feeling as I've got older, which I may not have done if I had young children in my 20s!
My MIL lives overseas and we have never met but my parents are close by. My boyfriend and I both work so I really appreciate the 1 day a week that nanny and granddad look after my daughter, she loves spending time with them. Incidently I've seen stories on here of grandparents becoming pretty much unpaid full time childcare providers, with little thanks and quite frankly it horrified me!

I'm with Bluebelle!

harrigran, this amused me. There's no way DH and I would ever go to Benidorm. From what we've seen of it on TV it is absolutely not our thing. A couple of years ago, wanting some sunshine before winter set in, we flew from our local airport to Alicante. Almost everyone else on the flight went on to Benidorm, we stayed in Alicante, which is a charming old town. We stayed at a lovely hotel, ate Spanish food, tried our hand at speaking Spanish, did some sightseeing. In other words it was the local food, language, scenery and culture that we went for. I don't think we'd get that in Benidorm! And as for the type of holiday originally being discussed, all in in one hotel, no, that's a vision of purgatory.

Benidorm old town used to be charming years ago - 70s / early 80s. You could go to real tapas bars, watch genuine flamenco and chat with the locals. From what I see on the TV now it looks horrendous! I have an acquaintance who goes every year for a 'girls' holiday (she's in her 50s) and the photos she sends make me so sad. Lots of drunken middle aged (and older!) people pretending to be teenagers ....

I must be in a minority here. I love going on holiday with my grandchildren and my children. I love their company and we are both happy that they enjoy ours enough to go on holiday with us. My eldest grandchild is nearly 17 and I know in a couple of years she will be off to University so I am making the most of spending time with her. I couldn't afford the holidays years ago when my children were small, so I have enjoyed the Disney and Lapland holidays with the grandchildren. I also enjoy cruises and have been on a few now and for the first time next year we are cruising with grandchildren.

Gangan1 I'm with you 100%, and love holidaying with the 'children' and their children.

But Londongirl if the idea of this particular holiday fills you with horror, and I do see your point, then just politely decline. They'll get over it.

Let the other grandma suffer!!

Not having been in this position as my family live four thousand miles away.How ever if like me you find some kids obnoxious I blame the parents and some you would love to be with then no be honest and tell your family you love them but you don't love other peoples kids and if you are grumpy you will spoil their holiday as well as your grandchildrens.

Me too Gangan I think it's a premier deal to spend time watching ours and other kids having a good time

Grandkids are with you such a short time

Every year I take trains and a plane to pick three grandkids up to bring to mine for a week or ten days then travel to take them back I fund it all on my pension but I just hope when I m gone they ll have some happy memories of those hols

gosh to talk about being with your grand kids as 'suffering' is very harsh I think

I don't think anyone has said they don't want to holiday with their GCs just not a whole crowd of other kids. Have you seen the way some of these children behave?

You know your daughter best so you know if you are being asked just for easy babysitting or because she thought you would want to share a special time with your family and to "make memories". I understand the reluctance to go to a family hotel and maybe a villa or apartment would have been a better option but then someone has to be organised with food preparation etc. Pros and cons in both situations.

If she asks other granny and that all have a fab time you can't feel 'left out'. We all have choices and consequences follow!

Bluebelle I agree with you absolutely. It is a privilege to have and enjoy grandchildren. The OP should be happy to be asked. Reading some of the threads on GN , it is the last thing that some daughters would want. She is very lucky

Have had holiday with ds dil dd her partner and 4granchildren in this country was never asked to babysit and we chose when to go with them must say I loved every minute but it wasn't only holiday we had don't think they would ask us to abroad with them if they did I would have to really think about it and it would depend where they were going . You have to do things for you don't feel guilty enjoy your cruise

Blimey
If we are asked to do anything that involves our grand children we always say yes unless we have already arranged something. Spent 7 years looking after them for two days a week....80miles from home...have had them for two weeks this summer holiday and keep half terms free and big family foreign on continent earlier in year. Absolutely no virtue here, we just love being with them and enjoy all the activities, theatre, cinema, museums we probably wouldn't do on our own!!As they seem to love being with us we are hanging in there cos reckon teenagers might view late 70year olds differently!!!

No you are not being selfish at all. Young parents today are totally self centred. They expect far to much from grandparents. Such as baby sitters, child minders, money givers ( they rarely pay back). Now the trend is to expect us to have their children while they go on holiday for: wait for it----------- one or two weeks holiday. The utter cheek of it. Youve got it very wrong indeed. We should look out for our parents no matter what. They have gone through bringing up children etc. They are right to enjoy themselves, spend any money they may have on whatever they choose, chill and rest as much as they want. Most grandparents never had help from anybody, they just got on with it and wouldn't dream of asking for help. Wake up young parents, your children, your resposibility. Get on with it. Stop moaning, we owe you nothing