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surprise parties

(53 Posts)
Catlover123 Thu 07-Sep-17 18:55:13

Just found out my husband had arranged a surprise party, and I hate surprise parties! He can't understand why I should because he says he would like one! He did organise one for me once and I had to put a brave face on it and pretend to enjoy myself, and didn't have the heart to tell him I hated it, so he thinks I loved it! what do you feel about surprise parties?

Imperfect27 Tue 12-Sep-17 09:00:00

I really would love a surprise party for a big birthday ... IF I could be sure of guest list so no-one important was left out ... knew that the food and drink angle was properly covered so all of the family dietry needs were met and there were definitely enough glasses etc. - Oh and MILK for teas and coffees! ... having my best face on .... so vain about having my photo taken ... appropriate outfit - don't dare catch me out in my rough old fleece and trainers look...... CAKE! Just has to be one of my DD's specials ....

Control freak, MOI? grin

MES Tue 12-Sep-17 08:53:07

My three children arranged a surprise party for my 70th. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing all my family and friends. ?

Diddy1 Mon 11-Sep-17 09:29:05

I had a surprise party once when leaving work it was at work and was really great but I wouldnt want one organised by family at home.

NameChange2016 Sun 10-Sep-17 22:14:20

I hate surprises. I hate being the centre of attention. I have anxiety anyway. Also I find it difficult seeing people out of context and I am often confused as to who they are or what to say. I think if a load of people turned up in a restaurant I would be extremely embarrassed and possibly leave!

If I see someone from my place of worship in a supermarket I don't normally go to it throws me. If I go to an event like a local vintage fair, and run into someone I used to work with, I am thrown too and often end up running off to the loo until I think I can come out safely.

I have never worked out strategies for remembering people when I see them out of context, so if anyone can think of any way to do this please let me know!

Gaggi3 Sun 10-Sep-17 21:06:23

My DD's husband organised a surprise lunch party for DD at a restaurant. It went very well and she was thrilled. In the preparation time though she had wondered if he was having an affair as he was very furtive about emails and texts!

GrammaH Sun 10-Sep-17 19:53:16

I'd love a surprise party but I don't think it'll ever happen - it's my 60th next year & I'm already planning my own. We had a surprise party for DS' s 30th last year which was 12 months in the planning & very nerve wracking on the day but worth it all. Last week we had another for mum's 90th, it was fabulous and she was completely bowled over, such fun!

Tessa101 Sun 10-Sep-17 19:35:03

Oh I love surprises and would be very pleased if someone arranged a surprise party for me. However each to there own.

Jawsnana Sun 10-Sep-17 17:04:12

My husband arranged a big surprise party for me at home (on the instructions of the DS and DD), for my 60th, but the poor thing had to tell me about it two weeks beforehand as he was having trouble deciding on and arranging the buffet. I was furious, but had to hide that a bit, as I just didn't want a large number of people coming to the house for a party, especially as we had new carpets put down about 2 months before, and I ended up doing a load of organising and clearing up afterwards etc. I had to forgive him/them though as he also had organised a surprise trip to Boston and New York a few months after my birthday and didn't want the actual day to go by without a celebration. Surprise parties are better if you don't have them at home in my view !! But I enjoyed the day in the end, especially seeing people I had not met up with for years. I'm not really a party person !

grandMattie Sun 10-Sep-17 16:12:31

jocork can I come? I love building things... smile

jocork Sun 10-Sep-17 15:23:35

Surprises are great as long as they don't leave someone embarrassed. I remember my (now ex) husband inviting some old friends to my 40th birthday party as a surprise. I knew about the party as it was also our house-warming but the particular friends were a really lovely surprise.
My son recently told me he and his new wife are coming to visit for my birthday later this month. He said he had considered it being a surprise but realised that if he did that, I might not have sorted out a bed for them as I only had a single in his room and one in the spare room. It has given me chance to buy a new bed in preparation, though I still need to build it! Two weeks to go so should be OK. If they had surprised me I also wouldn't had cleaned/tidied and that would have been truly embarrassing and spoiled the occasion!

Nelliemaggs Sun 10-Sep-17 14:50:18

I have never had a party in my life, though I organised five most years, three for the DC's birthdays, one for Mother and an extra one for my adopted child who arrived with us within a week of the other children's birthdays.

Mother never saw the irony in her determination to have a three line whip imposed on the entire family for her birthday and yet never had one for any of us!

