What would you have done?

rar I like to think - I DO think - that any of the schools I have worked in would have made a response to being informed of what happened. There are several issues here: appropriate behaviour from adults on school property, the problematic area of bringing sentimentally important items to school where, unfortunately there is always the risk of loss / damage, the ongoing pastoral situation re the 'offending' father -and in particular his child and the potential fall out with / the emotional needs of the other child.
I am not suggesting that the school get involved in any other way than pastorally, but if I were class teacher of either / both boys, I would appreciate being informed so that I could be supportive to them.
With child protection issues in school, it is when we record incident after incident and paper trails are created and grow that further action eventually gets taken. In the incident that gilly witnessed, my greatest concern is for the child of the offending parent and I think it is worth this incident being reported and recorded for his sake. We don't address inadequate parenting overnight, but through gradually building a picture of failures, something may change in time.

Oh just shut up phoenix. Your posts to me just sound pathetic and childish . It's obvious to everyone with any sense that you have a problem with me. Why don't you try and discuss the point made rather than just attaching me? I think if we looked at the range of threads I post on and the imformsttive opinions and facts I frequently give, we would see what ill informed rubbish your post is. MYbe that's really your problem with me.

...really is.

And phoenix I note that apart from attacking me, you had no contribution to make at all to what is otherwise an interesting discussion.

I do look at the range of threads that you post on Rigby46. And I think that you have an inflated sense of your own erudition. For someone who prides themselves on posting "positive opinions and facts" , telling another poster to "oh just shut up" is neither positive nor factual - it's just ignorant and rude. Its quite funny that you go on to accuse Phoenix of "attaching" you and making no viable contribution to the subject, and then you add 3 vitriolic and personal attacks on her But that's something that you're well known for Rigby. You're becoming more and more unpleasant aren't you?

I suspect (don't know) that the cap ended up on a peg at school as the children all went to school last Friday wearing football tops in aid of little Bradley Lowery's charity.

My DS and DDiL tell me that the dad is a particularly nasty piece of work so I should probably leave it as it is. I can't help but feel very sorry for the young lad who's cap it probably is although suspect it will never be seen in school again. The little boy is in between my DGS and DGD2 at school so year 4 and apparently a bit of a naughty boy too ( DGS's words).

Thank you all for (as usual) excellent responses and advice. This is what I love about Gransnet. When you are upset or worried about something and you just need someone to give you their take on the situation . I still haven't decided whether I will call in to the office this morning though.

I think you did well, but do call the office this morning.

Oh here we go again Darn so many of my critics make up what I've said and then criticise me - learn to read. I did not say 'positive' I said informative. Quite different - you can be informative and positive or informative and negative, or I suppose, just informative. On the thread for example, I am informative and negative.

On the CG thread I meant.

And if someone calls me a little shit, I think it's perfectly in order to tell her to shut up - clearly you don't

Why do you have 'so many critics' I wonder?

Is it possible to post 'informatively' and 'positively' (in your view) without being abrasive I wonder?
Some posters do manage that.

gillybob I think telling school about this will at least relieve you and you will have done something positive.

Eloethan I read it that the boy whose cap it was is lovely and polite not the one who allegedly stole it.

As well as sympoathy for the owner of the cap, I have concerns for the son of that obnoxious man. He is being trained up in dishonesty and aggression. What will his future be?

Gillybob, please do report it. Teachers can only act on information received. As others have said both children need support.

I agree Elegran quite sad really. The school is in the middle of a very large council estate. Most people have very little money to speak of and that cap would have been a precious possession for the little boy who's nana brought it for him from her holiday.
The dad (who obviously knew it was stolen) is basically telling his son (who is probably about 8), that its fine to just take/steal whatever you fancy.

I did call into the office this morning but there was a bit of a queue so decided to leave it until later. I didn't want to turn it into a school gate gossip thing.

This happened at School? . Inform school, that behaviour is disgusting. Poor boy.

Hi gillybob, I would 100% tell the parents of the little boy whose cap was lost, what I witnessed. It will be a relief to him to have an adult back up his story. What if he got into trouble at home for "losing" his cap? I'd also compliment the boy, tell his parents what a good and polite child he is.

The parents can then do with that info whatever they wish.

I don't know the parents of the boy Grannyknot but I agree with your comments. The little boy might have got into trouble for losing the cap. Oh dear, this makes me feel so much worse.

I will ask the school if they can forward a message to the boy (who's cap it clearly was) parents. My DGS told me both boys' names.

If the inside of the cap was marked with the boy's initials then it's definitely a case of stealing. Any decent parent would have checked to make sure there was no mistake and if there was, returned the cap with an apology.

The school needs to be informed as there may have been other similar incidences in the past and it will help them keep an eye out for future ones. The boy who took the cap most likely knew it was the wrong thing to do and now he's getting away with it.

Makes you with frustration doesn't it?

What a sad story Gillybob. The poor little boy that lost his cap, he must have felt very confused and had his faith in adults shaken quite a bit. I feel sorry for this horrible mans son as well, as he is being set a vile example of how to behave.

I would DEFINITELY report this to the school. As has already been said, they might not be able to do anything on this occasion about the cap as an isolated incident - but they can make a note, and keep an eye on the boys and any other problems in future.

I really would like to slap that dad (sorry, not an appropriate thing to say probably!)

It does merlot It really does.

My DS made a good point this morning saying "if there were any initials in the cap label, you can bet your bottom dollar the label will have disappeared".

I would ask the headteacher to intervene. This may have been theft on school premises

I think I would put all my eggs in one basket. Find out the name of the child and his father from DS, march into the school office, tell them what happened and ask/insist that the information be passed on to the little boy's parents.

That way the school knows what happened, the parents will be informed and they can then deal with it (or not as might sadly be the case)

Please, please report this to the school, gillybob. It happened on school premises and you were verbally abused, the school should be informed. As an ex-teacher, I am sure the school will take some sort of action.

100% agree Genevieve.

The dad could have been right that it was his kid's cap. It might have been more commonly available than the other little boy thought. But I guess it wouldn't have hurt to prove it to him.