Was I wrong ?

Mauriherb, you are not wrong! That woman was way out of line, because she had no way of knowing your needs and no right to question. Someone with a back or leg injury could also need the extra space or the higher than average loo.

'Disabled', simply means that the space meets the height and width requirements for people who use special needs equipment (walkers, canes, wheelchairs) or need to avail themselves of extra support when they sit, using the special handlebars on the walls.

The common courtesy is not to use it ahead of disabled persons whether they are wheelchair bound or otherwise, and to assume good faith if someone doesn't 'look' disabled.

If the 'Disabled' stall happens to be unoccupied and no other stall is available, anyone can use it.

No, it's perfectly all right to use a disabled toilet if it's the only one available. There's a sign on the door of a loo at our local Tesco "Not all disabilities are visible" or some such. Pity it's the only loo that's reasonably clean. The Ladies has a seat missing, a loo paper holder ripped from the wall and the others stink. Therefore I think I'll be using the Disabled in future.

This is a true story. We were on a coach tour of Italy. The coach pulled in at a service station for us to use the loo. The women rushed to the ladies but it was closed and the attendant told us to use the mens. So we all dashed in and used the cubicles. When we came out the men were using the urinals and were mortified as we walked past! We thought the attendant would have kept them out till we'd finished. It was even worse that we knew the men as they were from our coach. So embarrassing.

This discussion is getting silly there are too many whatifs going on here.

This discussion seems to have ignored the fact that if there is only one accessible toilet and another mobilty disabled person comes along they will still have to wait.

If say a person only has problems of urgency but does not actually need the mobility space required then the question of which toilet is used is not an issue. Unless as in many places the queue is a long one.

If they are desperate and there are no spare cubicles, there is nothing more you can do but explain your predicament to someone in the queue to see if they will allow you to jump the queue.

Theatre intervals can be dreadful.

The Queen mother is supposed to have once said "when you see a toilet use it."

Well then Nelliemoser if you are in that much need why not say to people who have the decency to queue that you really need to be at the front and see what response you get? Shops etc do not go to the expense and trouble of providing facilities for those who are disabled so that people, who are perfectly able to use ordinary cubicles, can put themselves above and beyond the needs of others. That it is not illegal to use the facilities is like saying MPs who claim outrageous expenses are OK because they are ‘not breaking any rules’. There is a distinct lack of consideration for people with disabilities in this thread - it would be a good exercise for you all to ponder that for some people access to such facilities can mean the difference between being able to plan an outing or being housebound.

You should have said Not all disabilities are visible. I see nothing wrong in using an empty toilet theye cannot stand empty for maybe a disabled person comes along

I can't see what the problem is in using the disabled accessible toilet if no other is available & you haven't queue jumped a disabled person. I have noticed in some venues the toilets are suitable for everyone & thankfully especially in hospitals. Perhaps there should be more of both types. On a slightly different note the toilet cubicles in our local hospital are so small that you have to be Houdini to get in & out.!!

I've used the gents - by mistake in fairness - but I survived. I have also used a disabled toilet when no other was available. I interpret the sign as meaning the toilet is accessible, not just for a section of the community.

Slightly different I know but on a holiday coach trip the men had been in and out of their toilets while the queue for the ladies had moved little. We decided, as a group, to commandeer the gents, no men were allowed in until the ladies were all comfortable. I'm not recommending it on a regular basis but it worked and did cause some laughter

In my view you were perfectly reasonable Mauriherb, put it out of your mind.

Shops go to the expense because they realise that disabled people are their customers, just the same as everyone else.

I have a bowel disability which isn't visible to people. I use disabled loos because it's not just about space in there.its also having the washbasin in case of accidents in my case.cant really clean myself up in front of everyone at the sinks!!!!! Some of the comments here I find very derogatory, though if you've not got a disability especially a hidden one like mine l don't suppose you'll understand.

I am so exasperated.
Is it not idiotic that an 'accessible ' toilet would stand empty while there was a queue of desperate people waiting for other cubicles to become vacant.

