Nervous driver

I find driving after dark more stressful and if I get lost get upset, or if roads are closed. I use a sat nav but if roads are closed it keeps trying to send me the way I can't go. I live North of London and daughter with new baby is in the South East of London so I have long journeys through traffic jams.

A few years ago the family complained about my driving so I did the Advanced Motorist course. I didn't pass but did improve and got confidence. Since then I have topped up my skills twice with a one hour assessment from them, which I think was around £30. they are happy to do this and can point out things you can improve.

The actual course was very useful. It is about predicting conditions and a big emphasis on paying attention, which can wander for anyone but maybe more as we age. I'd recommend it.

www.iamroadsmart.com/courses/advanced-driver-course?gclid=CJjLiYPS5NACFcaV7QodI-UJ8A

It is reassuring to find I am not the only one who is not as condfident and avoids night driving if possible. Living in a rural area with the nearest hospital 65 miles away it is important that I keep driving. Trouble is, OH is so critical it undermines my confidence so prefer him to drive when together. I recently bit the bullet and drove (on my own) to visit family 150 miles away (avoiding motorways and cities) and it boosted my confidence no end. I am now trying to persuade himself that when we change our car next year we choose an automatic. He says it's not proper driving, but at 76 you never know when he may no longer be capable of driving so I think I should have a say.

After posting on this thread I said to DH this morning, "My New Year resolution will be to drive the car more." He gave me a baleful stare and walked away!

Disgruntled There is definitely more traffic, just since 2000 when we returned to the UK. More cars than ever around Bristol

Our sat nav has some very odd ideas sometimes; she loves endless country lanes that go round in circles and long journeys through the middle of cities rather than a shorter route round.
She thinks we like sightseeing.

I like a map

Sorry to all the Lorraines out there. I'm sure you're all lovely in a bunch!

I typed Lorries, honestly.

Mind you, I do think we are entitled to feel anxious or less confident because traffic has increased ENORMOUSLY and so have all the signs. I expect most of us learned back in the 60s, so the roads were much emptier. I can remember when a stretch of the M1 was opened and it looked so inviting (like being the first in a swimming pool) and I felt like Toad. Not any more. I'd rather go the scenic route.

Use it or lose it, is a good maxim. After stopping work there may be few opportunities to drive any distance and gain confidence.

We frequently do a 300 mile journey, M1 and M6, and share the driving in a powerful comfortable car, which aids confidence.

I find that once on the motorway my confidence grows and DH is reminding me to keep to the speed limit!

Like many, I don't like the Lorraine's, particularly when they bunch up and then swing out. Traffic has increased a great deal since many of us passed our tests.
Sat. Navs are great and taking enough time so that your not in a rush helps.

It's reassuring to hear that others have noticed a decrease in confidence, we have to fight this though (Winston Churchill - "never give in"). I recently acquired a sat-nav and find it really helpful. It's like having a guide in the car with you. Use it all the time and you will quickly become familiar with it and you will be proud of yourself for fighting your fears.

After I started working again 11 years ago, I drove less as I walked to work. So DH did the driving needed for socialising for the most part, unless he wanted a couple of drinks, then I'd drive home. But my night driving is not a happy time. Halos around lights, even with anti-glare glasses. Raining? Yikes!

The mature drivers thing sounds good, I need to look into that. I have been driving since 1965, and am fine in the daytime, but just don't have much occasion so do not feel my reflexes as a defensive driver are as sharp as they should be at all.

Glad I am not alone! Thanks everyone.

Some of you are very young to feel like this.

One of my biggest regrets in life is not learning to drive. I took lessons and my test in my early twenties but failed and never tried again.

At 62 I think I am too old and nervous to start again but I would love to drive.

I'm 64 and have lost my confidence with driving. I go into the local town, or to collect my granddaughter from school, but that's it. Part of the problem is that hubby drives every time we go out. If I have to drive into the city I am sick with nerves and can feel myself relaxing when I am on the road home again. I've been driving since I was seventeen and used to be super confident.

Jan51 if GA lives in London she's eligible for the '60 plus' pass.

It's a 'lite' Freedom Pass, i.e. can be used on tubes, trains & buses but only in London, not nationwide.

I'm 62 and have one! And it's free.

ga as far as i know you can get a bus pass from 60 whatever your retirement age.

Living where we do any long distance journey involves either the horrendous Dartford crossing and or M25. Otherwise you double your journey time using the A and B roads. I sincerely hope I don't loose my ability to drive these areas. At the moment I'm fine.

Grannyactivist -are you in London? If so you can get a bus pass from TFL to bridge the gap. You have to pay but I don't think it's much and would probably pay for its self in the long run.

I am completely with you! I started to joke that I won't leave S10, but then realised I shouldn't be joking about it. I've now got a Smart car, which feels nippy and reminds me of my old Minis, the seat is quite high up so I no longer feel intimidated by all the big tanks on the roads and it's got a sat nav, which is wonderful. I used to get so stressed about going somewhere new and then I'd hate myself for being stupid/useless etc etc. Now I actually enjoy driving again - hallelujah! (sorry if this sounds like an ad.)

Me too , I am delighted(sorry!) to find I am not alone in this. I hate driving at night the most but will only drive to places I know or have been before in the day . I drive into Manchester city centre but only because I know the route , know where I can park and have been doing it for years . My x has a lot to answer for I think , he used to make me very nervous when I was driving by criticising me .

Many of you sound very anxious, if not somewhat depressed. You might well find that a mild anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication will help a lot. The other thing I find helps me a lot is to be sitting up high in the seat. For years I used a wedge-shaped cushion and back support so that I wasn't leaning back as much as I would without them. I see many women who can hardly see over the steering wheel!

Get a firm wedge-shaped cushion and put the fatter end against the back of the seat and feel the difference!

Same as me WOT I was 48 and wish I had gone on a motorway straightaway because now I only drive to the nearby shops and my Bridge club. I have asked my two sons for gift vouchers for christmas to go towards buying a sat nav and try and get some confidence up. I am 66

I too dont like driving in the dark or on motorways following a couple of unwanted encounters with foreign lorries but do love our automatic car...heartily recommend, and have offered to do the driving back from a christmas lunch next week. My husband nearly fell off his chair in astonishment.

While driving over 40 years ago I witnessed a very nasty accident at close range when pregnant. I lost my nerve and stopped driving. As time went by it got worse and worse. I was walking everywhere with a pram and 2 children on it (the old sort with the pram seat) up hills and down dales, with a car outside the door which I wouldnt drive. This went on for about 7 years, when eventually I started to try to drive. Terrible for the first couple of years, fears, fright, stomach upsets, sickness, but gradually gradually I used it a bit more often, and in the end was ok. However fast forward and am less keen now and tend to rely on my husband. He is happy to drive, but as has already been said, there is no guarantee that will continue and i may have to pick it up again. Therefore to all of us, despite maybe being nervous, if you stop altogether its really really hard to start again, especially as we are older. dont give in to it, choose your journey carefully, get a sat nav if you havnt got one already, and keep on driving!

I'm ok in daylight but after 30 years or more I avoid driving on motorways and driving in the dark fills me with dread which makes me miss out on social occasions .

Mmmmmmm.......... this is indeed a common concern for those of us who stop the daily commute AND enjoy the double freedom of a bus pass. I do daily shortish road trips to keep my 'technical' hand in and one motorway trip a month for confidence. If there's dark or winter weather causing concern I use my bus pass saving to have a night in Premier or some other cheapie on my actual route. That's the best I can come up with for me but I watch this forum with enthusiasm as I really don't want to give up driving freedom nor be a nervous driver. Scary thought.