Quite a long post warning.
I have a real dilemma concerning my dads elderly neighbour. She is well into her 90's and I feel that she might be being neglected by her family. Not badly used/abused just not cared for.
She has 1 son and a DiL (a lot younger than my dad) who live about 2 miles away from her in a VERY posh house in a VERY nice village. the son seems to visit once or maybe twice a week but only stays a few minutes at a time. DiL is never with him and I would think she only sees her grandchildren once in a blue moon. One of these "visits" is when he brings her a pile of frozen ready meals for her carer to pop into the microwave. He drives a very flash car and is not what you would call "approachable".
More and more recently (and it has got worse since my mum died) she is banging through the wall for my dad. All times of the day and night.He goes round to her and she tells him she is hungry or that her carer is late or that she hasn't seen her son for weeks or whatever. Sometimes she asks him to turn the heating up as her bungalow is cold (it often is). So he resets the timer for her but mysteriously it goes back down.The bungalows have all recently been modernised by the local authority to a very high standard but hers remains without wallpaper, curtains (her son has pinned a sheet up at her bedroom window) etc. despite the tenants being given a grant towards redecoration.
I take my dad shopping twice a week (at least) and always ask if she needs anything. sometimes she asks me to get a few things but then never offers the money. She says that her son keeps her money for her and says that she will need to ask him to pay me (he never does although to be fair we very rarely see him). she says that she has a very good pension income and that her late husband left her quite well off (her words) but to look at her you would think she was destitute. She used to be a very tidy old lady. Always had her hair done nice and wore nice clothes. now she is looking very untidy and just unloved. I know she is lonely and will try anything to get me or my dad to go in. Her sight isn't very good but she is quite with it and has a very good sense of humour.
Last night she collared me when I was dropping my dad off and said she was hungry. Her carer hadn't turned up (so she said) and that the number she had for her son had changed (it seems to have as my dad tried to ring him). She then asked me to go to a very specific shop and get her 3 pies. I must be mad, but thinking about my own late grandma, I drove to the shop and got her the pies. £4.70 (me and my dad went halves) no money offered, although she did offer me a pie.
What (if anything) can I do? I don't want to cause trouble (for her or my dad) but feel worried that she is bothering my dad so often now that he is getting a bit fed up. I am also worried that her son might be enjoying her money but not giving her what she needs although to be fair I can't prove anything. i would really appreciate any advice.
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