So any kind of party organised by someone other than me would have been most welcome!

grandMattie Sun 10-Sep-17 14:48:19

A friend had a surprise 60th birthday party. I told my DH that under NO circumstances was he to do the same for me! [not that he would have anyway.
I arranged a party for my own 60th and invited people who had meant a great deal to me. To my sorrow, only about 3 turned up. I was dreadfully hurt.
I'm 70 next year, and shall organise something for just DH and me. I hope that the offspring remember. But I hate having a fuss made about me. Having spent most of my life being put down, I don't know what to do with praise! grin

gillyg Sun 10-Sep-17 14:29:37

My OH arranged a really lovely surprise event for my 40th birthday (a fe years ago) ith some of my oldest friends. Unfortunately, it as actually my 39th. No-one liked to tell him until later.
hmm

Teacups Sun 10-Sep-17 13:54:38

Stevej4491. After many years of telling people it would be my worst nightmare. I was surprised 2 months before my actual birthday. I was poorly, had been in bed all afternoon and was "forced"to a relatives house to be surprised. I had a meltdown and walked out. I got changed and went back but couldn't stop crying on and off for the short time I was there. I am still embarrassed and feel ill thinking about it

ajanela Sun 10-Sep-17 13:01:57

On my recent Golden wedding my husband told me he had arranged a special surprise lunch at his favourite football club in a large city. He told me he had spoken to my daughter and she thought I would enjoy it. I wasn't convinced and was very nervous about what would happen but tried to show a positive attitude and I bought him a gift with the football clubs emblem.

The night before I did admit to him I was very nervous as I didn't know what would happen, I imagined having to kick footballs on the pitch or being dressed up in some special costume and I didn't think we were leaving in time to get to the destination by the time he said we had to be there. He did say the destination was nearer then he had said, so I then thought it was a lunch on a boat on the river which I was very pleased about,

We set off next day and at one point we were heading towards the said football stadium. My heart fell. Then we changed direction and were going towards the river. We arrived at the river but no boat in sight. Just a fenced in enclosure and a white building and some artificial grass. Heart fell again. Then we walked along through some gates and there was a small helicopter waiting for us. We were flown on a tour of the coast and then on to a lovely hotel where we landed and received VIP treatment and a wonderful lunch. The pilot waited and we were then flown back to our car. I gave him the gift much to his surprise.

It was all a wonderful surprise and I enjoyed it very much and my friends gave him lots of brownie points. I didn't enjoy the built up beforehand especially as I am not a football fan.

stevej4491 Sun 10-Sep-17 12:49:00

I would go ballistic if anyone did that for me,even to the point of walking out if I had got that far.When I was coming up to retirement,(about four years to go ) i kept telling my closest colleague to make sure there was not going to be any surprise of any sort.She did me proud ,I just finished on my last day with no fuss.I hate being the centre of attention. Even on my wedding day with just twelve guests that was more than enough.

MissAdventure Sun 10-Sep-17 12:42:09

I remember my aunts surprise 70th. The first words she uttered was "Oh no! I've only got my old cardigan on!"

Craftycat Sun 10-Sep-17 12:40:27

Only ever had one- my 40th. MiL who lived 60 odd miles away was rushed into hospital & I could not find DH to tell him- not so many mobile phones then. Everyone I rang was very evasive until I finally tracked him down to home of my best friend - where the party was to be held, They eventually realised it was an emergency & we dashed off .
We got back at 11pm & I was still in jeans & Tshirt I had on that morning. I think everyone had had a good time though- it went on a while but we were exhausted & really only wanted to bed.
I dared him to ever do it again at his peril!!

paddyann Sun 10-Sep-17 12:13:00

attention !

paddyann Sun 10-Sep-17 12:12:43

My family all know I wouldn't want a party I hadn't organised myself and never a birthday party ...ever.I dont like being the centre of attraction so its a massive no no

icanhandthemback Sun 10-Sep-17 11:42:04

I'd sooner have a surprise party than organise a party for myself and then worry about people not turning up!

NemosMum Sun 10-Sep-17 11:36:12

I went to a surprise 40th birthday party for my friend. She got a nasty shock and burst into tears. She became paranoid about her husband, family and friends whom she saw as having deceived her. That was the start of a great decline into severe depression which she has lived with ever since (27 years), even having ECT. Everyone thought her the most stable and steady person prior to that. of course, she was probably vulnerable to that depression anyway, but I'm sorry that it happened at all. I would say that you need to know someone very very well before springing a surprise like that on them.

Catterygirl Sun 10-Sep-17 11:34:43

I would love a surprise party. In fact, any party.

homefarm Sun 10-Sep-17 10:57:47

Snap

JackyB Sun 10-Sep-17 10:50:49

Here in Germany (sorry so many of my posts start like that) the whole neighbourhood descends on anyone who has a birthday, especially a round one. It's no surprise, though, and the birthday girl or his wife have gone to great expense and trouble laying on food and drink. As no one announces anything, there is no knowing how many people will be coming. Most inconsiderate I think. I always make sure I'm not in.