My son (32) for some reason has cut us out of his life. We have no idea why. I did throw him a life line 2.5 years ago and I eldest daughter (DD1) and I went so see him after we bumped in DIL locally . He welcomed us into his home and told us about his life and seemed genuinely happy to see us and then told us to come back anytime.
When DIL ( who knew we were visiting as she gave us the address) got home from work that night he never mentioned we had been. After communication between DIL and DD1 DIL mention to son that she knew we had visited and asked why he did not mention it - to which ( we were later told) he said he did not want to talk about it and did not want us in his life.
After their child was born we sent a present for grandchild but he refused to let DIL open i and stuck it in a cupboard, and I am told it is still there. He apparantly told DIL that she could have us in the child's life or him but not both, so she rightly chose my son.
Last week his grandfather, my FIL,died. My in laws were never really grandparents to them and had little interest in them despite them being the only three grandchildren they have. After my ex and I divorced the in laws did not want anything to do with me and the children. I am wondering if I should pass a message to my son through his MIL letting him know his grandfather is dead and when and where the funeral is. I am not sure he will come but should I give him the choice by passing on the information?
If I don't he may resent me in later years, if he ever bridges the gap and comes back into the family fold.
Should I pass on the information?
My other worry about passing the information on is whether it will cause another argument between son and DIL.
What would you do?
Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.
Good Morning Good Friday 29th March 2024
The next thread for friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life