New dog

My daughter was not expecting to have an emergency c section with her first baby, we don't normally expect problems but they happen, would it be fair on a new dog if heaven forbid your daughter found herself in the same situation or similar, as we all know new babies are extremely hard work without potential complications x

When I was born my parents had a German shepherd bitch that they were fond of, but she was so jealous of me that my father didn't dare keep her and re-housed her on a farm.

I don't know whether telling your daughter this is going to help to get her to hold her horses and not consider another dog until as others have suggested she has had her baby and is able to judge how much time and energy she has left for anything else than her child.

Obviously, you need to tread carefully. It would be a dreadful pity if your advice here caused trouble between you and your daughter.

Perhaps you should have a quiet word with your son-in-law when your daughter is out of earshot. You say he does not want a second dog, and there is no guarantee that the two dogs (I assume they are both male) will get on together. The 3 year old dog your DD and SIL already have is unlikely to be thrilled by the introduction of another adult? dog.

Point out that however happy you will be to look after your GC on occasion, even if you are willing to have the dog or dogs, your cats will not be. AND I seriously doubt whether dogs of that breed are safe around cats.
Obviously, you are a cat lover like me, so you know your cats will be offended when you start cooing over baby, don't you? Having to keep cats and strange dogs apart will be a nightmare in such circumstances.

Perhaps by pointing out that two dogs means twice the amount of dog food, etc. and twice the amount of exercise - those dogs need a lot of walking you can persuade your DD to reconsider.

Congrats on the soon-to be grandchild. Hope you can get past this dog business without it causing trouble and that you and your DD can enjoy this exciting time.

Get your daughter to read all the comments on here. She'd be making a big mistake getting this 2nd dog at this time.

I am truly grateful for all your messages, and especially yours Lewie!! I think I will show her this thread, it’s been so useful although without exception you have agreed with my misgivings.

I've been breeding and showing a working breed of dog for 40 years and an important clause in all my puppy sales contracts is that no new baby is planned for at least 12 months, to ensure that the puppy gets all the attention while he is growing up.

Interesting scenario, Lewie. How do you make it work if the woman becomes pregnant (could be by accident) Do you remove the puppy?

Can you really enforce something like that?

After all the horror stories in the newspapers I'm amazed she isn't giving her dog away, not getting a second one. I know it's not your decision but try and talk your daughter out of it.
I had a cat before having children and he was so jealous when my babies came along. My husband also wanted a Labrador just as I had my first baby. We had him for a week and then returned him to the breeder as I couldn't cope with a baby needing feeding every hour and a half and a puppy weeing everywhere. Sorry to be so pessimistic.

Would it help if your daughter could experience first-hand how things go with a first new baby ánd two big dogs? Maybe you know someone in that situation who could invite your daughter and talk to her about the dogs not being walked, the house not beeing cleaned, the tiredness etc.

Agree with everything said except no dogs ever with children! Was going to suggest same as Bathsheba let her see the thread. Do let us know the outcome. Good luck ?

Dog trainer here - NO. NO. a million times NO.

No way. We were landed with a dog that has sudden rage syndrome. Its not nice. It didn't start until he was over a year old. Its no joke having pets. We've been told when there are grandchildren the dog will have to go. Our world is very limited because of the dog at the moment. I would never have had a dog. Two with baby. Hell on earth

Hello Newnannie, I agree with fellow Gransnetters, your daughter is probably going to find looking after one dog hard going with a baby, let alone two and Huskies at that! Personally I think your daughter, as with the majority of mums-to-be, completely under estimates how time consuming a new baby is. I'm sure we have all smiled when we have heard first time mums-to-be say how a baby isn't going to change their lives and baby will have to fit in, I'll still go for my weekly manicure etc etc.....! Sadly it is the dog that will suffer if it does all indeed prove too much for your daughter to handle. It doesn't look as if your SIL is prepared to step in to help with 2nd dog either which I can't blame him for. Fingers crossed if you are close to your daughter you can have a frank conversation with her and she will be persuaded doggy 2 isn't the best idea at the moment. Good Luck.

I agreed wholeheartedly with the comments (which is the entire thread, really, isn't it) that it would just be too much hard work and I agree with the suggestions that you let her read this thread, just so she knows it's not just you being a worry-wort needlessly.

We found a beautiful malamute girl at our local rescue centre last year, and were desperate to adopt her. We are a three adult household, with a visiting six year old grandchild at the weekends. We weren't allowed to adopt because of her coming to visit.

We were also told, although the existing malmute owners on this thread may be able to speak otherwise, that we could not let a malamute off the lead for a run due to the intense chase instinct, and as already said above, they put Houdini to shame in terms of escaping.

