How do I start to make friends

Trouble is when you are a bit shy or lacking in confidence (as I am) even making that first move to join anything can be really difficult. If you can overcome that first obstacle it gets easier.

In our area there 3 U3a groups I can catch bus to, and another 2 I can drive to. Each group has a wide variety of classes, but some interests are only catered for by one or two groups. Go to website and investigate what's available.

Do you have an interest such as patchwork or knitting? There are clubs which specialise in that sort of thing and it's always helpful to find people with a shared interest as it gives you an automatic subject to talk about if you're shy about starting a conversation.

I agree U3A is wonderful - you don't have to be clever, just interested (in one or more of the many subjects your local group offers). They often have a volunteer who takes newcomers 'under their wing'. Go for it!

I'm 66 and in a new area. Apart from two neighbours there is no one else living locally to me so I am joining the WI and the Mothers Union in the nearest small town, four miles up the road. That should help me to make new friends. I know it's not something that every one would want to do, and I've never considered it before. Might that be a way for you to get to know people?

I moved back to the UK after several years abroad and have found making friends very difficult. My DH is not a mixer and seems to have no need of anybody else. I tried volunteering and met people to chat to when 'working' but still have not made a friend after 8 years. Easier said than done.

I am a member of U3A, the same as some other's on here, it is a great place to meet new people and learn about things that interest you. There are a vast amount of different courses that you can take and because they are local to you the classes are easy to get to, some are held in members houses. I am currently learning Tai Chi, I attend a course on Philosophy and learning Spanish, I also belong to a Circle Dance Group.

How about a rambling group? Is there one near you? It's a great way to exercise, meet other people in an easy, natural way and you see some wonderful countryside. Quite a few U3as have a walking group, or there ae local groups as well as the Ramblers Association groups.

Yes google U3A and the area you live. Ive never looked back. Also Meet Ups and the area you live. Ramblers association, I to am 67 and never imagined in my retirement I would have so many friends with the groups ive joined, I did my first solo cruise in May and met a lovely friend who plays Bridge, so we are having a week next year in Torquay playing the game with afternoons off for good behaviour. Ive just introduced another friend to learn Bridge and she starts lessons in September she is 72! your never too old to learn anything, its just a state of mind, GooD LUCK eileen66

People like to talk about themselves so show an interest in everyone you meet. The ones who then ask about you may become your friends. So you have to go out there & push your comfort zone. The U3A is a marvellous organisation.
Go for it.

where do you live Eileen, I too am looking for a friend to chat to

Eileen 66

jansuffolk you're near me! I'm in my mid-fifties too & work part-time. We moved to the area 10 years ago and I found it took longer than I thought it would to make new friends. PM me if possible, maybe we could meet for coffee.

I live in Streatham SW 16 London

Thanks for all the suggestions. Hope Eileen66 is finding them useful. It is very difficult making a first step and I agree volunteering is a great way and you have a role to do. I appreciate the info too...I think working away is the biggest obstacle because most groups assume you have time in the day. But thanks very much and I was delighted to have a message from someone in Beccles which is about 16 miles from me!

It's about participating. A good start would be for the OP to come back and take part in this thread.

By that I mean, discuss what has been suggested. If eileen finds it hard to get out and lacks confidence then talking here, online, is a good place to start.

In the words of the song 'Come on, Eileen' !!

I agree that walking a dog at the same time every day leads to meeting and greeting the same people. I can certainly recommend it!
Good Luck Eileen xx

I think you nees to choose several activities that interest you and friends will just appear. Are you interested in politics? Not just party politics but local pressure groups, civic socities residents associations? Any of these welcome new people who are willing to lend a hand.

Then the cultural stuff. Many good suggestions. Im just going to join a Scottish Country Dancing group as Im invited to a massive black tie cheili and want to dance.

Then there is exercise. Our local gym does great daytime classes for the likes of us. People trotting off afterwards for coffee all the time. You feel quite different after a class I assure you. Say yes to lots of things. Friends emerge. Good luck.

Join a Gransnet coffee morning.

See if there is one in your area.
If not, then maybe start one up.
You are already on the site, see who is interested.

Good luck.

No you don't need to have gone to University to join the U3A
Does your local council do health walks?
Being outside is a good booster.
Which subjects did you enjoy at school or wished you could have done? Try to do one of these.
Volunteer
Talk to your doctor about 'depression'

Good point, Anya. Life doesn't come to you. You need to get out and meet it halfway.

I have returned to the village where I lived in the seventies (when I was married, now divorced.) I had thought I would be able to 'slip back in' with the friends I've kept in touch with but have found it immensely difficult and have realised (silly me!) that they (of course!) have 'moved on' and got their own circle of friends. And of course, as I'm a 'single woman' I rarely get invited out with the 'couples'! I've had various 'gatherings' here, but not gone to any others. I have introduced myself to all the neighbours, inviting them for tea/coffee/wine.... but not ONE of them have taken me up on it and I've now (next week) been here a whole year!!!! I've joined WI, a sewing group, I volunteer, but I still feel I don't have any 'special' friends. I do realise it's difficult for some people to have the confidence to walk into a room full of people they don't know, but luckily that doesn't apply to me as I'm fairly outgoing, thank goodness.
I do think, as lots have said above, that your best thing to do to start with is volunteering - again, as said above, most charity shops are crying out for people!! Good luck!

Finding special friends takes time and persistence. I moved here 4 years ago and have tried lots of things and now feel part of the community and have a number of friends I can meet for coffee or walks. Volunteering or befriending someone else is a better than going out looking for friends. Putting yourself into situations where you meet people of different ages is also good for extending your range of acquaintanships. I like helping in the NT garden as I meet the staff who are of mixed age and other volunteers. Many areas have a clearing house for voluntary roles. Political parties or groups like Friends of the Earth are good places to make cross-age friendships with similar outlooks and they are always looking for people who will do various tasks. My most recent way of meeting people is via the network that collects stuff for refugees and supports our tiny and very new Syrian community. The women and children need help with their English and in turn you will get plied with snacks and Arabic coffee. So focus on giving and not getting and eventually you will find that you are making friends.

Anya
The OP did reply @03.32. A thank you might have been nice for the people who've taken the trouble to help and advise.