I'm going under....

Thank you Katy and Jalima. He too was very stoic and just got on with the treatment. Radiotherapy. No op. His was low on the scale and has now gone. This was only a year after recovering from 6 weeks in ICU after a cardiac arrest followed by pneumonia. .A truly horrible time. He cannot remember any of it except the hallucinations. I remember every detail. This was just a year after my kidney removal due to cancer. Since then we have had a very tiny premature DGD. 26 weeks gestation. She is over a year now and no problems. A worry though at the time. I feel exhausted thinking about it.

As others have said, getting some good quality sleep on a regular basis will be a really good start in beginning to feel better. Hope you can find a way to do this.

A step at a time; first sort the cat
Then try to persuade your DH to get some help with his sleep so that you can sleep too.
Your mother sounds as if she sees any 'help' as 'interference' - she sounds very independent! You can only do what she will accept.

Have a nice break away from it all
I would say but, like me, you say you have put on weight recently.

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Pippin caught after traumatic (for all of us) de flea, treated chin, groomed. He is now recovering in carrier. DH and I recovering with a cuppa. Pics of dismantled spare room and Pippin recovering.

Step One
Tick!

(it's for your own good, Pippin)

Oh well done. Catching a cat for treatment is a nightmare. It's quite a good idea to lift the spirits writing down anything you've achieved in a day. A little notebook by the bed and jot down groomed the cat,phoned GP ,read a book. However little or great it's an achievement worth noting. I tend to do it when life seems to get on top of me. What about sleeping tablets for you. I use Nytol when in need of a decent nights sleep as DH has cramp at night and makes a dreadful fuss.

Well done for catching the cat Flower! ?? They really are hard to treat? I still have the scars from years of it.

The effects of radiotherapy are so often underestimated compared to chemo but they are very real as I know from experience. Your poor DH has obviously been traumatised by the whole cancer thing, and like many men, keeps it all inside. It sounds like he really needs some sort of talking therapy. Agree that GP is the first port of call.

I agree with the list thing as long as it is manageable!

You have received a lot of great advice from our wise ones on here. I have nothing to add except a big hug, and the reminder that this will pass! Hang on in there. Life is a bitch sometimes and you have had a lot to cope with recently. Thinking of you.

That's such an achievement flower. Pippin will be grateful - one day

please keep the lists short and manageable and enjoy those achievements. Hope you can get to the doctor.

Oh flower so much good advice for you on here. Witter all you like. I know that it helps. It is silly that we feel so guilty when we feel down so why do we do it? Hope the in your life gets stronger soon.

Phew! That looks more like you cornered a tiger Good start!

What's your 'must do' for today? X

Well Done!! Pippin looks like a lovely little cat.

I don't know if this will help for next time (I only just saw your thread) but when our young, slight lady vet came to give an injection to our cat many years ago she removed her overalls (she had trousers underneath), arranged them with the top and one leg hole open, caught up the cat, lifted the overalls with one hand and deftly poured the cat down the leg hole. Fred's head and neck appeared out of the bottom of the leg and his body was neatly pinned. Much better than the wrap-in-a-towel method and I did the same after that when it was worm pill time.

Don't worry about the state of your mum's house if she's not concerned. At 92 a bit of muck can be excused. My grandfather's house was the same. All we could do was quietly clean the worktops while the kettle boiled. He refused any help and complained bitterly if anyone tried to tidy up and he couldn't find something. Being independent was far more important to him.

It looks like your challenge for today is sorting the spare room enough to be able to retreat to the spare bed and get some sleep! (If you move room it may help to persuade your DH to make a doctor's appointment!)

Lovely photo of sweet cat.
When events and things to do overwhelmed me I promised myself to do 1 thing a day. Even a small thing like making a phone call counted. I wrote down what I'd done that day. Somehow this gave me the will to get through and not go under.
All the best to you Flower

Good advice, Nana3. I ought to follow it. flower, Pippin is a handsome cat and I hope he appreciates his makeover.

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Thank you all for kind words and encouragement. Pippin si much more relaxed. No scratching.

Ahh, a contented cat.
How about you flower ? I hope you are feeling better too.

Lovely photos. Hope you're feeling a little less overloaded and able to just sit calmly stroking these nice cats and just breathing!

Feeling a little better thanks. Off to beach hut in Walberswick tomorrow for a few days.

Enjoy!

Flower of the west sounds like you might live up my neck of the woods I m just up the road from ' Wobbles wick' enjoy the sea might be a bit breezy but a nice way to relax
Good luck

Also re your mothers AMD, have a chat with your local Blind Association. There may well be clubs/groups etc that could help her.

Have a lovely time away