We could cope with all that. But as I said, we are a three adult family and not a brain-frazzled first time mummy who likely won't know what day it is for the first few months at least.

I would definitely discourage her from this course of action as firmly as possible.

(And maybe I can have the second, unwanted malamute, as every rescue centre is looking for experienced owners. If I can't have a malamute, how do I get experience!! )

Hurdygurdy, I am no malamute expert, my daughter is much more so but no, you can’t let them off the lead unless they are in an enclosed field. They are however much more placid than huskies, or hers is at least!! He really is a lovely boy, he doesn’t even try to jump over fences, no Houdini is he!!

... and a NO from me as well.Many dogs are good with children ( children already in the family when dog arrives)
But dogs don’t see babies as children and don’t really know what they are! Any dog, large or small is a risk to a baby, and new parents really need to take great care.

Tegan2 makes a good point. We do not know how a dog will react when the baby moves in. My golden retriever, chosen for the breed's family oriented skills, was wonderful when my third baby arrived a year after I got my dog, but she could just as equally been jealous. She put up with a lot from the growing baby, even having a hard brick bonked (accidentally) on her head which I thought would make her snap - but she just sat still and looked sad. She let my infant haul herself up holding her and learn to walk and she guarded the pram. But would she have felt the same with another dog in the house? I seriously doubt it. Incidentally, my dog was planned, the baby - a surprise! (GOOD surprise!) However, this Mal sounds very sweet but is going to face big and puzzling competition. It does not need further competition from another dog! If she is hoping that the 2 dogs will amuse each other, she is effectively asking them to form a pack together to give her some space. It won't happen. They will both want her attention just as much. I have 5 very small rescued dogs, and a large garden. When I lie down for a rest they all come and lie on top of me! They all need me, and I love it, being on my own. But trying to feed a new baby or get it off to sleep while amusing a puppy and reassuring the older dog?? That would be impossible. In some ways two dogs are no more trouble than one, but not with a new baby and not while raising another puppy. Puppy raising, after all, is like having a baby, you need to be very patient and be prepared for mess and disturbed sleep! Not something I'd do in pregnancy.

What a good point Tegan made about whether a Malamute rescue organisation would allow your daughter to have one of their dogs. Maybe worth talking to a dog rehoming organisation or a vet for expert opinion on dog (especially a Malamute) rehoming with a new baby. Hopefully, their opinion would back up your thoughts when talking to you DD. I've never seen a post on Gransnet where everyone is in total agreement.

Just going off at a tangent here, but was at a nature reserve yesterday and took a photo of these amazing dogs; the owner had said the one in front was the 'Specsavers' dog. At first I took what she said at face value, then decided I must have misinterpreted it, then decided again that it was the actual dog; probably because the dogs were unbelievably well trained and also that they had quite a crowd of people looking at them...

Dogs and babies do not go together. My sister's son had to return their dog to whom they were devoted to the breeder. They only did this after they had tried day care, put the dog on tranquilizers etc. Despite everything the dog bit the baby and this brought them to their senses. However the poor child who grew up in such a stressful situation is now hyper active and sees a counselor at school etc. He is hyper active and attention seeking. I put this all down to the terror of living with a dog who was threatening him from birth.

Some dogs are fine with babies and small children and will in fact be their 'guardian' as we found out when DGS was small. However, they are the absolute exception rather than the rule and introducing another new dog into a family expecting a new baby is a very bad idea.
Unless the dogs have acres to run in and live outside I think I would be apprehensive about the dog I had already, let alone getting another one.

Someone mentioned 'pack instinct' - that is another worry.

I cannot add anything to what other grans have written which is all top notch advice and understanding of the whole situation.

When I had my first dog [a cocker spaniel] I was very concerned at tales I'd heard of spaniels that had been jealous of babies and had to be rehomed/pts. So, from when I first had her, much as it hurt me to do so, I treated her very much as a dog. It was only 18 months - 2 years later when my daughter was born that I started to really make a fuss of the dog, after having introduced her to the new baby. I adore dogs [and still remember the first Malamute I ever saw; it was in a pub in the Peak District and I was enthralled by it's beauty] but the very thing that makes them such good companions [ie being pack animals] is the very thing that can cause problems when new 'pack members' are introduced.

I also agree with everyone else show her these posts hopefully it will help. I have got 2 terrier dogs luckily my children are grown up and my dogs have over 2 hours walks each day.

Get a printout of this thread and leave it for your daughter to read. If she won't read it follow her round the house reading out bits of it.

You don't have to include your original post.

Or threaten her with Lewie's vision of birth control for future pregnancies.

No!!! She is going to have trouble looking after the dog she already has without getting another one. When I was pregnant with my first child I thought nothing would change, the baby would fit in with us, not the other way around. Was I wrong.