Its a long long story of 11 years of difficulties with DIL and my son. A long story of hanging on to a relationship with my grandchildren and staying in there. They live 250miles away. I write them letters, get granted an occasional visit and I phone about once a fortnight. I have been accused in the past of giving too much attention to them, I have had visits restricted. I believe that I am an intelligent, pragmatic yet loving grandmother, who of course I have to say because that's how it is, has never built a relationship with her DIL ( long story)So I try to show the kids I love them( and my son of course but he is loyal to his wife , quite rightly.) When my grandson used to talk to me for ages on the phone some years ago my DIL told me that he wasn't to wonder away out of the room they were in and certainly wasn't allowed up to his bedroom to talk to me ( it made me feel less like a loving grandma and more like some ogre! ) So years on he now has a mobile phone and he texts me and he phones ( he says he enjoys our chats, mainly about football but he has mentioned bullies recently) . I called him after school at 3.30pm when once he told me he was doing homework I said that we had better stop then. Today my son rang me and told me that I am not to phone him at 3.30 which is homework time apparently . Which sounds reasonable on the face of it but as he didn't come up with any suggestions is this actually another attempt to restrict the contact. My Partner and I think it is but perhaps we are so paranoid now that's how we would see it. So my question is, he is nearly 12 now. Is it actually time to give up and let them control me and him and not phone my GS at all? In which case there is likely to be little contact unless they phone ( they don't) from now on? Trivial it may seem but the bigger picture is hurtful
