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Is my son being naive????

(81 Posts)
Namsnanny Sun 04-Jun-17 19:22:55

This is a strange situation, and one I feel needs a delicate touch.

My son lives in an area of lots of rental properties. There are students, and lots of different nationalities. Drugs and prostitution are associated with the worst streets there. Its often in the local news for some kind of criminal and/or violent trouble.

The other day, when he was parking (you need a permit)he was approached by a young muslim girl who offered him some free parking tickets and asked him back to her house (4 doors away)for a cup of tea. He agreed but when he reached her door had a phone call and had to leave.

Now he thinks she was being friendly and neighbourly and wants to invite her back in return.
He's very open to anyone, and has been known to sit with beggars in the street throughout the night to keep them company.

All I know is that a female wearing traditional head covering, is likely to be religious. Her adoption of that style of clothing showing the world her respectability, and part of being 'respectable' is that women/girls arnt supposed to mix with men unaccompanied are they?
In the mosque the women are separated.
Fathers and brothers dominate their lives, making marriage, financial and other decisions for them, I understand.
So what would her family think?

What if he gets trouble from her male relatives? Why would this girl be so forward as to invite a strange male into her house?

My son thinks only good things of people, and I know he would tell me off if I dared point out my worries to him.

If I lived in the area he does, as a western woman I wouldn't be so foolish as to open my doors to a stranger, so am I wrong to be suspicious? confused

What do you think?

Namsnanny Tue 06-Jun-17 23:57:15

GrandtanteJE65: Thank you for your reply. More like the type of response I had expected.

I think everything you have said is a worthy comment and along the lines I had originally felt myself, except for the part about myself going as chaperone, which I hadn't thought of and is a good idea.

Hopefully this will die a death as lots of ships that pass in the night do. But I was concerned for all the reasons you highlighted because she lived so close by.

Your measured and thoughtful post has given me back a little faith in humanity, which frankly was stretched very thin reading some of the other more....'excitable' replies!

By the way Thanks for having the curtesy to talk/write TO me and not ABOUT me in the third person.....a much more civilised and acceptable form of communication!!

Thanks again smile

Namsnanny Wed 07-Jun-17 00:10:25

Starbird and sunlover:
I would like to Thank you also for your input. Having someone there and meeting in a crowded coffee shop is a sensible suggestion and would indeed stop any trouble in its tracks.

As I said previously hopefully this will all fizzle out and my concern will all be for nothing!

smile

MawBroon Wed 07-Jun-17 09:53:03

Wasn't it a daft question in the first place? grin

Witzend Wed 07-Jun-17 10:02:44

FWIW we lived (very happily) in Muslim countries for many years and I agree that there is something very odd about this behaviour. A girl who's religious enough to cover her hair just would not do this. I suppose it's just minutely possible that she was striking a blow for western type freedom, but I wouldn't bet on it.

I'm not implying that there must necessarily be some nefarious motive, but at the very least she could be in serious trouble if any traditionally minded relatives came to know about it.

Jalima1108 Wed 07-Jun-17 10:03:01

The other day, when he was parking (you need a permit)he was approached by a young muslim girl who offered him some free parking tickets
This is the bit I find really confusing?
If you need a permit to park are these visitor parking permits? Does she work for the Council?
confused