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Was I wrong ?

(117 Posts)
Mauriherb Mon 23-Oct-17 09:29:14

Yesterday, while in town, I needed the loo. I went into the public ones and there was no queue but all the cubicles were occupied except the disabled one, so I used that. When I came out a lady mumbled something about me not looking disabled so I pointed out that the door said "disabled" not "disabled only" which I assume means that anyone could use it. I certainly wouldn't have used it if a disabled person was behind me in the queue. My question is.... was I wrong to use the disabled loo ?

Aepgirl Mon 23-Oct-17 12:41:30

Some people just enjoy a good grumble. She'd probably gave moaned if you had wee'd on the floor waiting for a different cubicle. Carry on sharing, that's my advice.

Dana6789 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:48:06

Grannyticktock - hear hear! You just wrote more or less exactly what my thoughts are.

codfather Mon 23-Oct-17 12:52:02

If it's for the exclusive use of disabled people, it should be fitted with a RADAR lock. Some establishments only supply a disabled toilet for the use of all!

When my children/grandchildren were small, I would take them into a disabled toilet especially if they were female! Avoided taking them into the gents if at all possible!

Anya Mon 23-Oct-17 13:05:19

I used the disabled toilets when I broke my arms, because I couldn’t turn taps or door handles and these are lever-type in disabled loos. I have a friend with Crohn’s Disease who looks perfectly normal but needs to use the disabled loos.

So this tutt-tutter needs to stop her tutt-tutting.

Luckygirl Mon 23-Oct-17 13:09:23

The fact that a loo is adapted for use by those with disabilities does not mean no-one else can use it! It just tells someone with a disability that this would be the best loo for them.

hulahoop Mon 23-Oct-17 13:18:21

My oh was given a radar key as he needed space and shelves for things he needed when visiting toilet a problem you couldn't see would never dream of parking in disabled it's not the same.

Diddy1 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:21:00

You were NOT wrong, of course this woman assumed you didnt have a disability, so what right did she have to assume such a thing,
I think it is an excellent idea for some stores to have Accessible Toilet for people with disabilities, no matter what the disablity is, dicky hip, weaker bladder etc, they dont have to be seen!
Ladies, carry on using wherever is available when needs must!

janipat Mon 23-Oct-17 13:23:15

Coco51, you've not commented about the etiquette when there is just one loo which is marked accessible? And why assume that a wheelchair user cannot wait a minute or two to use the loo? What happens if two disabled users arrive at the same time? Should they enter into a discussion about whose need is greater? Nobody should be challenged because they exit an accessible loo on foot without walking aids, because not all disabilities are visible. My mother would have gladly swopped her terminal illness, which didn't get her a blue badge despite hardly being able to walk, for many a disability.

Craftycat Mon 23-Oct-17 13:23:16

If there is no queue- why not? Once in France there was a long queue for ladies & none at all for men so I nipped in there . I got strange looks but once in a cubicle it doesn't matter what sex you are. I expect they just thought I couldn't read French-which I can!!

meandashy Mon 23-Oct-17 13:33:49

I am disabled. I do find it frustrating if I'm waiting to use a disabled facility only to see a whole family come traipsing out! I need the higher seat and rails. If there are other facilities and you can hold on please use them.

Tessa101 Mon 23-Oct-17 13:48:09

Of course you were not wrong agree with Luckygirl I will use them if they are empty and a disabled person isn’t waiting.

Horatia Mon 23-Oct-17 14:16:41

You cant be desperate for the toilet and with a toilet vacant in the event that someone might need it. If you did and a disabled person came along then they would be given first place in the queue naturally for the disabled toilet.

harrigran Mon 23-Oct-17 14:17:25

I don't see it as a problem, it was not as if you pushed past several disabled to get in.
I agree about not being able to tell if a person has a disability, I require disabled facilities with space to place equipment and a wash basin within the cubicle. It sometimes takes me a while and I do get stares when I exit under my own steam.

granmanat Mon 23-Oct-17 14:31:42

If you are desperately in need of a wee and you have a weak bladder like mine, it is common sense to use what is available. What's the alternative? Pee all over the floor when there is a vacant loo... Some people need to seriously mind their own business and think beyond the visibly obvious.

