What is the right thing to do

A kiss and a cuddle and encourage him to say bye-bye. He will soon realise that you always do come back.

I'm another one who says 'Goodbye' despite the tears. I always leave kisses in the palms of their hands which they put under their pillows and keep safe until I see them again.

Please never sneak away. Think how you would feel if someone you had just been having coffee with in the kitchen suddenly disappeared. You'd be frantic with worry and scared stiff ! Good suggestions above for helping him cope.

Definately always say goodbye despite the tears. This was the advice we always gave to parents when I used to work in a playgroup.
My grandsons are now 10 and 9. We live 300 miles apart to when I see them it is for at least a week at a time. If they are there when I leave they still both cry. If they have to go to school they say goodbye and put on a brave face although you can see the lips wobble.

Instead of saying "Goodbye" which sounds very final we always used to say "See you later" This worked well as they knew we were going to be seeing them again

I would definitely say bye bye. We try and keep it quick and easy for our granddaughter both when her mum drops her off here to go to work and when we go over there. She understands that bye bye and see you later means she will see us or her mum and dad soon. Going without saying goodbye is not giving your grandson a chance to deal with his temporary feeling of abandonment and the chance to realise you will be back. I would say don't make an issue of it. I cringe when I see people clutching their children or grandchildren to them saying Oh nana is going to miss you so much. Not necessary and much more confusing for the child.

Serkeen
Can you not say you have to feed a neighbours dog,/ cat,/ rabbit and will let him know how they are next time you come to see him ?Usually a purpose does the trick especially if it is an animal..

You should never just slip away without saying goodbye, as your GS would be totally bewildered if one minute you were there and the next minute you'd gone. Then it would be left to Mummy to explain that Nana's gone home, and surely he would cry then? So it wouldn't avoid the tears, it would only avoid you having to witness his tears. Added to that, he would possibly feel that you didn't think he was important enough, or didn't love him enough to say goodbye.
Young children don't have the ability to control or even understand their emotions. Tears come quickly as a reaction to all sorts of minor upsets and hurts - they are still learning how to cope with them. We shouldn't try to avoid these little upsets, because they do have to experience them in order to grow emotionally.

Do say goodbye, get DIL to have him in her arms, big kiss and out. Over the years I have found the DGS's do this far more than the DGDs.

My gd always asks "When will I see you again"? We work out the number of days (usually only 2 or 3!) and she's happy once she knows.

I love gagagran's suggestion of the kiss being left in their hand for later use. A gorgeous idea!

However it is done - do it quickly. Stringing it out is what causes most upset. Get organised for a quick exit then be cheerful, positive but swift. (Speaking as a retired reception teacher).

We have found that it really is important to have a sort of countdown to leaving so that it's not such a shock when we leave. So we say, can I read you one more book before I go? Or can we play one more game before we go ... signalling that you are going soon.

I also give a funny kiss, like blowing a raspberry so we part laughing.

Just lately, now the GC are 3 and 5, we have started saying go up to your front bedroom so you can see us drive away. Lots of waving and kisses.

There are still tears sometimes but I'm assured they soon pass.

Tell him you'll be going 'soon' but you'll give him a goodbye kiss and cuddle 'now' - then make your departure a non-event by going when his back is turned. I don't see the point in making him cry when there's a potential way around things.

Totally agree with everything said about the importance of saying goodbye, I also think a ‘count down’ is really helpful as Lazymail suggested, it just gives children time to process things. As Rockgran says don’t string it out! That’s for your benefit not theirs!

I agree with radicalnan... Say goodbye but say you will ring as soon as you get home so he has something to look forward to.

remember that life is uncertain - if you left without saying goodby and something bad happened you would never forgive yourself - learning to say goodbye is an important part of childhood development - trust your daughter in law x

I think you should say goodbye but may it short with a hug a goodbye and then leave even if he is crying or clingy. Just vanishing is probably confusing but there is nothing to gain by you being the one to comfort him if he is upset.
I like Barmeyoldbat's idea of giving him the details of when you will see him next but again, do it quickly, firmly and matter of factly.

He'll grow out of it. Be thankful he cares so much about you!

Shazmo24 I also wondered whether the actual words, "Good-bye" need to be said. If you can say something else - "Must go now and do (whatever) " or, "Grandad will be wondering when I will come home" or, "Look after this for me until I see you again on Tuesday" it takes the sting out of the fateful farewell.

Emphasise when you will be back, what you will be doing when you get home, and phone to report on how it went. Paint a picture of yourself still existing in your own home and thinking of him/her, not vanishing into thin air when you leave.

We settled on "See ya later snootergator", where 'later' meant some unspecified time in the future. I can't remember where that came from but I suspect DD2 had something to do with it.

I usually say I am going to the shop and will see him next time. He now says bye.

I would definitely say goodbye, and I like rockgran’s advice. I would feel more insecure in your grandson’s place if I never knew when you were going to disappear unexpectedly.

I think you should say goodbye, but add that you will be back again another time.

My son was the same, but it's better to be truthful - that way they learn to understand.

Just remembered what I used to say when Minibaggs was a baby and DD1 (19+ years older) was departing after a visit: "See you another day!" Minibaggs morphed this to "Subba-gubba-gay!" with the right intonation.