Of course someone who could only use an accessible cubicle would have priority.
Surely such a person would also understand the cubicle being used - desperate is desperate and becomes an emergency. I'm sure that a person with a disability would be willing to speak up with a ''' coming through.... Disabled cubicle please ..... or words to that effect.

I dont want to rush in front of an officially disabled person..... of course not. But lets minimize a queue where possible as long as noone is disadvantaged.

Some folk just look for something to complain about.

First you say there was no queue, then you make us believe there was a queue ? (by saying - ( I certainly wouldn't have used it if a disabled person was behind me in the queue). Don't think your being completely honest about this. Think the lady was waiting in the queue and made that remark when she saw you coming out, was she disabled ?

I use disabled loos quite a bit for a start the seats are higher and it's easier to get up.

I use the disabled loo if it's free as too many toilets have infant school loos, and I've nearly got stuck on occassion. Until recently I moved normally so no one would know that I have dodgy knees.

You were right to use it, on the basis of the fact that, like you said, there was no person with a disability waiting to use it. I've taken the same approach on several occasions but damn, on one occasion, I pulled the alarm cable, when I meant to 'pull' the chain. And let's face it, there are a lot of people around today who haven't had a good day, if they haven't found something to complain about.

Pennydragon there was no queue, I meant that if there had been a queue with a disabled person in it , then I certainly would not have used the disabled toilet. The person who made the comment was washing her hands when I came out of the cubicle. I am certainly not being dishonest

I often use a disabled toilet in our local M+S. I am disabled, don't look it - no wheelchair and no limp - and sometimes receive a funny look from people when I am exiting the toilet. Nothing has ever been said but I feel guilty because I am not obviously disabled. Good on you for using the facilities.

No you weren't wrong. 'Disabled' means they are wheelchair-accessible and those with wheelchairs, equipment or special needs have priority.

Just as on buses, the wheelchair space is just that, doesn't mean no-one can stand there or put a buggy if there's no wheelchair user, as long as they make way if one comes on board.

Don't worry about it! Sensible thing to do!

Have done gents loos at theatres, queue too long for ladies, and in skiing resorts. Just look away at the urinals. Have also used disabled toilets many moons ago with pram, baby, and lots of shopping. Got told off by disabled woman needing to use loo. But wasn’t sure what else I could do. Lose baby? Shopping? Wet myself?

I agree with all posts ....a disabled toilet means it's there because disabled people have easier access to it. A able person can use if it's free.
I have tinnitus and usually use disabled toilets because I really can't stand the sound of hand dryers in toilets in some places.....it hurts my ears.....in a disabled loo I can use hand towels.

Of course you were right if anyone needs a wee and there’s an empty loo why on earth would you stand waiting just in case a disabled person might come along
One day I was desperate and there was a great long queue for the ladies and not a soul for the gents . I said anyone want to use the gents everyone looked aghast at me so taking that as a no I went and had my wee washed my hands and toddled off, no one followed my example All daft
I have no problem using a men’s or disabled if they are not in use why not ?

Has common sense gone out with the ark? Of course you weren't in the wrong, the person in the wrong was Mrs Pompous telling you off.

I have no problem with anyone using the accessible (should not be called Disabled) toilet. Can be very useful when there is a long queue and taking a toddler to toilet. When they say they want to go, they usually mean immediately.
what annoys me much more is the long queues in so many public buildings at Ladies Toilets, whilst the Mens, next door is obviously virtually empty. Do we really need to keep these distinctions? Surely, provided that cubicle loos are in place, these should all be for any gender use.
I would like to see more special low toilets in public places for children (say under-5's), so these little ones do not have to wait in a long queue.
For many year I suffered from Colitus and did have a card which I was supposed to show to a queue to enable to me to jump to the front (never had the courage to use it though). For the last 27 years have a bag, (ileostomy), and really like to use a cubicle which has space and its own wash basin etc. I do use a stick for walking now, for most of that time I walked normally, so often did get frowns when I used the Accessible toilet.
The Radar key idea is good, but the one I have weighs so much, I rarely take it out of my car.

An empty loo is an available one. Any loo marked disabled only is unlikely to be used as much as others in the same location so should also be considered as available. Perhaps we should be aiming for every loo to be available for all.