Maidmarion Mon 23-Oct-17 14:35:39

Ive often used the 'Gents' when there's a queue ... Especially in places like M & S. Often ladies in the queue are aghast, but I tell them it's the same toilet as in the ladies (although often not so clean!) and as others have said - any port in a storm!!!

goldengirl Mon 23-Oct-17 14:50:05

Many 'disabled' toilets now have an additional sign saying 'not every disability is visible' [or some such wording]. The aim is to highlight the fact that it isn't just for those in wheelchairs but also for those who might need more space to change a ostomy bag etc. Also there might not be a parent toilet big enough to take a pram and I for one would be unhappy to leave a pram outside with a baby in it. It's really an 'accessible' toilet - for those who need more space including those who are wheelchair users as cubicles as so small. I've been tutted at for using it as I have IBS and speed can be essential. However now I'm using a stick and sometime need to use the rails I've met with no opposition to date! It boils down to people's perception.

W11girl Mon 23-Oct-17 15:08:41

Of course you weren't wrong to use it! I would have done the same. Just because you don't look disabled doesn't mean you're not. I have a compressed disc in my spine and find it difficult to use the smaller cubicles sometimes, so I use the disabled ones. Luckygirl, I think your comment in telling the disgruntled person what to do was most appropriate in the circumstances!! It made me laugh!

maryeliza54 Mon 23-Oct-17 15:15:42

There may not be a disabled person around at the time you go in but what if someone disabled ( either visibly or not) just after you’ve gone in and they don’t have the possibility of using a normal cubicle or there’s a long queue. I’ve waited a longish time outside of a disabled loo ( when the others were up a flight of stairs) only for giggling young women to come out or a woman and child

dorsetpennt Mon 23-Oct-17 15:21:06

I often used a disabled loo as long as someone disabled isn't waiting to use it. The sign is to indicate that the facilities are suitable for disabled people, not to indicate that non-disabled can't used it. I've said as much to the odd person who has muttered something regarding this.

lindiann Mon 23-Oct-17 16:02:50

LOL Charleygirl I did the same thing by mistake only wasn't so lucky. I was washing my hands and a Man walked in. I gave him a glare and he said "Don't look at me like that Madam this is the Male toilets" One very red face

lemongrove Mon 23-Oct-17 16:12:39

Exactly dorsetpennt
And in fact, even if somebody is in a wheelchair, they may not be ‘desperate’ to go, whereas somebody with a very weak bladder but not physically disabled would have a greater need.
The wider and larger toilet is there to accommodate wheelchair users or anyone else with disabilities, but is not only for them, so if nobody there needs it, why not use it?

Baggs Mon 23-Oct-17 16:19:19

I use so-called disabled loos sometimes too. I used one the other day. I was looking for a 'Ladies', couldn't find one but did find a disabled loo. So I used it.

I use 'Gents' as well sometimes. Not when there is a row of urinals but when there is a gents' loo that is exactly the same as a nearby ladies' one, nobody is using it and there's a queue for the Ladies.

Nobody has ever commented except to say "Good idea!" and if anyone has looked disapproving I haven't noticed.

Baggs Mon 23-Oct-17 16:20:35

Surely a weak bladder can be counted as a disability? Disabilities don't have to be major to be disabling in significant ways.

Brismum Mon 23-Oct-17 16:25:16

Not at all the same as parking for blue badge holders. Disability is not always visible so don't feel guilty. Let commonsence prevail for goodness sake!

ooonana Mon 23-Oct-17 16:43:29

Absolutely not, I do it a lot if the time plus there’s more space and mostly always plenty of everything you might need! Don’t feel guilty...unless of course there is a disabled person around waiting